Mom lied about the truck. I have been hit in the face with a sledgehammer.
I went to bed when I got home, and the pain woke me up right on schedule for me to take another Vicodin. I don't know what the heck the stuck up in the hole with the bone graft, but it's extremely bitter, and the taste builds up in my mouth while I'm sleeping. I'm hoping this doesn't take long to get rid of.
The post op instructions are hilarious. I am not to drive, naturally, but I'm also not allowed to use sharp objects. (Perhaps this is to keep from hurting someone while crazed with pain?) I am also not to "participate in any activity which requires full use of your faculties for 24 hrs. after being sedated." This I guess is assuming you're going to be good for anything other than drooling when you wake up? Among other things, I'm not to spit or rinse for 24 hrs., yet I have a bottle of special mouthwash I'm supposed to use tonight before bed. I guess I'm just supposed to put it in my mouth, roll my head around, then open my mouth and let it fall out into the sink?
I also need to find a protractor to make sure my head is elevated at 30 degrees, and while I'm not allowed to use sharp objects, apparently I'll have enough mental faculties to remember to change out the cold compress on my face every other 20 minutes and also to change out the gauze every 2 hrs. or as needed, but I'm not allowed to pull my cheek to do this. It doesn't matter anyway. Apparently, the doctor thought I was Plastic Woman and pulled so hard on the side of my mouth, that it's feeling very bruised and sore, so I can barely pull on it anyway.
Going under was a breeze, except for the part where the bloodpressure cuff nearly cut my arm in two while I was still awake. They took it off and put it back on after I was out. All I remember was staring at the water sprinker on the ceiling, then asked to sit up. Mom said it took all of 45 minutes, but it only seemed like seconds. Cool. I go for my follow-up Wednesday.
Vicodin is kicking in now and my head is swimming. Nitey-nite.