Washingtonians

[drumstick diva]

thank you broodytood, love the people on this thread

 

[Cloverleaf Farm]

Chickenegger reminds me of of a gunslinger , albeit a rather chunky one, with wings at the ready to blast ya inta tarnation.

OK, now I'm picturing him as Yosemite Sam!!! LOL

 

[Stumpfarmer]

I say more good luck to 4312, as it makes me so happy to see good things to come to good people!

I'm going to prostelitize for Hamburgs in re the open question, but I need new photos to that purpose, and am low energy/high demands right now, so maybe if we're lucky this afternoon?

At least the rain has slacked off so I don't have to wear my Helly-Hanson to go check cows; the rainpants are long-gone and keeping my shoulders dry while everything from the thighs down get soaking wet is not my favorite way to be.

 

[SadieSue]

Wow - some reflections on the past for me. Ogress, I do not in any way envy what you are going through with your kids. You are being a good and fierce parent and I admire the steps you are taking to be proactive in the sight of peers trying to "break" your children. I hate what happens to young people once they are set out into the world. They start out being such bright, vivacious beings, full of joy and confidence, and little by little things happen that make them self conscious and begin to erode some of that pure sweetness and zest for life they are born with. It is painful to watch their light dim.

I so did not want this to happen to my girl. I knew it had happened to me when I didn't have the tools to deal with it and wondered how I could arm my daughter without clothing her in armor and making her distrust the world. As it turns out, she was the one who taught me. I often look at her and wonder if our roles have been reversed. She has so frequently spoken to me, not condescendingly, but in a way that makes me think in a past life she was the parent.

In third grade there was a girl who had made it clear SHE was the one running the DD's class. She started teasing Lily but found she was unable to upset her and decided instead she wanted to be friends with her. There were sleepovers, play dates. I knew about this girl, but Lily seemed to enjoy her company so I allowed the friendship to continue. One day on the playground Lily watched and listened as her "friend" made disparaging remarks about the way some of the other classmates dressed and looked. Finally Lily said, "You seem to spend all your time talking bad about other people. You say I'm your friend, but this makes me wonder what you say about me when my back is turned."
Clearly stunned, Megan S. said, "I'm only kidding." Lily replied, "How can it be 'only kidding' when you are hurting people's feelings?"
She told me the story when we were together that night. Amazed, I could only tell her how proud I was of her for sharing her truth so clearly with a girl who intimidated other people. The following year they were in different classes, I pulled Lily out of that school because of a lazy teacher and the girls lost touch with each other, mostly because of Lily's disinterest.

In junior high school, Lily worked hard to get good enough grades when she found you had to have a 3.5 to be on student council. She told me she needed to be a part of making decisions for the school. Then I discovered that the student council was made up almost entirely of the "Queen Bees" and wondered how she would work with them. The girls were friends with Lily - I knew them, they attended each others birthday parties, but I could see my DD never quite bought into their pretense. She clearly was on student council because she felt it was where she needed to be. When they were graduating from 8Th grade, every one of those girls were going on to Bellarmine Preperatory school (which costs MORE than college at a state school). I offered her Bellarmine as an option and instead she chose public school. She wanted to attend Tacoma School of the Arts where she could be independent of clubs, cliques and sports activities and focus on her schoolwork. When I pointed out to her that her "friends" would be going to Bellarmine, she said, "I don't care - I am so tired of them and their thinking that the world begins and ends with them. There are a lot of different things I want to experience."
Again - I was floored.

Her first year of public school was really intimidating for Lily. The Arts school only accepted Sophomores at that time so she had to go to one of the other high schools in town. She witnessed school dances where kids were "grinding" on the dance floor, girls flaunting their bodies shamelessly to attract attention from the jocks and horrifically violent fights between boys in the hallways when frightened teachers were screaming for help and to "get security in here!"
It was better when she got to the Arts school. You have to be apply and be interviewed to be accepted into the school. Kids are there because they WANT to be. Lily found a group of friends with varied interests who enjoyed being able to design a lifestyle for themselves and is still friends with them although they've gone in different directions and schools.

I have no words of advice for any parent. I can never point to anything I did that helped my daughter succeed, though I can pinpoint plenty of instances where I know I was wrong and could only apologize to her afterward, (and still wince when I remember them). My feeling has been that awareness and keeping eyes and ears open, being available to your kids and really listening is not a bad first step.
I have always been honest with Lily that I might not always know what was best, but that I would make my best effort to help her figure out a solution.

