Utah!

[Desert Springs]

Not a good day for me today. Had a horrible day at work trying to learn new things, went to the dentist for two hours and got my mouth beat up, and then tonight, my BF's teenage daughter somehow got a hold of my number and texted me. And it wasn't a nice text. It was a whole novel in which she pretty much attacked me and threatened me, and then my BF asked me not to get involved. I'm feeling pretty hurt and angry right now. And there's no real indication that the divorce will be done any time soon. Ugh, you guys, there's so much more that goes into it all. It's been two stinking years. I feel sick inside. All I wanted was to make him happy and be happy with him. Now it feels like everywhere I turn, people are trying to rip me apart.

I sincerely feel for you Red!!

That situation is not a good one in so many ways. I know what it feels like to be so emotionally involved and yet be attacked by the offspring who views you as the enemy!!! Maybe you need to protect your heart and take a step back (I know far easier said than done). But I also know the feeling of having the one you love not allow you to defend yourself vs the offspring. It makes for a relationship in which you'll never be able to wholly trust him again, thinking your feelings do not count as much as theirs, which you've just found. He'll deny it but you'll find yourself alienated more and more during his 'family' time. You'll find yourself more and more alone. Time dearie to start making YOURSELF happy!!! That is supposed to be his priority too. Use your hurt and anger to focus on staying strong!! He has way too much on his plate right now. Hope I'm not overstepping myself, but you're a great person!!!! Please start expecting him to treat you that way, and if he can't, then maybe you're being prompted elsewhere. Look at the lesson this was meant to teach (That helps with me!!) (Big hugs!! My apologies for being so harsh however the Lord didn't bless me with tact

. I'm only a phone call away!!!)

Ugh, I'm so sorry Red. Do you feel like your BF wants the divorce? I'm just wondering at what point do you give up, you know? I have good news for you: I was so afraid I'd lost the Icelandic eggs, and so close to hatch. I felt like I'd discovered my incubator had died quickly, but just didn't know. I candled the eggs tonight, and all 5 were still moving and alive. So at least there's that for you.

I hate that my incubator died. Especially during a hatch and ESPECIALLY when it's someone else's (extremely rare and valuable) eggs. But, I discovered the failure quickly (as opposed to it happening at 5pm Friday when incubator was at school for a 3 day weekend) and even more luckily, I had a broody who could take care of the eggs til a replacement came.

Sphinx, I am so very thankful you had a broody to take over.

 

[saracalderas]

Red, I'm sorry I don't understand why people have to be so mean. Stay strong, you're a great person and he had better treat you well! Us chicken people have great imaginations, slightly evil but nonetheless great.

 

[Cynthia12]

Red, I'm with Sphinx. Is it time? It's interesting that you posted this. I was going to pm you and ask you how things were in that area. Hadn't heard anything in a while. It is kind of strange that the divorce has taken so long. I've been through two. It only took a couple of months for one, and only one for the other. And usually Utah makes you wait for three months, at least back in the day. What's taking so long? Too many stories/excuses. Is it possible that the daughter isn't wanting it..and the dad is holding off for the kids. I know you said there is a lot to it, I am sure there is, especially after two years of all of this. I can't imagine someone taking two years to get a divorce. I think he could get it done in a month's time now if he really wanted it. Pray about what you should do now. I know you have been, but .. for now. Again, is it time? You are so beautiful in so many ways, and I don't mean just your outward beauty. You are beautiful inside and out..I know..I've met you. You need to get on with your life! Take care, you will be in my prayers.
(Hoping with all my heart I don't sound preachy here.) I'm a mom with 12 kids..! Things just come out the way I see them.

 

[sillycmoy]

Sorry Red you having some issues. Family issues are the worse, and we have our fair share here. I tend to try and stay out of the drama, and then everyone thinks I just don't care. But I hate family drama. Hang in there, and go do something fun for yourself! Think positive!

Sphinx, you will have to let me know which incubator you got, and if you like it. I want one so bad. My husband just looks at me sideways when I bring it up, but said if I really need one to go buy it already, think he's sick of me saying something to him about an incubator. I really don't need anymore chickens outside right now, I have enough space to add way more. hehehe. I just think it would be so fun to hatch some out for my daughters kindergarten this spring. Plus I really want a Brahma, and it would be fun to hatch some of those too.

 

[RedIII]

Thanks all. Cymthia, it's taken so long because she (the ex) is dragging it out. Funny how quick she was to file for the divorce, though. I think she is doing a lot of this out of spite. She knows we are interested in each other, and by dang, she should be the only one that's allowed to have boyfriends amd be happy!

Anyone want to babysit my chickens for a couple of days while I disappear? Or maybe a few months?

 

[sillycmoy]

Red, I would babysit, but I think your too far north for me to help you out. I'm a good babysitter ask Brian his girls have been here for several weeks and are super happy.

 

[Cynthia12]

My DH is going to make me one of those treadle chicken feeders. I am soo tired of the sparrows eating all of the food. I hope they work as well as I've read.

 

[blujems]

Thought I better share this with you all....http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Emergency-Bantam-Sale.html?soid=1011187071156&aid=GhTFTc-6SWk

 

[sillycmoy]

Blu that is so tempting, but what would I do with 25 plus banties. I totally could use about 2-3 more running around, I love my 2 tiny's that I have right now, they are so fun. If you find someone wanting to go in on it, I will buy a few if you want to order.

 

[Lilwanis]

Not a good day for me today. Had a horrible day at work trying to learn new things, went to the dentist for two hours and got my mouth beat up, and then tonight, my BF's teenage daughter somehow got a hold of my number and texted me. And it wasn't a nice text. It was a whole novel in which she pretty much attacked me and threatened me, and then my BF asked me not to get involved. I'm feeling pretty hurt and angry right now. And there's no real indication that the divorce will be done any time soon. Ugh, you guys, there's so much more that goes into it all. It's been two stinking years. I feel sick inside. All I wanted was to make him happy and be happy with him. Now it feels like everywhere I turn, people are trying to rip me apart.

Thanks all. Cymthia, it's taken so long because she (the ex) is dragging it out. Funny how quick she was to file for the divorce, though. I think she is doing a lot of this out of spite. She knows we are interested in each other, and by dang, she should be the only one that's allowed to have boyfriends amd be happy!

Anyone want to babysit my chickens for a couple of days while I disappear? Or maybe a few months?

Ah Red, I am so sorry. It is hard to be in the situation you are in. Crazy, vindictive ex's are hard to deal with also. I don't know anything about your situation other than I have read the occasional updates here for the past year. Most divorces take less than a year. Speaking as someone who works with high net worth clients, some can take years. A friend of mine here in Utah, started his divorce in 2007, it just finished last year. She kept trying to get more from him. He offered her everything from the start (poor guy was heart broken; she was the love of his life), so by the time it finished, her lawyer got all and both were left with next to nothing. So those are some worst case scenarios. The questions to ask are, what can your BF do to force this forward. There are methods out there. If one party doesn't want a divorce and is not complying (even though she filed initially), there are steps that he, and his lawyer can take to force it forward. I really hope for the best for you