My heart goes out to you. I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to Steven, so I can't say I know how you are feeling right now. I can empathize with you since I lost two little sister's who were 6 and 8, but it's so different when it's a child.
((((((((((( Hug )))))))))))))
And the baby chickens will help you through and offer a chanel for some of your emotions you will be feeling. God be with you.
Kate