My best thoughts to you Ogress for working hard to do the best by your kids. It is so tough to see them hurt. The job is endlessly challenging, but also can be just as rewarding.

Best of luck to you guys.

 

[Zgoatlady]

Ok so other then silkies... what breeds are the best mama's?
I need a broody mama that won't attack the chicks i put under her.

Ive had a few of my BCM girls be great Moms. They would do anything for the chicks.

 

[Zgoatlady]

If you're having problems getting subscription notifications, please report them here: https://www.backyardchickens.com/t/...mail-subscription-notifications-unsubscribing

I did and nothing has happend so far

 

[Rainwolf]

Ok so other then silkies... what breeds are the best mama's?

I need a broody mama that won't attack the chicks i put under her.

Ive had a few of my BCM girls be great Moms. They would do anything for the chicks.

Z- got a broody silkie I can borrow?
mom might change her mind and like a silkie if she gets used to one... she thinks they are funny looking chickens via photos.

 

[SadieSue]

Quote:

So far I've only had one broody and that is my Light Sussex. She's gone broody probably 3 times in the past year until I let her hatch and raise Kaneke's EE chicks. She's finally starting to lay again.

 

[TheReidHomestead]

Ok so other then silkies... what breeds are the best mama's?
I need a broody mama that won't attack the chicks i put under her.

Bantam cochins are great broodies too.

 

[Totalcolour]

Quote: Sorry CL - this is actually a BLRW WC Polish baby! The one I got from you is blue with black head and neck, and a more pronounced crest (I made this one when I couldn't find any Icees to buy, so this was the next best thing.)

Today was a much better day.

Both of my kids were told by their schools to go to the school counselors immediately when they are being teased. I am not happy with that solution - I think that will make them bigger targets, and it will make it easy for people to walk all over them in the future. I want them to stick up for themselves. I don't want them to be punching bags.

Tonight I instructed both of them to respond to the teasing by shooting back an insult - nothing physical, but I want them to loudly and confidently state something back that is really insulting to the person doing the teasing, and then walk away. My kids liked this idea, and went on the Internet looking for some good insults, and then they hurled them at each other for practice. I'm sure the school won't be happy with what I taught them, but maybe if those mean kids get insulted loud enough for their friends to hear a few times, they will stop the bullying. My kids have found some pretty good lines that don't include any profanity.

Ogress, I'm so sorry about your kids, and what they are going through, but I really don't think being mean back is the answer. I'm not saying they shouldn't repsond, but perhaps a better response would be something like. . .

"Really? I guess small minds just have mean mouths>" or

"It's a tiny mind that can't think up anything decent to say"

something or that sort - it then keeps your kids on the "right" path, and not being petty themselves.

I am looking into the Catholic School option. The local Catholic School has an outstanding reputation, and academically is in the top 5% of schools in the nation. Tuition is $6,000 per year. It is a lot less than most private schools out here, though I don't know if I can swing that. I am going to try. Alex's doctor and therapists had recommended the school to me many years ago because they cater to a child's strength, letting the kids each advance at their own pace. I can't afford to send both kids there, but maybe I can swing one. For parishioners, the price is about half, but I don't think it will be possible to convince my husband who is a card-carrying vocal atheist to join the church. (He does, however, donate to them on occasion when he hears of some of the many great things they do in the community and in the world - he specifies in the donations where the $ is to be used.) Hopefully there they would have no need for insults!

I would go to the school they are at now, and let them know that if they don't put a stop to the bullying, you are going to remove them from school, sue the school, AND each individual teacher, and board member, jointly and personally, (and anyone else in a position of responsibility)for not protecting them!

Every child has a right to be safe in school, and if the school isn't complying, they are at fault. I bet you could find an attorney who would take this on a contingency (or whatever it's called). Plus, with the settlement you could then afford a private school.

(It wouldn't hurt to have a doctor's letter about the state of the children psychologically to bolster your argument. GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING OR TAPE RECORD ALL CONVERSATIONS)

However, be aware, that nearly ALL schools will have some teasing to a greater or lesser degree. A different school doesn't guarantee they will be better off, although it certainly wouldn't be worse (I think).

Good luck