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[OwlLover]

 

[OwlLover]

​

The silvery wolf stumbles through the forest. Blood stains the ground underneath him. He is alone and defeated; he has challenged a proud alpha for a role that was not his to play. His eyes glint, ambitious and cunning. The sky is splattered with the color of his wounds by the setting sun. "I'll have my revenge," he croons softly. "One day. Soon..." His pelt slips into the lengthening shadows.

It has been many years since the evil wolf Nox was driven from the great packs territories. Now the packs, old and new, have flourished...but one is darker than the rest. Darkpack is more than it seems. Their goal is to take over all the territories, driving away the other packs or killing them, and they might. Will you stand by your pack or join the growing darkness? Or will you be a lone wolf, and fight for yourself? Run with the pack!

This is GOOD. It's short, but very interesting. Personally, I would have changed "and they might" to "and they might succeed"; it just sounds better. I know, I'm nitpicky

But this is an example of a good introduction.

Rules:

• Nothing above mild PG-13 during fights.
• You cannot kill or cripple another person's character without their permission.
• Me and OwlLover are the only ones who can change the plot or main story of this RP. Please ask permission first!
• Your character(s) can have a mate and pups, however, nothing specific about having the pups or related things. Keep the love scenes PG (You can go a little over with battles).
• No invincible characters.
• No magic or superpowers.
• You can have as many characters as you want, but you must be able to manage all of them.
• Please, only RP wolves (No dogs, wolf/dogs, or other wolf hybrids as well).
• No instant healing. If your character has minor wounds from a battle, they should take about one day to heal (real time). A broken bone should take at least five.
• NEW PACKS: Please ask permission to start a pack. To keep the number reasonable, you MUST have more than one person in a pack. One person may operate the alpha pair, but you must have a character controlled and created by a different person following them.
• If a pack claims new territory they must challenge the existing pack first. You may NOT just say, "It belongs to them now."
• If you put down TBR (to be revealed)/TBA (to be added) as History/Personality in a form, please ACTUALLY reveal or add it later. All I'm asking for in the personality is a few words, it doesn't really need to be added in later.
• Personally, I'm not really a fan of this rule. Unless you mean RPing it out, but in that case, I think you should have worded it better.
• While fighting one blow per post. The other player decides the injury taken. (Unless the two fighting are your own characters.)
• Be realistic, a wolf can't be attacked by a whole pack and come out unhurt, and a single wolf cannot take over a whole pack solo.
• While hunting, be realistic. A single wolf cannot kill a healthy moose, catch ten rabbits, etc.
• I think you could have merged this rule and the rule above it into one. It takes up less space, and the shorter the rules list looks, the better.
• Territory must be won through battle or surrendered with the other pack's full consent.
• Characters can only dodge one out of every four blows. The rest of the time the injury taken must be AT LEAST as bad as a papercut.
• High ranks are given on a first come first serve basis. You may reserve only ONE spot at a time.
• Personally, I would like to bump it up to two, simply because someone might want to make the alpha pair for a pack, but have to leave right then. That's just me, though, but I appreciate this rule. It has bugged me in the past when one person has reserved all the good high ranking spots, and I, as well as everyone else, were "left with the scraps", haha.
• HAVE FUN!

Overall, these rules are good. I think you could have merged a few rules with the others, but other than that. These rules are very reasonable; I've seen a RP die because there was an OOC conflict about someone just saying "it belongs to them now".

Territories:

• Light green = Emeraldpack
• Dark Gray = Darkpack
• Yellow = Pinepack
• Light Blue = Stonepack
• Violet = Shared territory*
• Light brown = Stormpack
• Pink = Unclaimed territory B. **
• Orange = Beyond the territories
• Dark Blue: Rivers and Water

*Shared Territory may be eventually claimed by a pack through battle
** Parts of the Unclaimed territory can be claimed by packs but can also house new packs.

Personally, I don't like this style of map at all. It is much too confusing. I think you should have rather labelled each territory with the pack's name and such.

