Ugh room mates...

Chickerdoodle13

The truth is out there...
12 Years
Mar 5, 2007
6,820
408
331
Phoenix, AZ
As some of you remember, there was an issue in my apartment with one girl not taking off her shoes and making a mess. Well fast forward to now and I bought some slippers and let it go. Now the room mate that I share the same room with is driving me up a wall.

I don't mean to be whiney...I really don't, but I'm so angry right now and needed to vent somewhere.

Everyone in my apartment has early morning classes. I have later classes so I go to bed late and sleep in a bit before getting ready for class. My room mate was leaving the door open in the morning (which she's done for awhile I believe and it was never an issue) but this semester the problem is everyone talks in the hallway and with the door open it is very loud and wakes me up. I asked her last week if she could just keep the door closed in the morning because it was waking me up. I went away for the whole weekend and yesterday morning was the first morning back since going away. She had the door open and even though no one was in the apartment, she kept sharpening pencils and it was very loud. So once again, I asked her nicely to shut the door. She got upset and said "There's no one even here" and I said that a combination of water running and pencil sharpening was waking me up. It shouldn't have been a big deal.

This morning she keeps the door shut, but turns on the overhead light. Surprise, surprise, it wakes me up. I KNOW she is doing this because she's upset I asked her to close the door. So I ask her if she can shut off the light (All the time politely) and she says "no". So I ask what the heck the issue is this time (now I'm angry) and she says she can't see in the room without the door open so she has to turn on the light. Now she's just being difficult and I'm at a loss. It's not fair to me to lose sleep because she can't be considerate. But instead of acting like a normal person she has to retaliate. Am I missing something here? Why does this have to be so difficult? If she asks me to turn down my music I do it. I always make sure to put on headphones and turn off the TV when she goes to bed and I am always as quiet as possible. I don't get upset, I just do it because it's the polite thing to do when you are living with someone else.

So now I'm sitting here feeling both hurt and like I want to punch something very hard. I only have two months left with her, but this is something that I can't just turn a blind eye to because it's affecting my sleep. Once I'm up, it's very difficult for me to go back to sleep.

Ok, I think that will do it for now! Phew, I feel so much better after letting out my frustrations. Thanks for listening to me ya'll.
 

Momagain1

Songster
8 Years
Feb 13, 2011
1,984
13
151
Central IL
can you get a smaller lamp for her area when you want to sleep and she needs/wants light..

also, try these things; my hubby works nights; so he sleeps days..

he gets earplugs..seriously...
he has a heavy duty eye mask (sleep mask)

those things will run you under $10 and very well may save your sanity!
 

dewey

Songster
9 Years
Nov 9, 2010
2,454
24
171
north of eternity
It can be hard living with roomies even under ideal conditions, and especially when on different schedules. Had someone in the habit of hitting snooze over and over on a foghorn loud alarm for over an hour each morning. Said they needed that process to be able to get up after staying up all night and it didn't matter if it distrupted everyone else's sleep. Luckily it was a situation where the roomie could be asked to find a different place. The earplugs and eye mask suggestion sounds like the way to go.
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HEChicken

Crowing
12 Years
Aug 12, 2009
7,552
216
376
BuCo, KS
My Coop
My Coop
Maybe you could try adjusting to everyone else's schedule? If they go to bed and get up early, and you stay up late and want to sleep in, you are asking them to all accommodate your needs. Maybe if you go to bed the same time they do and get up when they do, everyone will be happier....
 

Jess N Jeff

Songster
10 Years
Oct 25, 2009
821
19
159
South San Diego, Cali
I can see your point, but I can also see hers. How is she supposed to get done what she needs to get done in the dark? She should have brought these things up to you when you asked her to shut the door. Communication is important.

For instance: You say..."I cant sleep when the door is open because of the noise, would you mind shutting it?"
She says: "Sure, but I wont be able to see in here. What do you suggest I do?"
Thats when you guys discuss options....

It sucks having roommates, but you have to understand something...Not everyone is raised the same. Your "common courtses" are not gonna be the same as hers. Try to step into her shoes and see from her perspective. Its sucks but it depends on how much harmony you want in the home before you leave.

good luck!!!!
 
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Chickerdoodle13

The truth is out there...
12 Years
Mar 5, 2007
6,820
408
331
Phoenix, AZ
Thing is, I've been living with her for three years now so none of this is new. For the most part, things have been fine. Last year I had an issue with her coming back after going home for the weekend at 4 in the morning and turning on the lights and standing around in the room talking to her mom.
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For some reason right now it just seems like she is on a mission to make my life miserable. My room mates graduate in less than two months and since they are done being here, they don't seem to give a care about anyone else.

I don't really sleep in too late. Usually around 9 or 9:30 so I don't think it's asking too much. They get up around 7:30 and I have class until 8:30pm sometimes, so it's difficult to get to bed early when I still have work to complete after classes. I don't ask that they are quiet, or don't talk, or do anything different, except that the door to my room is shut when they wake up. I asked her today why she couldn't just open the door to get dressed and then close it again. She didn't have an answer.

I do think you are right and she is not communicating. I have three small lamps on my desk that I use and I asked her if she could use one of those, but she said she cannot. More like, she doesn't want to. I get dressed in the dark on days that she wants to sleep in. Plenty of light is let into the room through the windows so it's not like we're talking pitch black here. This is just plain making things difficult because she's upset I asked her to close the door. I really, really need to live alone.

Perhaps I should just wake up before her and make a bunch of noise an hour before she has to wake up. But that would be mean.
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chubbydog811

Songster
11 Years
Dec 24, 2008
397
0
129
New Hampshire
I would take the mean approach, show her what it's like, and really tick her off...But I'm generally a jerk when it comes to stuff like that....I can only be nice for so long before I get angry...Angry is bad, payback is fun
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erm...Sorry...Just saying! Maybe that would get the message across about how annoying she is! Not the "right" way, but when you're desperate, doesn't hurt to try!
 

MeatKing

Songster
10 Years
Sep 13, 2009
1,216
15
188
Near Ottawa Ontario Canada
I had a neighbour once who lived below me.. He kept music on till late hours ect. I had to leave for work early, so I litterly took a hammer and started hammering the flour at 4 am
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He got the point.. lol of course I did ask him to turn down his tunes many times, cause I had to sleep to get up early for work.. It didn't work, but the hammer sure did!! I was mean too, Hammer for a few min.. go shower, hammer another few min, eat go back to the hammer.. He never did say anything to me about the noise.. but his music got turned down!! one of my fondest memories! I could still pic him, hung over and then the hammering stops.. oh thank god she stopped, almost back to sleep again, oh no she started again!!
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Mattemma

Crowing
10 Years
Aug 12, 2009
5,314
94
291
I second the mean approach.Might seem childish,but sometimes showing is more effective than telling.

Ear plugs and eye covers. Hope the next few months go fast for you.
 

Mahonri

Urban Desert Chicken Enthusiast
Premium Feather Member
13 Years
May 14, 2008
30,366
311
546
North Phoenix
My Coop
My Coop
I had a roomie who would never do his dishes after cooking, eating etc...

I was always doing them for him cuz I can't stand a messy kitchen.

You cook, you eat, you clean up.

I asked him politely to clean up after himself, over and over and over again.... get up a little early so he had time etc..

I finally would open up the covers to his bed and put all of his dirty dishes etc, right in his bed.

He seemed to always clean up after that....
 

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