The Old Folks Home
- Thread starter Wisher1000
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okay I think we are all tired of the politics but if bone head president wants to do some good kill it
NO MORE TIME DAYLIGHT SAVINGS CRAP..
I have no idea this tweet carp maybe someone could tweet him
NO MORE TIME DAYLIGHT SAVINGS CRAP..
I have no idea this tweet carp maybe someone could tweet him
Last edited:
Oh heavens, leave a lighton! I'm so sorry. Tell that dear lady if having a bad memory is a reason to end one's life, we would all be dead! I know how upsetting this is for you to hear from your mom, especially when they have been sharp as a tack their whole lives and suddenly realize that their memories are slipping a bit. It's hard enough on me when I realize I've walked into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator door and suddenly realize what I want is in the cupboard. I mean, DUH! Just reassure her that she is normal, as frequently as necessary. Give her a notebook and have her jot things down. Photo albums are marvelous memory stimulation for the elderly. I've had so many people, in and out of nursing homes tell me that their moms or dads have Alzheimers and they are so afraid that they have it. I always responded by asking them if they loose their car keys. Everybody has, right? Then I ask them when they find their car keys do they remember what they are for? They laughed and always said, 'Yes, of course! To make my car run' I just hugged everyone at that point and said, congratulations, you do not have Alzheimer's disease.
Superchemicalgirl. My deepest condolences. Suicide is horrible. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem and while the person who ends their lives are out of their pain, the family they leave behind suffers for the rest of their lives. No words can make it hurt less. No hugs can take away the painful realization that the loved one is gone forever. I am a true believer that suicide is a symptom of a hidden illness that the sufferer has buried deep inside of themselves. So many times there are no warnings. It just happens. My heart aches for your family and the pain you have felt. Like I said, there are no words of comfort I can say.
My bright spot of the day. DH went to our Amish neighbor's house to buy dog food (he has a feed business on the side) and came home with a dozen bantam mix hatching eggs for me. The Brinsea is cranking up even as I type.
Superchemicalgirl. My deepest condolences. Suicide is horrible. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem and while the person who ends their lives are out of their pain, the family they leave behind suffers for the rest of their lives. No words can make it hurt less. No hugs can take away the painful realization that the loved one is gone forever. I am a true believer that suicide is a symptom of a hidden illness that the sufferer has buried deep inside of themselves. So many times there are no warnings. It just happens. My heart aches for your family and the pain you have felt. Like I said, there are no words of comfort I can say.
My bright spot of the day. DH went to our Amish neighbor's house to buy dog food (he has a feed business on the side) and came home with a dozen bantam mix hatching eggs for me. The Brinsea is cranking up even as I type.
Oh heavens, leave a lighton! I'm so sorry. Tell that dear lady if having a bad memory is a reason to end one's life, we would all be dead! I know how upsetting this is for you to hear from your mom, especially when they have been sharp as a tack their whole lives and suddenly realize that their memories are slipping a bit. It's hard enough on me when I realize I've walked into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator door and suddenly realize what I want is in the cupboard. I mean, DUH! Just reassure her that she is normal, as frequently as necessary. Give her a notebook and have her jot things down. Photo albums are marvelous memory stimulation for the elderly. I've had so many people, in and out of nursing homes tell me that their moms or dads have Alzheimers and they are so afraid that they have it. I always responded by asking them if they loose their car keys. Everybody has, right? Then I ask them when they find their car keys do they remember what they are for? They laughed and always said, 'Yes, of course! To make my car run' I just hugged everyone at that point and said, congratulations, you do not have Alzheimer's disease.
Superchemicalgirl. My deepest condolences. Suicide is horrible. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem and while the person who ends their lives are out of their pain, the family they leave behind suffers for the rest of their lives. No words can make it hurt less. No hugs can take away the painful realization that the loved one is gone forever. I am a true believer that suicide is a symptom of a hidden illness that the sufferer has buried deep inside of themselves. So many times there are no warnings. It just happens. My heart aches for your family and the pain you have felt. Like I said, there are no words of comfort I can say.
My bright spot of the day. DH went to our Amish neighbor's house to buy dog food (he has a feed business on the side) and came home with a dozen bantam mix hatching eggs for me. The Brinsea is cranking up even as I type.
@Leave a LightOn how awful... I feel so bad you the pain that is left behind is so wrong..
again my deepest condolences for you
again my deepest condolences for you
And my friend, you are completely normal also. Tears wash the soul clean of pain.
@superchemicalgirl Hugs to you
Oh, for Heaven's sake. If a bad memory was reason to end a life, how come men are allowed to live? Most of 'em can't remember what happened last week, and that's considered 'normal' for them.
And even when I was in college, I used to say that if I was some famous scientist, people would be charitable and describe me as "absent minded," but as it was, the word most likely used was "scatter-brained" . . . . though even now, I have a devil of a time convincing my husband that the reason I didn't do something was "I forgot."
And even when I was in college, I used to say that if I was some famous scientist, people would be charitable and describe me as "absent minded," but as it was, the word most likely used was "scatter-brained" . . . . though even now, I have a devil of a time convincing my husband that the reason I didn't do something was "I forgot."
All, it's okay. Really.
I didn't bring it up for attention, or pity. It's part of who I am, now.
