Upset and hurt...

[Frosty]

I have a neighbor who had an over grown piece of property... about an acre. We asked her about 3 years ago if we could mow it to feed to ponies that couldn't be kept in the pasture and she said we could. My son and I spent three years mowing the field, during which time we pulled up a lot of buried fence and other junk. We got the field to the point where we could mow most of it with a riding mower and it looked GREAT. The neighbor had some brushy things that she hated and she wanted them taken out but was worried that they were blocking snow like a living snow fence. I removed the things and planted some Juneberries (they are like high bush blueberries) to catch the snow instead. I bought these plants and put them in. She likes Juneberries and called me at one point last summer to see if I had any berries to spare from my plants, I took a few gallons down and gave them to her.

Yesterday I took her down a few jars of jelly, and she started telling me that she SOLD the property and that somebody is putting a modular home on it. A bit later in the conversation I told her that I wished I had known that she wanted to sell it, I would have bought it (I did ask her about 5 years ago if she wanted to sell it but she didn't want to at the time). She told me that she didn't even think of the fact that I might want it and said 'It would have squared up your property line, wouldn't it?'

I am just so upset and hurt... and yes, angry. I realize that she doesn't owe me anything, that she has the right to sell the property to whoever she wants to. But we worked our butts off cleaning it up and she just dropped that on me when I took her down some jelly. She wanted me to stay longer to visit, but I had to get out of there before I said something that I shouldn't. I had to bite my tongue to not demand the jelly back before I left. Now that I lost the grass supply, I have to sell a lot of my ponies and with the market like it is... I did do something horrible, I went down a few hours later and pulled my Juneberry plants back out.

 

[Ridgerunner]

You are right. You have no control over what she does with her property, but I also consider it thoughtless that she did not talk to you first. I've told a couple of neighbors that if they decide to sell certain property, please talk to us first. I think they will, but I really have no control over that, especially when one will probably be sold through inheritance.

Mom has a renter running cattle on her farm. She has a pasture up for sale and offered it to him first. He has declined but asked to be kept informed of progress.

There is a fine line between thoughtless and rude, but do consider what she did bad manners.

 

[Mattemma]

That is a bummer. Hopefully you can buy it from the new owners or maybe another neighboring lot will come up for sale .I always let neighbors know I would be interested in buying their land/home if they should decide to sell it.Ofcourse you gotta watch what you say or they will mark it up if they know you want it bad!

 

[Laurajean]

Maybe she wanted to sell the property for a higher amount and didn't think it would be fair to ask that amount from you, a good neighbor? I know this happened with my own father. He was selling some of the land that I grew up on, and I've asked him repeatedly over many years if I could buy it if he decides to sell. After he sold it, I asked why he didn't offer it to me, and he explained that he was selling it for a profit, and didn't want me to pay that high of a price for it. Yeah, I can wish he let me make that decision, but it is his property after all, same with your neighbor. And as far as your ponies, in all fairness, had she said no when you originally asked if they could have the grass, you would still have to figure out a grass solution. Not sure it's fair to blame that on the neighbor. At least you were able to enjoy her property while you could. I really doubt she did this to hurt you, or to be rude. We tend to think (me included) that people should always think about OUR feelings, but the fact is she has her own life and feelings, and omitting you wasn't necessarily rude or ill intended in my opinion. I mean this all in a nice way, I really do, and I'm sorry your ponies lost their grass source.

 

[Mallory]

I'm sorry you feel somewhat betrayed! I know I would, too. Even if she didn't owe you anything, it would have been common sense and courteous to ask YOU, being that you put so much work into it. And how crappy to think that it didn't even cross her mind you might want it! Surely, she must have thought of it. If it were me, I'd have a heck of time not thinking about you if you've cleaned it up so nicely, making it, I'm sure, sale worthy in the first place.

You have every right pulling up your bushes. No reason not to! So sorry you have been let down.

 

[dewey]

It's hard to tell, but maybe it was never a thought to her (to sell it to you) since in her mind you were having to hay the acre just to be able to even feed the ponies, no less afford a land payment -- sometimes things get incorrectly dismissed like that in people's minds. Maybe it was sold to family or friends, or maybe it was more valuable as a residential lot than pasture.

I once sold a few acres to an across-the-road neighbor. After the fact, my next door neighbor mentioned I should have sold it to him. I was friends with both neighbors and both were good people and both liked each other, too. A seller just can't win in some cases. Sadly, it ended up 2 years later that there was a terrible tragedy on the side neighbor's land and he sold all his property and moved anyway.

It would have been great if you could have bought the land and the deep disappointment in not getting it is totally understandable.

 

[krcote]

Quote:
Excellent thoughts.

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
Excellent thoughts.

Actually, yes, that would very likely be a conclusion drawn on the neighbors' part. If you struggle to feed the ponies, not likely you could afford the land.

 

[carolinagirl58]

We were in the exact same position as you 10 years ago. We had a 14 acre lot and were friends with the brothers who owned the two 14 acre lots on either side of us (it was inherited family land). Or at least we though we were friends. When Joe decided to sell, he kept it a secret. He tried his best to sell to someone .....anyone ....besides us. It turned out he was jealous that we would own more of his family's land than he did so he didn't want us to have it. We were lucky though and managed to get the land anyway. I can't imagine why your neighbor would not even ask you. She knew you used it and that you put hard work into it. She could have asked!

 

[Dar]

can I point out one thing..... the easiest way to make an enemy of a friend is to loan them money, live with them. or get involved in a business transaction.

Maybe its easier this way... maybe she wanted way to much for that piece of land and she would not feel right taking a friend to the cleaners for it...

maybe they really had no intention of selling and then some random person walks up and offers to buy... yes it happens all the time in the summer months we get calls and letters and yes visits to the door from developers, our land and a few neighbors are the only ones left before this area is all suburbia H#ll . One of the developers was even overheard claiming the wells that give us our water were bad in order to deter another developer. he said one of the residents gave him a sample... <sniff sniff> I smell something... LOL