Voluntarily Silent

[chickensducks&agoose]

I have voluntarily stopped speaking. I feel like my kids take my nagging etc. for granted, and don't listen like they should. DS especially, he's 8. He is making me totally nuts, and I am SO sick of asking him to "be nice, Sit down, Share with your sister, Don't talk back, Don't do that, Use your fork, Use a plate, No you can't eat that.... etc." So. I've stopped speaking. Nobody listens anyway, so i'm just wasting my time and breath and energy. SO, I will use sign, and if we're really stuck, i'll write things down. 2 of my 3 kids can read. DH is thrilled that I'm not speaking, and has used this as an opportunity to convert one of my flannel sheets into car-repair rags, knowing I can't yell at him... and I just learned that even if I do yell, it's not going to magically fix my sheet. It's amazing how much I use my voice when it's really too late to change anything. I'm going to try to last 6 days... I don't think the people at my church would understand, and I really do love the singing.... During Church I'll reassess, and decide whether it seems to be helping anything, or if it's just silly.

 

[benjoycei]

sing at church.
When we used to get on Mom's nerves she would tell us she was changing her name-to something we could not pronounce- and she would only answer to that name....We learned it much to her chagrin...it was Hinkydinkyeiklepinky. But it did change the mood.

 

[kfchickenlady]

oh I feel for you! pick your battles, and enjoy the silence! Then its all new tactics when they get to be teenagers.

 

[EweSheep]

I am going to try to do that method...no one listens to me either LOL! One time I did that, and my 7 year old dd would be so frustrated when I signed or mouthed the words. No sounds. It got hubby to listen and sure did with my dd. That was for three hours I did that LOL!

Six days, I would have to shoot for the distance to go that far with no silence. I know my voice sounds weird when I don't talk for a day or two and then the following day, trying to talk. Not sure why but it rested the voice.

 

[cassie]

Go to flylady.net. Check out the House Fairy. That will help you deal with the kids.

 

[kfchickenlady]

Quote:
yes!

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:
However it cost $15.00 to access it. No thanks!

 

[punk-a-doodle]

This sounds like a negative way to handle things to me personally, and will not actually help you be at peace with your family or gain the respect you desire. It also models behavior that children use to express their frustration, which is not healthy for you or your family. You may also find it backfires magnificently. You say they don't appreciate your nagging, but no one appreciates nagging. There are much healthier means to communicate with family members, and nagging does not respect others, so it is not surprising that it does not gain respect in return. Just like in working with animals, doing something a human sees as punishment, such as locking a bird in a quiet room for a time out, can actually reward the behavior one is trying to eliminate if said bird finds human presence to be a stressful experience. People end up encouraging behavior they are trying to stop. Similarly, nagging is probably something your family members would love to avoid, so you not speaking may actually be seen as a very positive thing. From what you've said here, including your husband using sheets into rags, shows closed communication and manipulative games born of frustration and probably poor modeling by your own parents and unreasonable and inflated expectations. For the better health and happiness of all, I strongly suggest you go as a family group or individually to a professional or trusted and grounded person to help create a better family situation and more individual contentment. That's just my honest opinion from how I personally interpreted your statements, and may be completely off base. Please feel free to disregard as you see fit.

 

[EweSheep]

going on laundry strikes helped moms dealing with kids and adults living in the house to share the chores themselves and slowly she would give them tips how to get the stains out and so forth.

Sometimes folks tried to get a rise out of someone to get them to talk.....nothing unusual about that. I would not go as far as counseling but offering suggestions would be a good idea before heading out to family cousneling. Been there and done that.

 

[calicokat]

Oh, I'd never make it. Sending you strength!

DS (18) and I had an interesting bet a couple months ago. I keep telling him not to say cuss words. He said something about me yelling all the time. So finally I said let's make a bet. I bet you say a cuss word before I yell at you kids about something. We both did very well, surpisingly! Speaking of which, we should do that again!