I brought it up only because the subject came up and I'm not one for alternate facts. It happened, and we need to face that it happens. And it causes devastating effects in those it leaves behind.
My father was sick, physically. He obviously had some mental health issues as well. My mother is not a nice person. All that contributed.
In reality I don't begrudge my fathers ultimate decision. It was his decision and I don't think it is a decision that he came to lightly. I do, however, begrudge him not leaving us with answers, or even a goodbye. For a while everyone blamed each other instead of blaming him. We blamed ourselves. I was incredibly close to my father and I'm a bit morbid so we had talked about these kind of topics. I wasn't shocked that he did it but rather shocked he didn't say goodbye.
It has ripped my family apart.
My sister no longer speaks to my mother. My mother was incredibly cruel to my sister growing up. Dad protected my sister and now that he's gone she has zero reason to speak to my mother. I also no longer speak to my mother. She wasn't as cruel to me as she was my sister but I was also smart enough to figure out how to deal with her mental health stuff when I was living there to keep her calmish and to manipulate her into thinking I was on her side so I didn't bear the brunt of her cruelty. As an adult I couldn't handle her anymore or rather didn't want to. I tried for over a year because it's what dad would have wanted but I was the only one who gave. Generally speaking relationships are a give and a take. I have to admit that I got nothing out of it and I just stopped calling. My last conversation with her I told her it was her turn to call me. She hasn't. It's been since before Thanksgiving. I got a passive aggressive card in the mail 2 weeks ago but she still refuses to call me. She knows exactly what she needs to do to have a relationship with her children and yet she refuses to do so, likely so she can play victim with all her friends. Yes, she knows my number because she called and threatened to call the cops on me multiple times when dad first died (I admit I took something that she wouldn't give me - of almost no monetary value). When dad was alive if she picked up the phone she'd say hello and then here's your dad - you couldn't even get a word in. She is and was uninterested in relationships. It is so much more clear without my dad there trying so hard to patch it together.
It's amazing when one person is gone how you realize they were the glue that was holding this whole thing together.
It's been about a year and a half, now. I no longer ruminate on it. I do still miss him.
I know that's more info than you probably wanted or needed to know. When I was first told (mom called me!) I had assumed he'd died in his sleep. I was... at peace with it, maybe? Something like that. But then I was told the truth and it felt more like betrayal. It took me a long time to get over that.
I'm not sure any of this helps, but at least it might help open up the dialogue between you and your mother. The aftermath ain't pretty.
I didn't bring it up for attention, or pity. It's part of who I am, now.
I brought it up only because the subject came up and I'm not one for alternate facts. It happened, and we need to face that it happens. And it causes devastating effects in those it leaves behind.
My father was sick, physically. He obviously had some mental health issues as well. My mother is not a nice person. All that contributed.
In reality I don't begrudge my fathers ultimate decision. It was his decision and I don't think it is a decision that he came to lightly. I do, however, begrudge him not leaving us with answers, or even a goodbye. For a while everyone blamed each other instead of blaming him. We blamed ourselves. I was incredibly close to my father and I'm a bit morbid so we had talked about these kind of topics. I wasn't shocked that he did it but rather shocked he didn't say goodbye.
It has ripped my family apart.
My sister no longer speaks to my mother. My mother was incredibly cruel to my sister growing up. Dad protected my sister and now that he's gone she has zero reason to speak to my mother. I also no longer speak to my mother. She wasn't as cruel to me as she was my sister but I was also smart enough to figure out how to deal with her mental health stuff when I was living there to keep her calmish and to manipulate her into thinking I was on her side so I didn't bear the brunt of her cruelty. As an adult I couldn't handle her anymore or rather didn't want to. I tried for over a year because it's what dad would have wanted but I was the only one who gave. Generally speaking relationships are a give and a take. I have to admit that I got nothing out of it and I just stopped calling. My last conversation with her I told her it was her turn to call me. She hasn't. It's been since before Thanksgiving. I got a passive aggressive card in the mail 2 weeks ago but she still refuses to call me. She knows exactly what she needs to do to have a relationship with her children and yet she refuses to do so, likely so she can play victim with all her friends. Yes, she knows my number because she called and threatened to call the cops on me multiple times when dad first died (I admit I took something that she wouldn't give me - of almost no monetary value). When dad was alive if she picked up the phone she'd say hello and then here's your dad - you couldn't even get a word in. She is and was uninterested in relationships. It is so much more clear without my dad there trying so hard to patch it together.
It's amazing when one person is gone how you realize they were the glue that was holding this whole thing together.
It's been about a year and a half, now. I no longer ruminate on it. I do still miss him.
I know that's more info than you probably wanted or needed to know. When I was first told (mom called me!) I had assumed he'd died in his sleep. I was... at peace with it, maybe? Something like that. But then I was told the truth and it felt more like betrayal. It took me a long time to get over that.
I'm not sure any of this helps, but at least it might help open up the dialogue between you and your mother. The aftermath ain't pretty.
And to lighten things up, the woman I made the chicken quilt for crocheted me a lovely cowl for winter weather. We joked that Miss Piggy, my feisty showgirl, was jealous of it.
Today USPS delivered Miss Piggy her own package with a personalized piggy cowl. She thought it looked fabulous.
Today USPS delivered Miss Piggy her own package with a personalized piggy cowl. She thought it looked fabulous.
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