Things you wish you could say

[BigBlueHen53]

That's the thing. His parents have known about his asperger's since he was very young. He is capable of learning habits, but they would let him do nothing but sit around watching TV, YouTube and contribute nothing because it was too much effort to teach him.

Believe me, I spend a lot of time listening to him to understand how he thinks. He does think differently, but he is capable of learning. It's just much harder to do now that he's 23 instead of 3. It has become my job to turn him into a functioning adult. In a lot of ways I'm a lot more patient with him than his parents because I will listen to him, I don't cut off his explanations, and I will explain why he needs to do things and I will patiently wait for him to do the task rather than jump in and do it for him when he's slow because he gets distracted by some aspect of it.

Edit: I do care about the kid, so do his parents. They're just busy trying to make a living like the rest of us. I just come here to vent my frustrations.

Bee, thank you for this. Many a child has been handicapped, not by a condition, but by their parents' low expectations of them, and their failure to find out how to help their child succeed. My GS is on the spectrum and also has ADHD. When he first came to stay with us, I was at a total loss. I had no idea why he behaved as he did. Then the school asked if they could test him. For what? I asked. For autism, they said. Ohhhhhh! The light came on. It was a challenge but at least then I knew what we were dealing with. He's brilliant in some ways and (pardon me ) dumb as a box of rocks in others. Figuring out how to make the world make sense to him .... yeah, it's not always been easy. It's like trying to teach a fish how to live in a world of squirrels. But he just graduated high school and ... I think he's going to be okay.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Ooh, I wanted to say some smart things to the person with the egg-laying rooster, but ... my wisdom got the better of me this time.

Good!!!!!!

 

[HorseGirlAbby]

My friend who’s had cancer for years didn’t just get told it’s terminal.

 

[BigBlueHen53]

My friend who’s had cancer for years didn’t just get told it’s terminal.

So sorry, Abby.

 

[Buckeye Amy]

Not quite, I wish I could say it was 20 and snowing

Although 75 would be a nice improvement over near 100

I keep watching documentaries that were filmed in the Antarctic, wishing I was there!

 

[Nabiki]

Bee, thank you for this. Many a child has been handicapped, not by a condition, but by their parents' low expectations of them, and their failure to find out how to help their child succeed. My GS is on the spectrum and also has ADHD. When he first came to stay with us, I was at a total loss. I had no idea why he behaved as he did. Then the school asked if they could test him. For what? I asked. For autism, they said. Ohhhhhh! The light came on. It was a challenge but at least then I knew what we were dealing with. He's brilliant in some ways and (pardon me ) dumb as a box of rocks in others. Figuring out how to make the world make sense to him .... yeah, it's not always been easy. It's like trying to teach a fish how to live in a world of squirrels. But he just graduated high school and ... I think he's going to be okay.

Thanks. My experience in teaching has been in adult education (college), so I've been teaching him that actions have consequences. I know that he doesn't get social cues. I've told him that he doesn't have to, but he does need to memorize certain rules. Those rules may be different for different people or places. Things like, you can lick your plate at home (his parents let him), but you don't lick your plate anywhere else.

 

[BigBlueHen53]

Thanks. My experience in teaching has been in adult education (college), so I've been teaching him that actions have consequences. I know that he doesn't get social cues. I've told him that he doesn't have to, but he does need to memorize certain rules. Those rules may be different for different people or places. Things like, you can lick your plate at home (his parents let him), but you don't lick your plate anywhere else.

Oh good grief. They just made it so much harder for him, didn't they. Kids like him need consistency. Well truly, all kids do, but especially kids on the spectrum. The world is so confusing for them already. Sounds like they didn't do him any favors.

 

[Nabiki]

Oh good grief. They just made it so much harder for him, didn't they. Kids like him need consistency. Well truly, all kids do, but especially kids on the spectrum. The world is so confusing for them already. Sounds like they didn't do him any favors.

They didn't know. His mom is understanding now that she did him no favours, but she doesn't have the patience to keep correcting him until he gets it right. I get frustrated too, but I understand that if I take a task away from him just because I can do it better means he'll never learn it.

I had to fight with him tooth and nail this week to get him to write down all of the parts of taking care of the quail (that's his hands on work task for now). I was every bit as stubborn, and when he finally did it, he figured out ways to streamline how he was doing it, understood better what he was doing, and understood how to check that he had done everything on the list when he thought he was done.

It can be a battle, but I have faith in turning him into a reasonably functioning adult. He was very happy when I praised his checklist (once he actually stopped fighting and did it, he did a decent job). Sometimes I may be too hard on him, but I do make sure to tell him when he's doing well.

 

[notabitail]

Probably some tech nerd kid.

NOT ME I PROMISE.

 

[TOMTE]

NOT ME I PROMISE.