Was I wrong? Parenting Question

[sourland]

Water on fire?

Oh yeah, I've heard of firewater. Been there a time or two.

 

[Sir Birdaholic]

Been there,..... done that,..... myself! Thankfully not in the last many years!

 

[cuntryuppiechick]

When did it become standard that we turn on the tv first thing and leave it on all day?

He is forgetting his responsibilities for recreation. When it is time to get ready and get out the door it is time for responsibilities. He needs to learn the correct time and place so he understands self control. One goes in the bathroom, turns on the water, gets undressed, brushes teeth, etc, by then water is hot or hot enough. Maybe put one of those thought a day calendars in the bathroom and each day he can change the date and think about what it suggests. Or even a comic strip daily calendar, something to occupy him more closely to what he is supposed to be thinking about, your propane bill. We cry everytime our propane truck delivers. It hurts and the prices are going up yet again. Mean? Not really. When our 3 year old refused to get ready to leave it took about .0003 seconds before she realized I was right and we do have to wear clothes and shoes when I set her barefoot on the snowy porch.

 

[M.sue]

We went through the issue of our 12yr. old doing just the opposite when he was 10. He'd let the shower warm up and then just stand in there, let it beat on him for it felt sooo good & then when the next person jumped in it was ice cold. This was a battle that went on daily. So to avoid the yelling and stress it caused in our house hold I bought a duo-timer. He had 7 minutes to wash his little body. I'd set the timer, he'd let the water warm up, the minute he was in the shower I started the timer. He had 5 minutes to thoroughly wash...the timer then would go off reminding him he only had 2 minutes left to finish up. If he wasn't finished when the final timer went off....out he came regardless or not if he shampooed his hair!! Plus...if he wasn't out when the final timer went off he then lost valued privileges for 24 hrs. We had to do this for several months but it was well our effort & time for he nows jumps in, wash and is out. Our battle now which is 50/50 is getting him to pick the bathroom after he's done!! Never a dull moment!!

 

[rebelcowboysnb]

I would not be posting about this. Although I agree it is an ok punishment the law does not. There was a woman on the news here while back that was charged for doing just that. I don't see a jury convicting on that but trials are not cheep.

 

[LegginMF12]

Quote:
He likes to take long showers. He gets 10 minutes to shower. I mean really how long does take for a 4 ft person who doesn't need to shave to get clean? I have long hair, I can shower, shave, hot oil my hair, shampoo and condition in 8 minutes without trying. We have tried the no leaving the bathroom thing. One of the times he ran the hot water completely out he was in the bathroom, door closed, shower running. I was keeping an eye on the time and was letting him have a few extra minutes. Finally I banged on the door and hollered "Bubba your clean, time to get out". He cracks the door and says "But I haven't got in yet"

He had been standing in the that bathroom for over 15 minutes doing who knows what! I told him the next time he did it his dad was going to put him in the bath tub and wash him like he was a 2 yr old.
A lot of his issue's are not his fault. He has never been told no for 8+ years, never had to go to school unless he wanted to. He would spend 2 - 3 days taking care of and amusing himself while mommy and uncle slept for the whole time only getting up to use the restroom or eat. He has been raised on the t.v. and has zero attention span. The poor kid thinks it is ok to eat a family size bag of chips and a 2 liter of soda for breakfast. All I know is that we are this child's second chance on a healthy normal life and I will not fail him!
Now anybody have any ideas on keeping him out of the kitchen when I am cooking. He likes to shove himself between you and the stove and almost caught his shirt on fire doing it. You can't send him to bed without dinner as money will scream child abuse to the lawyer (how the heck does she afford a lawyer, she doesn't work?)

 

[chicmom]

It's almost NOT a punishment, because he has to take that shower anyhow, in my opinion. Now he knows the consequences of his actions, and that what you were asking him to do was important! Don't run out all the hot water!

I believe he will listen next time!

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

With this insanity going on, I'd get a water timer as already suggested. I have hair that I can sit on dry and it's hyper curly, so it's knee length or so straight I'd guess. I can't do a full wash of my hair in under 15 minutes, but I can do the quick version in the shower in under 10.

Also, if he's going to behave like a 2 year old, he gets the rules of a 2 year old. No door shut, at least until he is going to get directly in the shower. Dad has to sit in the bathroom with him for the shower. Which may mean night showers would fit the schedule better, plus with direct supervision until the bad habits are broken and having to take the time at night cutting into play time, so there is a secondary reinforcement.

As for the stove issue - no, you can't deprive them of food, but it doesn't have to be a nice, home cooked meal. He can get a cold sandwich and some raw carrots for dinner, sit at the table where you can watch him, then go directly to bed. Nice meals that are hot and require silverware are a reward, plenty of people do fine with less. DH and I did fine with less for many years.

 

[Orchid]

I think you were perfectly within reason to make him take a cold shower. I will also add that we have a rule at our house that has been in force since our first child was 2 - NO television, video games, computer etc. in the mornings. DH and I don't even turn on the news. It's amazing how much better the morning schedule goes without those distractions.

 

[LiLRedCV]

The law DOES allow for DISCIPLINE tho' and many confuse this with abuse. It's the nosy busy bodies and over-stepping authorities who need to learn how to tell the difference and mind their own business in most cases. Many of our children are out of control these days because people can't let a parent DISCIPLINE their child(ren). As a direct result, this has left the children in charge of the adults and there's not much we can do about it.

As for punishment? This action wasn't punishment. It was a cause & effect lesson - he ran the hot water completely out without even actually taking the shower in the process. He still needed to take a shower, this was the end result of his own personal actions. His actions not only effected him, but it effected the others in the household. He needs to learn that very important aspect too.