Things We Learn From Our Kids
There is no such thing as child-proofing your house
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape
It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
Your fire department in has at least a 5 minute response time.
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old Duplos will not.
No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jello.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
You never want to hear, "Watch me fly!" coming from the roof.
Under the bed is not a good place to save snowballs for summer.
Bugs are not a dietary supplement.
Walnuts make the blender act funny.
Collecting things is good. Collecting things that come out of your nose is not.
If you hear the words, "Guess what's in my mouth." You REALLY don't want to know!
Most toilets can not consume an entire roll of toilet paper without choking.
Hiding parts of daddy's computer can make your butt hurt.
Fish can not use a remote control, even if placed in their tank.
Setting the hamsters free changes the cat's mood.
Cats do not like to be wrapped in duct tape.
Cats get even.
There is no such thing as child-proofing your house
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape
It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
Your fire department in has at least a 5 minute response time.
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old Duplos will not.
No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jello.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
You never want to hear, "Watch me fly!" coming from the roof.
Under the bed is not a good place to save snowballs for summer.
Bugs are not a dietary supplement.
Walnuts make the blender act funny.
Collecting things is good. Collecting things that come out of your nose is not.
If you hear the words, "Guess what's in my mouth." You REALLY don't want to know!
Most toilets can not consume an entire roll of toilet paper without choking.
Hiding parts of daddy's computer can make your butt hurt.
Fish can not use a remote control, even if placed in their tank.
Setting the hamsters free changes the cat's mood.
Cats do not like to be wrapped in duct tape.
Cats get even.
