Things you wish you could say

[Nabiki]

Trying to forgive a sibling for their lies to the other family members & causing the other family to question “our honesty”…. Then causing us to be “thrown under the family bus” so they can score the grandparents hose on the lake for themselves….

5+ years ago now.

relationship with the rest of the family has been fixed solidly over the last 3 years….

The sibling and their Wedded other half still have no inclination to apologize or show honesty towards their actions.

I have tried several times to start the healing and *forgiving them* - they show no signs of effort for rekindling anything…..

/that’s as generic as I dare get.

Forgiveness isn't about them. It's for you. You don't have to have a good relationship with them in order to forgive them. Letting go of the bitterness is enough, and enough of a challenge on its own.

 

[R2elk]

Common courtesy and common sense have both fallen by the wayside.

In some cases they never existed.

 

[sourland]

Might not be a bad thing for you. If you have tried and they haven't, might be better to let them go. My husband's parents are terrible people but I tried to get along with them for years. Have you ever seen the show "Everybody Loves Raymond"? My mother in law made Marie look like a saint. Anyways, one day I was done. Done with the lying, done with the underhanded back stabbing, done with them. So I told them exactly how I felt. Afterwards, I felt a huge weight come off my shoulders and I haven't seen or spoken to them since. Best thing I ever did for myself and my family. I will not have poison people in my life. Good luck to you

I had to do the same thing with a toxic sibling. I simply walked away as she was dropping 'F' bombs and making 'lawyer' threats. I have no animosity, but to me she no longer exists. I sort of feel that you can't lose what you never really had, and DNA does not guarantee love.

 

[R2elk]

I had to do the same thing with a toxic sibling. I simply walked away as she was dropping 'F' bombs and making 'lawyer' threats. I have no animosity, but to me she no longer exists. I sort of feel that you can't lose what you never really had, and DNA does not guarantee love.

Other than your spouse, you do not get to choose your relatives.

 

[Isadora]

Other than your spouse, you do not get to choose your relatives.

Thank God we get to choose our spouses.

 

[sourland]

Other than your spouse, you do not get to choose your relatives.

"Friends are the family we make for ourselves."

 

[R2elk]

Thank God we get to choose our spouses.

Wasn't always that way.

 

[Isadora]

Wasn't always that way.

Still not, in some parts of the world.

 

[Brooks_]

Wasn't always that way.

I'm kinda thinking that was part of the comment.

 

[tripletfeb]

I had to do the same thing with a toxic sibling. I simply walked away as she was dropping 'F' bombs and making 'lawyer' threats. I have no animosity, but to me she no longer exists. I sort of feel that you can't lose what you never really had, and DNA does not guarantee love.

So true. My mom thinks it's a shame that my son only has one set of grandparents(my parents). I told her it's not a shame at all. Staying in touch with the inlaws would have been a shame, a damn damn shame