This is Going to be Awkward...*Kicked Out*

[gritsar]

Quote:
You don't have to call her mom. My stepdaughters call me Kat. The grandson calls me Mamaw, but that was his choice.
Kinda funny I found out that since he started calling me Mamaw, the girls mom has insisted that he start calling her Nanny instead of Mamaw. Talk about petty.

My eldest stepdaughter did send me a mother's day card this year. It was a card for a "good friend on mother's day", not a "mom". I treasure it.

 

[claud]

You don't have to call her mom. I just call my stepmother by her first name.

My mother died when I was 11 yrs old. My father remarried when I was 16 and had a public auction and sold everything in our house(and the house too) - including all childhood toys and heirlooms. For years I moved around with different relatives and I can certainly understand what you mean by not being able to go "home".

Now that I am nearly 40 yrs old and have lived in the same house for 10+ yrs it does feel like home. And I am sure if I moved the new place would feel like home too. It's just a building you make your home in. I don't have a "childhood" home to go to though like many people do.

 

[Kelly G]

Quote:
I am a step-mom with two daughters. I love them - they love me (mostly

). I am not their mom - they call me Kelly. Over the years, we have worked out our own relationship. Their mom behaves more like their friend, so I have taken on more of a parental role. But we have lots of fun, talks, arguments - all the normal stuf of family life.

No matter how good I am, no matter how much they love me, I'm not Mom - but we've got something good for all of us.


This was our Christmas card for last year...it tells a lot, I think, about our family -

In her heart of hearts, she probably doesn't want to be your mom - just your friend. We all have our insecurities, and she just probably would like your acceptance of her.

 

[ThePamperedPullet]

As the saying goes "Anyone can be called Mother, but it takes someone special to be a MOM". Your mom tragically passed away and there is no one that can take her place. Barbie can be a mother but she will never be your mom. Give her a chance to be your friend most of all. You might be suprised at the relationship that can be built between you and her if you can open your heart and let her in. Being a stepparent is a really really tough job. Don't envy her for the position that she is in.

 

[rodriguezpoultry]

Well, this weekend was just awful.

My boyfriend's family celebrated his birthday. When I was sick, I didn't get a birthday party...heck...I still wanted to drop. My dad texted me to tell me "happy birthday". No phone call...

This weekend I called my dad and was informed:
"Yeah, I'm going to be moving all of your stuff to storage since you're never there anymore." (Neglected to tell him that I'm surprised the place hasn't been condemned.) He said "Your brother is going to be having people moving in, so you're stuff has got to go." So my entire room, the room my mom fixed up for me my sophomore year in college is being dismantled.

My brother is also doing drugs, at least, it smells like he is, he is having random girls over spending the night, the place is falling apart and smells AWFUL. You walk in and dust is everywhere.

My bf's family has decided to let me stay at their place when we come back as long as I help out. It's just frustrating that I sort of get kicked out of the house that I've been in since I was born. I mean, I remember my mom falling through the ceiling for gosh sakes!

Anyway, when I said that to Dad, he said that I just needed to get over it.

I mean...what else can I do ya know?


Sorry, it's just frustrating.



****** I have ZERO issues with Barbie. She is a very good friend and is a good partner for my dad. It's was just kind of weird realizing that she was now married to my dad. I do love her, just in a different way. As a friend. *****

 

[BorderKelpie]

I am sorry you feel kicked out. Sounds like that may be the best thing that happens for you right now. Make your own home (as soon as you're able), and just make the best of the situation you're in now. Use this as a learning/growing experience and realize that this will make you a better, stronger person. And, until you're a stronger person, here's a hug to carry you a bit.

Hang in there, you're going to be ok.

 

[Msbear]

The thing is women are much more sentimental about things than men. It's a very basic make-up that's is hard to deal with from a daughters prospective. My dad did the exact same thing. I was told over and over while growing up that the farm would one day be mine to raise my children and that I could hand that down to my kids to raise their children and so on. Then, after finding someone new, he's disconnected somewhat the bond he had with me as his daughter. He is now going to sell the farm and move in find a new home with his new wife... and probably her children (who are 18 and 20) He now has a new responsibility... with men that's what a family is... it's an obligation to protect and support. He feels you are being protected and supported by your boyfriend and, therefore, no longer need him. MEN NEED IT SPELLED OUT!!

Talk with him and explain how you feel. That you cannot just get over it... it may take many more years and that you need him still. He may understand if you beat him over the head with it... or may still feel distanced. I never went that far with my dad as there were too many hard feelings and I just felt it wasn't worth it. I have a great husband and children of my own and learned from him... what not to do.

The people that are moving in, are they paying rent? maybe he needs help with paying the mortgage. Is your brother younger than you.. maybe that's why he's still there. Maybe your dad still feels the obligation toward your brother as he still doesn't have it together.

That is still the dynamic in my family.. unfortunately. My brother doesn't have it together so he gets helped out financially, always has a place to stay with my dad, etc. I rarely get any help and would never even ask to stay with him... as it would just feel uncomfortable.

Im really sorry this happened ...all of it. Every woman should have their mother to turn to. Women hold the family together. Maybe you'll have to be that woman. ...if you want to. That doesn't mean under the same roof but it can mean dinners together, summer cookouts, maybe a vacation... Your family is going through a big change right now and it's scarey that it's going to be so different than what you've been used to. Maybe talk with Barbie. My dad's girlfriend would do anything for me. She's nice but she wants to be in my good graces and is concerned with how I feel because she's a woman!!

I can use her sometimes to communicate with my father and she can get the point through.

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:
Well said!

 

[Katy]

I realize your room is special since your mom fixed it up for you. But in reality you can't expect your room to stay exactly the same now that you're grown and out on your own. I expected my kids to take their stuff with them when they moved out...either that or at least pack it up so it could be stored away for them until they had room of their own to store it. That doesn't mean they don't have a place to stay here if they need it, but "their rooms" from childhood are not there waiting for them exactly as they were. If you and Barbie get along well I would think she'd be happy to have you stay with your dad and her when you come to town to visit. When I moved out my mom expected me to take my stuff with me....I didn't feel "kicked out"....just growing up and moving on with my life.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
Mostly I agree, but this is not a room her mom decorated years and years ago when she was a kid--from the timing, it sounds like something she did not long before she died. Maybe three years ago?

I don't know about how much space is available where your dad & Barbie live, but if there is a spare bedroom, you might want to ask if you can put your things there. Or perhaps you can take much of it back to your apartment and put it up there. Be sure to take lots of photos of it before it is dismantled.

As for your brother and the house, you need to be very frank about your concerns to your dad. It sounds like your brother needs help/intervention, and it sounds like whatever value the house has may be rapidly disappearing. I assume your dad owns it. If only for financial reasons, he needs to become more involved. Perhaps get it cleaned up and formally rented, which would preserve its condition and value.