UPADATE!!!!
Thank you everyone for comments of support, all the texts and PMs. Please note I have not read through our thread..but wanted to post a quick post.
The "D" word was put on the table but neither of us is ready to throw away 20 years. We used to be best friends and we have decided to work on being this again. We have grown so very-very far apart that this is going to be a long journey..but we are both up for the challenge. He even said he would "talk"...(this is a mircle for him...LOL)...It will be a lot of give and take. I don't know if I will be able to get him to go to counseling....but I have some ideas to help us come back together close and I think he is up for the work out.
Please note that I don't want you to think it is ALL him...I am half the "problem" here...I have lots of things I need to do to help fix this. But I think w e are both going to try. We did talk about divorce, we also talked about just a temporary separation. We decided to stay together and try to work it out.
Again, thank you all for the support...I really need it.