Pack Duties:

• Hunting: Common wolf prey has been broken down into two parts:
• Solo Prey: (Prey that can be taken down by one wolf)

* Rabbits
* Small mammals like mice, voles, and squirrels
* Fish (caught from river)
* Small birds

• Pack Prey: (Must be caught by several wolves)

* Deer
* Elk
* Moose

• Other: Got any other ideas for prey animals? If they're realistic, go ahead and catch 'em!
• Guarding Territory: The territory of the pack is the heart of it. It brings food for the pack and a place to raise a family. Territory should be defended until the only option is flee or die.
• Marking Territory: To keep things appropriate, just say, "He/She marked the pack's territory" or something along those lines. Nothing...uh...disgusting is needed.
• Protect the pack: Wolves often protect their family and friends at all costs!

This is good.

Pack Ranks:

• Alpha Male: Mate of the Alpha Female and a leader of the pack
• Alpha Female: Mate of the Alpha Male and a leader of the pack
• Beta: Second-highest ranking wolf. Will often take the alpha's place when they die, leave, or are disabled unless they are challenged by a stronger wolf.
• Packmate: All middle ranking wolves and the heartbeat of the pack.
• Omega: Lowest ranking wolf and usually driven out. Not all packs have one.
• Pups: Young wolves who do not have ranks yet. Pups are any wolves under a year old
• (Alphas and Betas can be challenged for their rank by any wolf, just please do not do it constantly)

Again, good.

Setting:

• The main setting is the taiga, a subarctic conifer forest. Most packs except for the Stonepack dwell here.

• And in the distance are the mountains, curving around the southern side of the taiga. All of the packs have some part of the mountains in their territory, but Stonepack is best fit for dwelling at their bases and peaks

• Some part of the river goes through every territory, providing fish and a good place to swim!

Joining Form:

Name:
Gender:
Age:
Pack:
Rank:
Mate:
Personality:
History:
Picture or description:
Username:

Packs:
(Packmates & Omegas not shown due to editing issues. Read the rule on ranks for reserving and claiming rules. For a complete list of characters, check out our characters page https://www.backyardchickens.com/a/run-with-the-pack-complete-restart-character-page)

~Emeraldpack~
Alpha Male ~ Falcon (iluvorpingtons)
Alpha Female ~ Thrush (iluvorpingtons)
Beta ~ West (wildriverswolf90)

~Darkpack~
Alpha Male ~ {Reserved by OwlLover}
Alpha Female ~ Isis (wildriverswolf90)
Beta ~ Timber (SilkiesForEver)

~Stonepack~
Alpha Male ~ Aki (wildriverswolf90)
Alpha Female ~ Senkah (OwlLover)
Beta ~ Nikki (OwlLover)

~Pinepack~
Alpha Male ~ Night (iluvorpingtons)
Alpha Female ~ Venus (OwlLover)
Beta ~ Dusty (OwlLover)

~Stormpack~
Alpha Male ~ Chuma (OrpieLover13)
Alpha Female ~ May (OwlLover)
Beta ~ Dawn (OwlLover)

~Loners & Lone Wolves~ Shade (wildriverswolf90), Swift (wildriverswolf90), Starling (iluvorpingtons), Sierra (SilkiesForEver), Bem (OrpieLover13), Beau (brierose3)

This is good; I like this system of showing the ranks.

Overall, this is VERY good with hardly any flaws. This is a good example of how RPs should be constructed.

 

[ChicknsRock]

Quote:

Name: Drake
Age: 3
Gender: male
Pack: cold
Rank: packmember
Mate:
Pups: none
Pic:

Username: ChicknsRock

Name: HailStorm
Age: 7
Gender: F
Pack: Blizzard
Rank: Alpha Female
Mate: SnowFur
Pups: None Yet
Pic:

Username: ChickenRadio


Name: SnowFur
Age: 7
Gender: M
Pack: Blizzard
Rank: Alpha Male
Mate: HailStorm
Pups: None Yet
Pic:

Username: ChickenRadio

Name: IceStorm
Age: 7
Gender: F
Pack: Blizzard
Rank: PackMember
Mate: Snowpaws
Pups: N/A
Pic:

Username: ChickenRadio

Name: Stonepaws
Age: 3
Gender: male
Pack: Blizzard pack
Rank: packmember
Mate: Icestorm
Pups: none
Pic:

Username: ChicknsRock

Name: Blue
Age: 1 year
Gender: Male
Pack: Snow Pack
Rank: Alpha Male
Mate: Alpha Female/Luna
Pups: are Loners
Pic:

Username: roostersandhens




Name: Blizzard
Pack: Snow
Gender: Female
Rank: Alpha Female
Age: 2 1/2 years
Mate: Alpha Male of Snow
Pups: __________
Picture:

Username: roostersandhens

Overall, this RP needs some work. You've got a start, but it needs to be developed. It is almost identical to three or four other existing Wolf RPs, and like I said, the problem with that is that the others get ignored, and it causes lots of unnecessary disappointment and hurt feelings. This could turn out to be a very nice RP, but it needs to be different from the others.

 

[iluvorpingtons]

Thanks, Owl

. I'm going to keep all this stuff in mind while I work on my next RP. The map was sort of convenient for me, but taking the time to edit in all the names made it look WAY neater. And I guess I should let people reserve a couple of ranks, assuming the roleplay I'm planning has positions as plentiful as RWTP's.

 

[ChicknsRock]

@OwlLover and @iluvorpingtons here is the new plot:
Plot
You are a wolf living in a North American wilderness. You live in a pack, either the alpha, omega, packmember, pup or beta, or you live by yourself as a loner. Living in a pack is a lot safer than living by yourself. As a wolf, you always have a risk to take. The risk of being hunted by humans, your number one predator. The risk of a fight, the risk of losing, the risk of starving. Being a wolf is a tough life, but it is also fun.
The humans are plotting to cut down the Canadian forest for buildings and houses. That means that the wolves' homes are going to be destroyed-- and they are either going to have to fight for their territory or move on.
What will you do?

 

[OwlLover]

Quote:

Name: Drake
Age: 3
Gender: male
Pack: cold
Rank: packmember
Mate:
Pups: none
Pic:

Username: ChicknsRock

Name: HailStorm
Age: 7
Gender: F
Pack: Blizzard
Rank: Alpha Female
Mate: SnowFur
Pups: None Yet
Pic:

Username: ChickenRadio


Name: SnowFur
Age: 7
Gender: M
Pack: Blizzard
Rank: Alpha Male
Mate: HailStorm
Pups: None Yet
Pic:

Username: ChickenRadio

Name: IceStorm
Age: 7
Gender: F
Pack: Blizzard
Rank: PackMember
Mate: Snowpaws
Pups: N/A
Pic:

Username: ChickenRadio

Name: Stonepaws
Age: 3
Gender: male
Pack: Blizzard pack
Rank: packmember
Mate: Icestorm
Pups: none
Pic:

Username: ChicknsRock

Name: Blue
Age: 1 year
Gender: Male
Pack: Snow Pack
Rank: Alpha Male
Mate: Alpha Female/Luna
Pups: are Loners
Pic:

Username: roostersandhens




Name: Blizzard
Pack: Snow
Gender: Female
Rank: Alpha Female
Age: 2 1/2 years
Mate: Alpha Male of Snow
Pups: __________
Picture:

Username: roostersandhens

Overall, this RP needs some work. You've got a start, but it needs to be developed. It is almost identical to three or four other existing Wolf RPs, and like I said, the problem with that is that the others get ignored, and it causes lots of unnecessary disappointment and hurt feelings. This could turn out to be a very nice RP, but it needs to be different from the others.

 

[OwlLover]

@OwlLover and @iluvorpingtons here is the new plot:
Plot
You are a wolf living in a North American wilderness. You live in a pack, either the alpha, omega, packmember, pup or beta, or you live by yourself as a loner. Living in a pack is a lot safer than living by yourself. As a wolf, you always have a risk to take. The risk of being hunted by humans, your number one predator. The risk of a fight, the risk of losing, the risk of starving. Being a wolf is a tough life, but it is also fun.
The humans are plotting to cut down the Canadian forest for buildings and houses. That means that the wolves' homes are going to be destroyed-- and they are either going to have to fight for their territory or move on.
What will you do?

Much better.

 

[ChicknsRock]

Quote: Thanks for criticing it!

 

[iluvorpingtons]

I can do another RP if anyone wants some advice.

 

[ilovemysilkie]

So you're sure your not accepting any more critics? Lol I'm just messing with you.