UPDATE: closer to a decision

[smom1976]

Rhett&SarahsMom :

Quote:
Now THAT would actually make me consider moving her.

Also happened with our dd. And we were offered to enter her into KG when she turned 5. We choose not to.
She didnt attend pre K or any preschool. I was home with her and "worked" with her on her numbers etc.
She gets along well with kids older and younger than her. But I want her to be a "kid" as long as she can.​

my "kids" are in 2nd and 3rd grade and they are still "kids" moving up doesnt make you not a kid.

 

[horsejody]

My son was very advanced for his age when he was small. He has a genius IQ. He started kindergarten a year early at age 4. The school wanted him to skip a few grades, but I thought that would disrupt his social development. I don't think one year is too bad, but more may be excessive. The problem with not advancing a gifted child, is that they get bored and under achieve. It's a delicate balancing act. In my son's case, he was very tall and socially advanced for his age, so one year was no big deal. It was also to his advantage that he didn't skip a grade. He just started a year early

 

[ninjapoodles]

You guys are all great. The comments here and on my blog post have been insightful and helpful.

Here's the latest update, and there's now a different "flavor" to the whole thing.

I spoke to the Gifted/Talented coordinator for the school district a little while ago. The language she used was much stronger than what I heard yesterday at the school. Here were the key points:

She said that, in her opinion, judging from the data she has seen on my daughter, that "it would be a disservice to her" to keep her in kindergarten. She went on to say that, at the very least, my daughter would be better served by two years in first grade than she would by staying in kindergarten this year.

She expressed concern that my daughter is already spending the majority of her classroom time "sitting and waiting," which I know is true, because this is what she tells me. There is only one other child in her class who writes his own name without assistance, even. She's spinning her wheels, I know.

So, anyway...given that we always will have the opportunity to repeat a year or pull her out of public school altogether and do something different, at this point we're leaning toward following the district's recommendation and letting her go ahead to first grade. According to the person I spoke with today, we can expect her to still be a little advanced, but she said that she will be an "early identified" beneficiary of the GT program from this point on.

DEEP BREATH.

We'll be meeting with the principal and GT teacher at her school again this week, and she'll be taking the OLSAT this week, to get a better idea of exactly where she falls on the achievement/aptitude spectrum.

 

[debilorrah]

I haven't read all the posts here, however, I wanted you to keep one thing in mind - her maturity level. My son has always been at a gifted level, but socially he was immature. Moving him up didn't help at all. The other kids picked on him and he started doing worse in school instead of better. It would have been the right move if he had been more mature. As an example, he is now 19, but still behaves and thinks like a 17 year old. He has been 2 years "behind" all his life.

 

[Cetawin]

Sorry I somehow missed this post. My two children both faced this issue in different forms.

My son was put into 1st grade as opposed to kindergarten because of academics. He felt really out of place, getting picked on and was constantly needing a challenge during school. When other kids struggled, he made the honor's list without a batting an eye. For him it was a good move because he was emotionally mature enough to handle the older peers.

My daughter started kindergarten at the mere age of 4 because of her birthdate. She was not emotionally mature enough to function well and successfully. I eventually held her back in the third grade to put her on an even keel with her peers.

I would suggest allowing your daughter to attend kindergarten just like all the other children. They need the time with their peers of the same age and need to go through the important steps of early learning. Give her a few years and if she is far advanced and becomes bored without a good challenge from the teachers, then move her up a level.

Just my 2 cents worth.

 

[ninjapoodles]

Yeah, Debi, I know! That's one area we're not too concerned about--she's a foot taller than all the other kids in her class, and very socially outgoing and adept. All those years of private preschool, Sunday school, etc. have really paid off in that regard.

Just observing her in her kindergarten class, she looks REALLY out of place among them. It just never occurred to me before yesterday that we had much choice about her placement.

 

[vicki2x2]

One other thing to consider. If she stays in K, she will turn 18 at the beginning of her senior year. This could be good or bad. For quite a few of my friends and their children, when they turned 18, the kids thought the parents had no rights to tell them what to do anymore and it became quite a struggle. Some wanted to quit school or move out or ....... I was thankful my oldest didn't turn 18 until the end of May and he was already done with his classes. Same will happen with #2. I am concerned about #3 and #4 as they have Jan/Feb birthdays and I worry we might have that struggle.

I know it seems like a long time from now and no one wants to think they will have those problems, but I am finding they are quite common!

On a side note, I started Kindergarten and turned five in September. I was always the top of my class, even though I was one of the youngest. I would say it sounds like she would be fine to move up, especially since she is a girl and often they are more mature at that age than boys.

 

[Mrs MIA]

Besides, you did say that she missed the B-day cutoff by only a couple of weeks? She is probably closer to the first graders than K's anyway. Also, it isn't like it's a permanent thing. If she doesn't do well, either academically or emotionally/socially, I don't think they would prevent you from moving her back, or as you said, holding her at first grade a second year. Doesn't sound like that's going to be a problem, based on what you've said.

I know it's a tough decision, but it sounds like you already know what you're going to do.

 

[Rosalind]

Just my personal experience: My mother was given this option when I was in kindergarten at age 4, to skip me ahead a grade, and she said no because she was worried about me fitting in with older kids, making friends, etc.

It turned out that I was small for my age for the next ten years anyway, and always seemed to be a head shorter and 20 lbs. thinner than anyone my own age. And I still got picked on, not for being young/smallest, but for being a smart-aleck and a geek!

What really helped me prepare for college and make friends was going to an all-girls boarding school. The boarding school was run a bit like college but with more supervision obviously, and had a more flexible class scheduling option so you could take extra instruction if you were really good at a particular subject. You weren't allowed to fill up your schedule with study halls like the public school kids did. Since it was single sex, there weren't all the silly social games and flirting nonsense going on in class--classes were for learning, flirting was to be done under the headmistress' supervision at dances with approved boys' schools.

A few years later, when a couple of teachers were nevertheless fed up with my smart-aleck ways, the school guidance counselor recommended I take part-time classes at the local university. Upon reviewing my PSATs, SATs and transcript, the university admissions office told my mother that while it was too late to apply for financial aid for that particular semester, I could be accepted and given a hefty scholarship if I wanted to start as a full time student there in the spring. I was 16, and my mother felt that I should have a high school diploma rather than skipping years of high school to go straight to college, so I had to suffer through two looooooooong horrible years full of teasing and bullying that were of absolutely no benefit to me in any way whatsoever. I did not make long-time friends, have unforgettable experiences, or learn bugger-all. I was bored stupid, to the point that my grades went in the toilet out of sheer contrariness and boredom. When I finally got that stupid diploma, I no longer qualified for the scholarship I was originally offered! So had to work for a few years in order to afford to go to college, and worked my butt off at part-time jobs all through college, too--I could've done WAY better if I had had time to study instead of working 35 hours/week.

Now I look back on it, and wow, all the things I could have done...I would've been done with my undergrad at age 19, gone straight to grad school...probably ruling the world by now...

Seriously, do not hold your daughter back. Let her be awesome. Maybe someday, she'll be president.

 

[debilorrah]

Sometimes you just have to follow your heart and deal with whatever comes your way later. No matter what decision you make, children run into issues growing up. Period. We, as parents, do what we can, but it's ultimately not up to us....