Too mature for my age?/tired of being friendless

[seminolewind]

Don't worry so much about age, you might be happier with friends who are at your "maturity" age, and be happier with people that have the same interests as you.

 

[pdsavage]

I think its a Missouri thing cause all the people I know to have a goodtime means to drink ALOT...Im 39 and thats all they seam to do around these parts is hang out at the bar...

 

[Camelot Farms]

Hey Marebear... look for a MOPS in your area. Mothers Of Pre Schoolers. This includes even babies in some areas.
Also, check your local Cooperative Extension for groups and browse your local swapsheet/pennysaver for others.

Heck, start your own!!

Believe me....you arent alone.

(((hugs)))

 

[michickenwrangler]

I've been there Marebear. I have a hard time getting along with other women unless farm animals or vegetable gardening are involved. I have no common ground with them: getting hair done, buying cappuccinos, manicures, pedicures, Dancing With the Stars, most other TV programming, so I don't have many friends and the ones that I do have are all boarders at my barn, 2 outside of it, but they have goats and horses too. I didn't go to college right away, I moved out and lived on my own and bought a horse and worked 2 jobs to afford her. When I did go to college at the age of 21, I felt older than the others but since I had a horse and my boyfriend (now my husband) and just moved in together so I wasn't able to do the whole partying scene and had to help him with the mortgage. I never made any real friends in college either.

In the meantime, do what makes you happy as much as you can with a baby. I know an online community isn't a replacement for live friends, but we're here for you

BTW: my husband is 20 yrs older than I, and most of my friends are from 32-55 yrs of age. I'm only 29.

 

[augustmomx2]

That's hard

You are at a completely different stage of your life, than most 21 yo...even most 31yo

I'm 33 and had a close friend who went thru the same thing as you are. She worked outside of the home, mortgage, baby, etc and it was hard for her to "bond" with us since we were doing the partying thing. She chose to go outside her usual social group and find friends that were older and in the same "life-stage" vs "age." She was able to find these friends through her older sister, the kids' activities, etc. I'm not sure if you live in a large/small city, but a suggestion of MOPS was a great idea by another poster. You are going to find those who want to compete or just be all around nasty women, but the effort of seeking others out, is worth the payoff

Good Luck

 

[gudrin]

I know how you feel. Most of my friends are older. I was told once that I'm older than my years, and it must be true. People my age bug me, except for one couple and my best friend from college. It can get lonely, but I've decided that it's better to have the older friends than none at all. I met most of my friends through church. Is there a place (not necessarily church) where you could go to meet new people with your same interests? I know it's tough.

I don't have much advice, just *hugs.*

 

[blackcat0229]

Dear Lonely,

It's very difficult - and being lonely is harder to fix than being alone. I go to free seminars, church & hobby clubs to meet people like me. It's harder for you than for me - divorced, 54yo single mom w teenager at home, work full time.

If you just want some connection, and enjoy the internet - there are a couple of nice sites to try. Momtomom.com, mommychat.com, and my favorite - cafemom.com At least on this site, you don't get the "wanna hook up?" stuff....

When you have time alone, be with yourself. Make lists, think dreams, talk in yourself to yourself - gently, kindly. Most of us women, and me, as a nurse, spend all our time focused on taking care of others. With kids, they need your time, but can't fill your empty "personhood". I know my husband loved me, but I don't think he ever "liked" me. Sometimes I feel my son is a love sinkhole - he absorbs my time, energy, money - and though I am proud of him, I feel more empty after being with him than when I'm alone.

You are a person of worth with high morals and feet-on-the-ground - I hope you find friends like you, for you, soon. What your kids will get from you will be more precious than gold. Hug yourself, then hug your kids.

(tongue in cheek)> For now, let us both meditate on how absolutely awful it was for our pioneer grandmothers who had to do it all - with no car, no phone, no internet. In my great-grandmother Polly's diary, (Kentucky, 1882) she had many pages written about her worries, sorrows, and things she wanted to share with a friend - and there were none. I thank technology that I at least have the chance to search for friends - yeah Henry Ford and Bill Gates!

Hugs,
Blackcat0229

 

[NRacine]

I feel ya! I'm 28 and one of my best friends is in her mid 50s. We are very like-minded, even though she's a grandma and I don't even have any kids. Doesn't matter!

I've found that having just a few really good friends (even if they live far away) is better than having a bunch of acquaintances who just don't understand you. Then you don't have to worry about fitting in, what other people think of you, trying to do the things they do... Once your baby is old enough for outings, walks, library, parks, etc you will be able to meet more people. And who knows, you just might like some of them!

 

[tabsmonsters]

I am the same way. Nearly all of my friends are older than I am and I am almost 32. I too was married at a young age (18) and had my first child at 20. I am not a real outgoing kind of person so it takes me a while to find friends. I would just say to hang in there. It took me getting involved with my son's Cub Scout Pack here and taking some quilting classes to find some friends that share the same interests in me.

 

[3goodeggs]

If we lived closer, I'd be at your place all the time!

I think you are one of the coolest people! But I'm much older... I found that I met more people with my interests through my child than on my own. however, I enjoy all ages of people. Only in school are we confined to a certain age group for friends. I never enjoyed the party group. I was more the ice tea on the porch group. There is nothing wrong with just being you, you are great!