Are you gaining or maintaining?
Yep.....
I did gain last week but lost this week.
Last week was He!! I was living on coffee donuts and four hours sleep a night. Oh wait thats how I live any way... with the exception of donuts. i have said it in the past I dont do hospitals well at all. it all started with the ER. if I see an IV I start hyperventilating a bit... I can deal with it if I can sit and cover my eyes. But we were in the ER for six hours and they were getting ready do discharge her. but her heart rate spiked and suddenly there were three nurses in there and a doctor.
When they said they would be admitting her. I fled.... Told grandma I couldnt stay any more. My son had been waiting in the car the whole time.... NONE of us had had anything to eat all day. INcluding grandma.
I made mom visit her the next day... Mothers day. then Dean and I visited her on Monday. That was when we found out they had convinced her to get a pacemaker. The next morning on Tuesday they took her to Scripps La Jolla for the surgery. Transported her Tuesday morning the surgery happened at 8 am. We visited her that afternoon.
Thats when I had my first panic attack. Mom was in the room and I was hyperventilating... I had to leave using the bathroom as an excuse. When I went out in the hall all I could hear was the beep beep beep of heart monitors up and down the wing.... made it worse. The walking helped and when I returned I just sat down in the hall. Nice to have your chair with you every where you go....
fancy hospital all the rooms are singles... and each have one whole wall of glass for an outstanding view of the La Jolla area. There was even a couch that would double as a day bed.
They dishcarged her on thursday. Panic again and I have been in a state of anxiety ever since.... Because No one thought to take care of the wounds she had from falling.... I had to bring it to the attention of the ER nurse so she could get bandaged better than we had at home. Then Scripps didnt like that bandaging and replaced it with their own.... There was a mis communication as to when the traveling nurse would be here.... Scirpps said last week Kaiser said soon..... Three phone calls from a schedualer ment her first nurse visit would happen after taking her to the pacemaker clinic at Kaiser.
The nurse was happily ignoring me while working with grandma... Saying how she should wash the pacemaker incision site gently to keep it clean..... I finally got a word in..... So How about the wound on her arm. How do we protect that. Then I mentioned that she needed that wound dressed. So Grandma took off her sweater and the pacemaker nurse said "Oh MY" and dressed the wound.... you see when grandma fell she scraped her arm. Which in 99 year old skin almost gloved her arm.
I am afraid the hospital staff tends to gloss over family when they offer information.... The travelling nurse Did Not.... Yay.
oh then the nurse at scripps gave me a package of grandmas belongings and said.... Here is your box for the pace maker instructions are inside. I just brought it home and layed it on the couch. What she neglected to tell me that it was a monitor that I needed to use to monitor the pace maker function.
The pacemaker nurse just shook her head and started to explain how to use it..... I said thats all well and good but where does it plug into the computer.... No computer plug in..... it uses Wifi or cell phone communication. Unfortunately we are in a dead zone for cell phone reception. and told her that. No worries it just means we will have to come in twice a year instead of once...
Panic.... failure.... Hyperventilation.... but all ok but the anxiety mechanism didnt go away. on the way home I turned left infront of oncoming traffic. No accident jsut ruffled feathers on the gal who had to swerve around me..... I cried all the way home.
that was yesterday.....
I darted my self last night..... Paying for it today but I needed it.
so.... life goes on
deb
