Toddler parents-or those that have survived toddler age - sleep help!?

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by booker81, Oct 12, 2010.

  1. booker81

    booker81 Redneck Tech Girl

    Apr 18, 2010
    O wise ones....

    I'm running on night two of barely any sleep. The reason for my sleeplessness is about 40" tall, and weighs only 30lbs. She's cute, sweet, listens well, is funny, and has been just a wonderful little girl to raise.

    Until two nights ago.

    We never coslept, when she was a baby, she slept in a carseat (reflux) until she could sleep on her back in her crib. When she was too big for her crib (and it got recalled0 she happily transitioned to a toddler bed. I've always felt lucky to have such a great sleeper.

    Until two nights ago.

    First night we were startled awake to her wailing. I don't remember who went in, me or hubby, and consoled her. Every time we would leave, she'd scream. We took turns consoling, but when we'd leave, she'd start wailing. We tried "cry it out" for about 15 minutes (at about 2am). Finally hubby went in, asked what she wanted, and she that time said "I want to sleep with mommy". So she ran and jumped in bed, hubby got in bed, and we somewhat slept, him with toddler head on his shoulder, me with little heels digging into my back.

    Next night, she doesn't want to go to bed. Same situation. Take turns, try letting her cry, and after 10 mnutes she gets to where she's gagging from crying. She can and will throw up from crying. Not wanting to deal with puke on top of no sleep, I go in with a book, lay on the floor, and read until she sleeps. She's happy with my next to her.

    Until about midnight. Wailing. I go in and lay on the floor. After an hour, hubby wakes me and tells me to just get in bed and let her come with. This time she doesn't sleep in one uncomfortable position so we can just fall asleep once we are used to it, she tosses and turns, flips around, does the crazy bed acrobatics while "sleeping" that only a toddler does apparently. At one point she put her heel in my eye.

    Hubby has now put an air mattress in the bedroom. To me, his sleep is more important due to the danger of his job, I want him well rested so he doesn't kill himself or someone else. I do need to be rested for the technical nature of my job (IT). Tonight the plan is to put her in her room, if I need to read in there again, then I will read there until she sleeps. I will then go to bed with hubby. If she decides to get up, I will go and sleep on the air mattress. If she decides she needs to be in bed with us, I will sleep in our bed with her, and hubby will go to the air mattress.

    If you've gotten this far, congrats. I'm exhausted. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this other than to just post. I've already been told to let her cry and scream and puke until she falls asleep, and I can tell you right here and now, I will not take that route - I'm sure it's dandy for other people, but I have no interest in seeing how little sleep I can get while laying in bed, feeling miserable because my kid is so upset. She rarely ever tests us for anything, and when she does, she rarely pushes it for long. She seems happy and healthy otherwise, eating fine, playing fine, no other weirdness.

    So, if you have/had a toddler, what alternate ways did you get through this apparent sudden inability to sleep alone? She doesn't speak well enough yet for me to tell if she's having bad dreams or is lonely or scared.

    All I want is sleep. In my bed, in her room, with her, without her. Just sleep.
  2. muddyhorse

    muddyhorse Songster

    Aug 11, 2009
    Bloomsdale, MO
    did anything out of the ordinary happen two days ago. we went through something similar when the firemen visited school kaylee was terrified the house was going to burn. did she see something on TV that could have set her off ? what is her bed routine brush teeth, jammy, story ect. a solid routine helps a lot. I know you are running on fumes but try not to be anxious she may pick up on that. maybe give her a flashlight and some picture books if she wakes up. I'm sure lots of people will have some advice for you
  3. Robin'sBrood

    Robin'sBrood Flock Mistress

    May 8, 2008
    North Carolina
    [​IMG] I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh, but your descriptions, especially the "her heel in my eye" are hilarious.

    I had one that went through a stage of not wanting to sleep in his room alone. He used to get in bed with us and when we started refusing to allow him to continue that I used to wake up and find him on the floor beside our bed. Good thing I never got up to go to the bathroom and stepped on him! I don't know what advice to give you, mine finally outgrew it.

    Best wishes on getting some much desired sleep tonight!
  4. Wendy'sChicksRock

    Wendy'sChicksRock Songster

    Aug 8, 2010
    Oakland county ,MI
    Sometimes kids just go thru things like this. She will go back to her normal sleeping habbits soon. The best advise I can give is to either put a full size bed in her room, I did something like this I put a full size matress on the floor and put the toddler bed on that, the kids love it and then IF we ever run into this type of thing I can sleep in there so hubby can get his much needed rest. The full mattress is a great way to keep them safe if they roll out of bed and comes in handy if the kids are not feeling well and I feel better being able to sleep with them. Hope this helps some. Or just put the air mattress in her room for now.
  5. booker81

    booker81 Redneck Tech Girl

    Apr 18, 2010
    Can't think of anything different....I think I forgot to put she will be three in January?

    Hubby is in with her now, which means he is granting me the first sleep of the night. I better get to bed!

