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- #11
It sounds as if you are prioritizing things. Good for you! Stay strong!! Just breaking everything down that needs to be done vs. what can be delegated elsewhere or postponed 'til later IS positive.
-nothing amazing, here. -completely sane and finding joy in day-to-day things: yes! -simply had to adjust expectations and perspective a bit. 15 - 20 years ago I saw the "cumulative" effect. All of the small things festered and became big things. The big things (trials) became overwhelming. Also, I placed demands on happiness in the form of big things. -didn't make time to enjoy the little mundane stuff. Now, I'm 43. I'm a student at this "life" thing.....and will always be. -haven't arrived, figured it out, and am always learning and growing. The difference is this: The little things don't hold my focus. -have to delegate energy to the big things (trials) that are critical and crucial. In contrast, I don't put happiness on hold. I don't catalog "big" accomplishments that MUST transpire to attain happiness. I absorb all of the little things in any given day that put a smile on my face. This morning, I sat outdoors with a cup of coffee on the back porch. A little anole lizard popped up onto the trellis nearby. -made me smile.... 20 years ago, I wouldn't have even noticed that nor cared. (would've been making a to-do list in my head)
-still have to remain vigilant in caring for my child with type 1 diabetes. -woke up with a low blood glucose level during the night last night. -just did what needed to be done. -got juice, glucose rebounded, and it was all fine. -still take my mother on the errands she needs to run. She still hasn't learned to drive....and won't at 74. -still look after my brother (help my mom with him, as he lives with her at 51) as he is independent, yet very dependent at the same time. -cannot function on his own without supervision to stay on meds. -life?? It is good. -really good, sincerely good.
You hang in there and hold on!!! If you don't have a good therapist close, do you have true and close friends? if so - do not be timid to solicit help. Find that listening ear. Sometimes no advice is needed (or even wanted per se) - just someone to hear you out. Find support - have "go to" folks when you need someone to watch things for you while you attend other things. (and definitely, as stated by another poster, take a few minutes for yourself.) Some days - it may literally be a few minutes. After you've given all you can to the efforts of the day, sit down and rest. A simple cup of coffee is always a pleasant thing...
Today has been, and still is, a running one. My mom was harassing my husband, had to stop that; at work, saw a body removal; at home now, my two black roosters took off into the woods. So they'll either be eaten or come back and meet my dogs because I work late (on break). I'm about to go to a shift that's very hectic and if anyone else were available, I'd never go. But staffing is short and the soonest anyone can take that case over is New Years.
Still, I've made it this far, and know it's just one more shift until I can get a break again. And I'm going to treasure tonight's rest until I return tomorrow at 5. Just reminding myself that in a few months I'll get to be a stay at home mom. I think I can manage until then.