Things Cats Must Try to Remember:

Discussion in 'Other Pets & Livestock' started by chickenfeathers, Aug 31, 2007.

  1. chickenfeathers

    chickenfeathers Chillin' With My Peeps

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    1. Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.


    2. I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.


    3. If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.


    4. The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly.


    5. If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.


    6. I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at nothing right after my human has finished watching "The X-Files".


    7. Television and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.


    8. No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my human's earrings are not cat toys.


    9. If I play 'dead cat on the stairs' while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.


    10. My human is capable of cooking bacon and eggs without my help.


    11. The canned cat food is already dead. I do not need to kill it by swatting bits of it all over the floor.


    12. I am a carnivore. Potted plants are not meat.


    13. I will never be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall and screaming at it will not bring it any closer.


    14. It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it all dissolves in the boiling coffee.


    15. The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain in its bowl.


    16. If my human wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a piece. She will notice if I start eating it from the other end.


    17. I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside.


    18. The large dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will not freak out every time I see it.


    19. I am a neutered cat, not a peacock, and prancing around with my tail fluffed up will not make my parts grow back.


    20. If I must give a present to my humans's overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a live cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty.

    --
    Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

    -Robert A. Heinlein
     
  2. Frozen Feathers

    Frozen Feathers Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 4, 2007
    Maine
    Very sweet. [​IMG] Thanks for sharing. Love the quote at the end.
     
  3. chicknmania

    chicknmania Overrun With Chickens Premium Member

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    Will print and post on my refrigerator. We can all relate!
     
  4. carterd757

    carterd757 Out Of The Brooder

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    I love it!
    especially since it is a quote from my all time favorite author R.A.H.[​IMG]
     
  5. silkhope

    silkhope Chillin' With My Peeps

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    OMG, #6 cracked me up!!! Thanks for sharing!
     
  6. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

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    LOL! That's so funny and so TRUE!
     
  7. silkiechicken

    silkiechicken Staff PhD Premium Member

    Hahaha, that is hilarious!!!
     
  8. MarkR

    MarkR Chillin' With My Peeps

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    that's great!!! [​IMG]

    I'm going to have to steal that Heinlein quote though.

    Mark
     
  9. chickenfeathers

    chickenfeathers Chillin' With My Peeps

    Quote:Be my guest! [​IMG]
     
  10. GoodEgg

    GoodEgg Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Hey, chickenfeathers, this is GREAT! LOL, I loved these. Now if I can just convice our kitten of numbers 4, 11, 16, and sometimes a few others ...

    trish
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2007

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