    I think the dog might be upset to lose her bed on the floor next to me, but if that's what it takes, she can share the sheepskin rug. The dog won't care that much I suppose, she'll just decamp for the couch.

    Children are such.....trying creatures! So smart! So! mystifying!

    Of course, I love her to bits. I can't imagine life with out her...other than maybe once upon a time sleeping past 7am. Well, I can't even remember what life was like then. I'm too tired [​IMG]

  6. Mrs. Turbo

    Mrs. Turbo Songster

    Jan 26, 2009
    we go through that with each kid..... we learned to just put them back to bed. Once they start sleeping in your bed or you in theirs it is hard to break.
    She might just be testing the waters now that she is older...or she might be scared of a monster in the closet. I would find out.
  7. Ema

    Ema Songster

    Jun 4, 2010
    N. Ontario CANADA
    I went through this with my 2 youngest, my little girl slept in her room all the time and then suddenly she began waking int he night crying and refusing to stay in her room. not wanting to get her to sleep in our bed we would bring her to the living room put on tree house on super low and allow her to fall asleep and then take her back to her room but hours later she would wake again.

    We did this for several weeks and eventually I concluded there was no way she would easily go back to her room. I spoke with my husband and the next day her room was suddenly ours and she was in our room. She was fine after that!!! She too was too young to tell us what was wrong.

    Eventually we switched her back and it all went good but we lost our room again because well she has TOO much stuff and it didn't fit in her room so she got the master room, lol,

    fast forward 6 years, our son was just over 1 yr. old and he began waking int he night screaming, not crying screaming, that scared me to death the first few nights, we tried the couch, tree house then back to bed thing, but it didn't work with him, the minute he went right back into his bed he would wake up and cry for hours and then he would fight sleep for fear we would put him back in his room once he fell asleep. My husband who works construction said well enough of this, its obvious something is frightening him and we can't get a wink of sleep, so we did what every other parent out there would cringe at hearing. we pushed our bed to the end of the wall and put his crib in there next to our bed on my side. He never had issues after that. We put all the dressers etc, in his room and he is still in our bedroom he is 2.5 yrs old now, and shortly after him coming to our room we turned his crib to the toddler bed. We are now just waiting on his to comprehend a bit more before we redecorate his room to Woody, buzz and maybe some trains and transition him to his very own room again. My daughter is 7 now loves her room but still needs a night light. My son recently began being afraid of the dark too, at the same age as my daughter was so now he too needs a night light.

    there are no clear cut solutions just comprises we made, not everything works for everyone, and not everyone will agree with the way I did things, but at least we now sleep through the night and my children unless I wake them they could sleep till noon, they are huge sleepers, I sadly wake up every single day no matter what at 630am, kinda sucks hope you find a solution. I just wanted to tell you how we dealt with it.
  8. Sonoran Silkies

    Sonoran Silkies Flock Mistress

    Jan 4, 2009
    Tempe, Arizona
    Something happened to set her off. You can gently probe her with questions about why she wants to sleep with y'all and not by herself. Also ask if there is anything that would make her feel better about sleeping in her own bed. I would guess that she is scared about something. She may be having scary dreams or be worried about something.

    One thing that is not especiallly sleep related, but ANYTHING related is to not make a huge deal about it--that can give a behavior a life of its own.

    At bedtime tell her she must at least start out the night in her own room; but if she wakes in the night and wants you, she may get up and come in to your room, and she can finish her sleep there (tell her and show her specifically where she can come). Let her know that this is for after you and daddy are in bed, not earlier (and of course if she does wake earlier, she can come to where ever y'all spend the evening for a bit more cuddling). Put the onus on her to come to you if she needs to rather than making y'all come to her. That way she is relying on her own sense of need and also is less likely to disturb your sleep.
  9. CityGirlintheCountry

    CityGirlintheCountry Green Eggs and Hamlet

    Jul 7, 2007
    Middle TN
    Monster spray and a flashlight. And maybe a dog. [​IMG]
  10. sonew123

    sonew123 Poultry Snuggie

    Mar 16, 2009
    onchiota NY
    Mrs. Turbo :

    we go through that with each kid..... we learned to just put them back to bed. Once they start sleeping in your bed or you in theirs it is hard to break.
    She might just be testing the waters now that she is older...or she might be scared of a monster in the closet. I would find out.

    [​IMG] I was strict ffrom day one mOms bed was MOMS BED ONLY! only sick chicldren with high documented fevers are allowed in my bed-stick your guns-let them scream it out all the way-it stinks DO NOT STAY IN THER WITH THEM WHILE THEY ARE TRYIG TO GO TO SLEEP! YOUR MAKING IT WORSE FOR ALL OF YOU and IT will take time but by the time the 3rd or 4rth night they will be staying asleep becasue they figure why get up when they dont "get anywhere" with mom and dad...Im hard on them but they all knew I loved them-​
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2010

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