Couldn't write before, but you are good at painting pictures with words! I am still chuckling at the thought of it!
Yesterday, I threw up my hands (as far as my shoulder would let me) and went to Home Depot for more of those **** fence staples. While there I looked at the staple guns and caved in to a Ryobi cordless crown stapler. You now have to buy everything piece meal, but this was less than one using a compressor, and there wasn't one that was corded. I got the compact battery because of weight.
The things works like a charm. I finished the upper 4 sections in an hour! It was tricky until I figured out where the staple would fire, and they are 1/4 inch wide. They are not galvanized, so my DH is going to hammer in the fence staples every 8" or so.
Today, we start the left side. 3 postholes and various horizontals. Of course I am hoping that he doesn't get any freelance work until we are done, and he is hoping that he gets a lot immediately to pay for all of this!