Those abominable bragging Christmas letters !

Dear Loving families, friends, strangers, and the strange.
Hope everyone is doing well. We are still at two children, since the tubes were tied after the last.
Alyssa is doing great in school, learning to read and write, and correcting her teacher every step of the way. She's still in speech, but what do you expect for having a southern mom and yankee dad, you can only understand half of what she says depending on what part of the country you're from.
Caydence had a rock stuck up her nose today, says she was doing a magic trick and the rock went up too far. One good blow got it out though, so no hard boogers for a few days.
Jim's doing good for a crippled man chasing chickens.
I've learned to cook finally without depending on the smoke alarm telling me it's ready to come out of the oven. wuhoo score one for the cookbook telling me to check the time not the amount of coughs from the living room.
The dog was stolen this year, we've killed four frogs. So of course we added more chickens to our yard. Boy don't they make the outhouse look more normal.
We planted flowers in the bathtub and started using that new attachment on the garden hose. It's like a shower now. We finally put the car up on those cement blocks, so the guineas can weed-eat underneath. They really thank us for the simple things.
Happy Holidays,
Love,
Us
 
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I talk about my chickens and brag about them more than my kids. I don't think people want to hear it either. I swear, if I wrote a christmas letter it would be all about the chickens, their eggs, and and a picture of the coop covered in snow. I think I have a problem. Must stop.
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Dear friends, family, and distant relatives that I haven't seen since I was two.


Still surviving the twins. Barely. We are filled with absolute Joy at them repeatedly dipping their heads in the mud puddle in front of our house before school, and their beautiful "drawings" into the wet plaster that we are trying to texture our walls with. We are so proud of their early desire to potty train. At 2, they MUST know that they need to go to the bathroom when they take their diapers off to pee on the floor, and then run away into the other room wildly laughing.

Our oldest has not burned out his teacher this year-yet.

Our daughter has picked up a wonderful new colorful vocabulary! I wish to thank those occasional sailors stationed here in this landlocked state for their contribution to our daughters exceptional communication skills.

Our cats are getting along swimmingly! They have discovered their new toys, and I am happy to say that we are running out of sheets to cover the windows, due to having no working mini blinds left. Anything for the darlings!

The husband and I decided to involve ourselves in a marriage workshop and it has really refreshed our eyes anew to the amazing uniqueness that each one of us possess. The workshop is called "build a chicken coop, build your marriage....hopefully." It has worked wonders for our communication skills, much like the crucible in Marine Corp boot camp. Throw together two sleep deprived, sore and cranky people, and force them to build an indestructible fort to keep out the enemies, with little or no resources, materials that you wouldn't under normal circumstances use because in a perfect world there would be more efficient ones available, and force them to sink or swim.

We recommend the wonderful experience to anyone wishing to enrich their marriage.

Well folks I had better let you all get to your holiday excitement. In other words, our kids are next to the cat drinking the tree water.

Love to you all!
 
I love you all! I had to go fix my contacts because I have laughed so hard, I am crying and my contacts are floating around!!

I would LOVE to get a Christmas letter like the ones you have posted.. I too hate the Brag letters..

Thanks for the laugh..Dixie
 
Everyone around me rolls thier eyes and shrugs at me during picture view time on my phone. There are more pics of my birds then of my kids. Well it's not my problem that the only time I can get the kids in the pic is if they are holding one of the birds.
 

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