Sadie -
What wonderful stories about about your daughter. It shows a well loved child with supportive parents parents who teach her well through the good examples you have set.
My kids astonish me too at times, like Olivia at the end-of year picnic in second grade when she refused to acknowledge my neighbor and her daughter when they came and said hello to us. The mom was getting irritated and asked Olivia if she was going to use her good manners and respond to their greeting. I was kicking Olivia under the table because she kept eating her hot dog like they were not even there. Once they left, she turned to me and said she will never acknowledge that girl because she always punches a little dark-skinned boy in the groin when she gets on the bus, and then lies to the busdriver that he tripped her in the aisle getting the poor boy in trouble.
For Alex it was watching Food Inc, or something like that. He has no love for animals, but he does believe that every living being ought to be treated humanely and with respect, no matter what their purpose in life. We walked out of the theater after it was over, and he told me he will never eat another egg nor any chicken meat until we raise the birds ourselves. That is why I have chickens and why I am here. I wouldn't have gotten to know this wonderful group of people if autistic kids really did have no empathy as so many books say!
Just before his third birthday, I took him to the fair and told him if he behaved well, I would buy him a cookie before we left. Well, he earned his cookie, and eagerly waited in line for it. We started walking away from the stand when he spotted another little boy nearby who was having a tantrum because his mom would not buy him a cookie. Alex walked over and gave him the entire cookie without every trying a bit of it. I asked him why he did that and he replied "That boy wants a cookie way more than I do!"