No, no, the slotted spoon is what you use to get the tadpoles out of the water. Silly Alaskan!
And you're from Texas - what part of "highs in the upper 90's and the humidity nearly there" would make you think we'd want to get within 100 feet of a wood-burning stove?! (though we do have a gas-fired one)
back in oz when we were sheep farmers, we used to cook on an Aga stove that ran on coke
christmas was 100 degrees but mum would always turn out a roasted turkey and roasted lamb