Hey! I got a "Likes" trophy yesterday. Thanks, guys!
Also a notification that it has been 8 years that BYC has lit up my screen. Time flies when you're having fun!
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Ron -- A wondrous story. Seriously, though, very few remember their threshhold experiences and in such vivid detail. The old guys most likely sent you back because you were too innocent and naive. Most likely a different scenario now, eh?

I wonder if they send old women to fetch we gals?
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Diva -- There's some mattress company that had a TV ad that stated that due to debris and mites and dander that the average mattress doubles in weight every 8 years. I had to laugh at that statistic because in that case we had about 3 tons of mattresses at Mom's house. My folks were both children of the Depression and never threw anything away if it had an nth of utility to it. I swear, those mattresses were just one decade above being stuffed with straw and moss.
(IMHO, get a new mattress. Let the remainder of your slumber years be blissful. If not feasible for a new mattress, you can get a pillow topper or gel topper. $.02)
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My garden doesn't know what it's doing. We're still having heckawinds (my term for a dessicating and relentless April weather bane of this state), so don't want to set out any transplants until sometime in May when they abate. The peas have come up, but they aren't growing for some reason. Normally they're climbing the trellises by now, but they've been small and shrubby. Cool weather crops just aren't thriving, except for the overwintered garlic which is now providing yummy scapes. My gro-light plantings -- alas -- have suffered due to inattention (so many other projects!) and so I may have to purchase peppers and eggplant seedlings this year. However, I have a nifty crop of unknown volunteer tomato plants coming up in the peas, so I'll probably transplant those over to the sauce bed. Canning surprise!
The orchard, though, is going bonkers as we had a lot of warmth early this year, so nearly every tree has oodles of fruit on it except for one very early-blooming apricot that found a frost shortly thereafter. Most of the fruit is sticking, so will have to thin it later.
So much to do... If I ever won the lottery my first indulgence would be to get garden minions!