Things you wish you could say

It takes self-control, maturity and creativity to express oneself without resorting to vulgarity. One of my favorite examples of this was recorded in an old issue of Reader's Digest, if I recall correctly, which claimed to have quoted the following from a classified ad in another publication:

TO the person who stole my boat: May it spring a thousand leaks as you go barrelling down the local rapids and your mother be unable to attract attention from people watching as she runs barking along the shore.

To me, that's just artistry.
 

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