- Thread starter
- #761
Toddlers are Quackers
- Thread starter BullChick
- Start date
Are you sure?
- Thread starter
- #764
Wait.... I missed a forking?
And a dangerous one it was.
I mean if you don't really want to know then I won't tell you but if you do then I will.
- Thread starter
- #767
Oops yea, I was showing Banti what friends are for... enabling.
But I hate to miss a good forking!
Um.. well... no comment
So tell us about the flying butter knife already!
It even involves a small child so it will fit right in.
On a warm, sunny summer day many moons ago (I don't remember how many) I was tasked with the job of painting a picket fence. This picket fence belonged to some friends of ours and they offered me money to paint it........I said yes. At the time these people were home and had two rugrats of there own, both not very old.........well maybe 6ish or so for the oldest not very old little person. As I gather my supplies and head outside to do the job I was contracted for I had no idea of the pain and suffering I would endure that day.
I commence my work and ignore my surroundings. I am working with my back towards the living quarters and after painting about half the fence I turn around and notice a small child. Now this is no ordinary small child. This is one of those small children that has a problem. Her problem is this, she doesn't listen. It's a common problem among small children. In this little persons little hand is a weapon. I know what you're thinking. Maybe she's holding a chainsaw or a samurai sword. Nope, she's holding a butter knife. Now this is no ordinary butter knife. This butter knife is made out of stainless steel and made in China.
I ask the little person a question. She doesn't answer. Just kind of stands there and looks at me. I mentioned earlier this child has a problem. I'm about to find out what her problem is. Acting upon impulse the devil child acts like she wants to strike me with her weapon of choice. I promptly tell her not to do it. She listens.......or at least I think she listens because she starts to turn away. Thinking that I have defeated the little person I turn my back on her and return to the task at hand. Big mistake on my part. I learned a valuable lesson that day, never turn your back on the enemy when they are still standing.
As I commence my work again I feel something. Now this is no ordinary something that I feel. I feel the sharp pain of stainless steel filleting my scalp open. As I react in pain I turn around and reach up to my scalp. I see the devil child standing there looking innocent. The only problem being that her weapon of choice is laying on the ground at my feet. I pull my hand away from my scalp and react in horror at the site of my own blood staining my flesh. My question of "Why did you do that?" goes unanswered as the devil child makes a break for it. As I follow the little person towards the living quarters the pain sets in. Upon arriving I am greeted by the devil childs mother. As I ask for a rag to press against my bleeding scalp I recount the days events to a horrified parent.
Devil child was disciplined, the fence was painted and I made extra money......and even got a cool scar.
I commence my work and ignore my surroundings. I am working with my back towards the living quarters and after painting about half the fence I turn around and notice a small child. Now this is no ordinary small child. This is one of those small children that has a problem. Her problem is this, she doesn't listen. It's a common problem among small children. In this little persons little hand is a weapon. I know what you're thinking. Maybe she's holding a chainsaw or a samurai sword. Nope, she's holding a butter knife. Now this is no ordinary butter knife. This butter knife is made out of stainless steel and made in China.
I ask the little person a question. She doesn't answer. Just kind of stands there and looks at me. I mentioned earlier this child has a problem. I'm about to find out what her problem is. Acting upon impulse the devil child acts like she wants to strike me with her weapon of choice. I promptly tell her not to do it. She listens.......or at least I think she listens because she starts to turn away. Thinking that I have defeated the little person I turn my back on her and return to the task at hand. Big mistake on my part. I learned a valuable lesson that day, never turn your back on the enemy when they are still standing.
As I commence my work again I feel something. Now this is no ordinary something that I feel. I feel the sharp pain of stainless steel filleting my scalp open. As I react in pain I turn around and reach up to my scalp. I see the devil child standing there looking innocent. The only problem being that her weapon of choice is laying on the ground at my feet. I pull my hand away from my scalp and react in horror at the site of my own blood staining my flesh. My question of "Why did you do that?" goes unanswered as the devil child makes a break for it. As I follow the little person towards the living quarters the pain sets in. Upon arriving I am greeted by the devil childs mother. As I ask for a rag to press against my bleeding scalp I recount the days events to a horrified parent.
Devil child was disciplined, the fence was painted and I made extra money......and even got a cool scar.
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