Good for you Mo! Hope they think about it!
Both the principal and the Counselor responded by 7 a.m. this morning and they both had concerns about the notes before they started this bully education propgram, and agreed that in cases like this, ignorance is bliss. The program is not something organized by our school district, but a movie that travels to schools all around the country along with a curriculum on how it should be taught, and regional directors that oversee the program. They went ahead with the program as it was as it has been used with good reviews all over the nation. They have forwarded my concers and Olivia's experience to the program directors.
Every girl in the school was required to write an apology note to another student. The counselor met with the nice girl who had given Olivia the note to clarify what prompted it and then he met with Olivia and updated me. They too said Olivia's initial perception of the girl was correct, she is a very good student and a decent person. The girl could not think of anything recently that she had done that was bullying, but she needed to get the assignment done to get credit, and she was already a day late turning it in. She thought hard and could only recall an incident from when they were in 3rd or 4th grade (they are in 6th grade now) and apologized for that. Her note did not specify that it was an apology for something that happened years ago.
I can't believe that they have been teaching this program for years (first time at our school), and this issue has not come up before! I asked Olivia who she apologized to and what her note said. I'm sure there are many other girls who feel as Olivia did. She aoplogized to a special girl for not always eating lunch with her when she sees the girl sit alone day after day. Aparently, quite a few kids gave this girl notes.
I know her fairly well and feel for her. She is from a large family and her parents died in an accident when she was barely 2. for the next 5 years she was bumped from foster home to foster home somewhere in the South. The schools she attended down there and her foster families assumed she was severly mentally handicapped and aparently no one had really ever made an effort to communicate with her. She had been placed in classrooms with students who could not talk, write and barely communicate. When she was 7, a family here learned of her and formally adopted her and all her siblings. Her biological parents must have been wonderful people because her siblings, all Jr High and High School boys at the time they moved here, are all very polite, well balanced, and well behaved boys.The special ed teacher at the elementary school here beleives that the girl was only slightly handicapped if at all because she learned to read and write, talk, and do math all very quickly, and was soon mainstreamed into the regular classrooms with tutors. I even used to go in to the school to help tutor her. She is very sweet, but also emotionally scarred. She loved having me come in to the classroom and teach her in 3rd grade. She would hug me and always had a huge smile on her face, eager to show off what she had learned, but if I said hello to Olivia, she would get very angry, punch me and tell me I was not to say hello to Olivia. The poor girl had no concept of family and told me I needed to send Olivia away to live with some other parents because she did not want to share me! She would shove Olivia away if she greeted me. Over the years Olivia did become her friend, but the girl still has a mean streak I'm sure due to her past. The girl can only handle one friend at a time. She gets very jealous if another girl should talk to her friend, and this turns kids away from her. Olivia told me a couple weeks ago that she was having a hard time choosing who to sit with during lunch. Olivia missed eating with her friends, but feels bad joining her friends because If she does the girl eats alone. She tried inviting the girl to eat with her and her friends, but that did not work out, and they did a few times but it was not pleasant. I told Olivia that she should remain nice to the girl, but to eat with who she wants to eat with, maybe one day her group of friends and the next this girl. Lately she has been eating with her group of friends and has felt bad about it. Can you imagine how this poor girl and the stack of apology letters she must have gotten? I don't think she has the capacity to understand the notes.
