Wearing pjs ALL day long??

[Dixiedoodle]

When did you stop letting you children wear nightwear all day long?

When my kids started walking, I would always change them into play clothes, after breakfast! They would have food on their nightclothes, so they got their face and hands washed, bottoms changed and new fresh clothes, every morning.

When we were growing up, my parents rule was that you didn't not come into the living areas with out "REAL' clothes on. We got up, went to the bathroom, returned to our room to dress, THEN we could come into the living/kitchen rooms of our house.

The reason I ask is because: I keep my grandbaby (18months old). He's been walking, since he was 10months, he's almost potty trained--definitely not a baby any more..

They bring him in his pjs EVERY morning, we have breakfast, I clean him up and dress him in clothes, shoes, socks that I have purchased for him. Well, at the end of week, I send all his pjs (that I wash, dry and fold), back home with him... His mother always waits until I say "I need his clothes' several times before she brings them back. She never returns the socks, shoes/boots, that I have purchased for him--unless I say--"I really need his boots, we are going for a hike tomorrow" or something that tells her EXACTLY what I want. May times she will say, "I don't have them, they aren't clean or I forgot." I even made a large 'shopping' bag for us to transport his clean things back and forth..

Well last week, I said (in a nice voice) 'honey, I really need some outer clothes. I am down to nothing matching, or they are too short..I also need some socks and shoes." and laughed saying "it seems like you end up with all the outer clothes and I end up with all the pjs!".
She was silent for a few minutes and then snapped "well, you really don't have to take his pjs off, on days you aren't going anywhere--HE IS A BABY!"

I was shocked, then I said= "after he eats breakfast , he really needs clean clothes on."He is feeding himself and usually has it all over him, his lap and floor"...


Now at their house --when she is not working, all the kids and she will stay in their pjs ALL day long. That's great if that's what she wants to do! It looks like they don't even brush their hair--on some days.. I have never said anything about this and have defended her 'decisions' when her sibling have mentioned this to me..

She doesn't pay me and has never paid for his (I purchase most of them on sale or at the local second hand store) clothes, footware, jackets, wipes,diapers, pullups or even his food that I use at my house. She offered to bring food/formual, --IF I let her know what I needed for him, in the beginning but since I knew what I needed and was at the groc store I would just get it.

So for this Grammie, can you share your thoughts on wear nightware all day long>> Thanks Dixie

 

[morelcabin]

Well I say to each his own, really...but get the outer clothes back...change him back into PJ's at the end of the day to send him home in...JMHO

 

[congdon476]

Really, truly- as a mom of two and someone who doesn't have grandparents around to help me out even on an occasional weekend... I'd let her kid stay in the dirty clothes until she realizes... "Hey, he looks and smells gross. Maybe I should bring a change of clothing for him"

Now, in the meantime... while he's with you or if you want to take him out, purchase some items that will STAY at your house. This will mean you have to dress him and undress him.... maybe even put him back in those gross PJs... but mom needs to get a reality check. She seems to be taking advantage of you and your "funding" of her son's wardrobe and it needs to stop. She should also be paying you a sitting service fee if you are the full time nanny.

I get that it isn't the child's fault that he has a spoiled mother, but if you keep enabling the non-returning of clothing and shoes, then things will never change. The likelihood of her threatening to take the child to daycare instead of leaving him with you is remote. If she could afford that, she would have done it already. Plus... she'll find out how much more restrictive they are on a change of clothing, food, etc. when she looks into it.

Stand your ground Grammie! Make sure SHE is the one bringing clean clothing and such to your house. Don't send that kid home in one more outfit. Change him back into the food covered PJ's shortly before she arrives and hand him back food covered and diaper bag empty of new clothing. She needs to learn to show gratitude and respect towards you.

 

[MissPrissy]

Make rules like a daycare center would require.

The baby (18 months is a baby in my book potty trained or not) must have a complete diaper bag each and every day. Clothes for the day and a change of clothes for accidents - Shirt, T-shirt, pants, socks, shoes x 2 and a coat, blanket and diapers.

What you have done is taken away the responsiblity of her being his mother and made it your job to feed and dress your grandchild.

How sad for her that she is irresponsible in this manner.

Tell her pointedly without making a laughing matter out of it. You are babysitting for free and you demand that she be more responsible and cooperative in his care. You may or may not have plans to go out for the day but you need to be prepared for anything that may occur while he is in your care.

Now, for the record, there are some days that I don't leave my house for any reason. We do stay in our pj's most of the day and end up after lunch getting dressed and making a move toward some simblance of balance and order. Those days are not every day but they are good days for us. Cold, rainy/snowy/icey days spent in warm, clean pj's by the fire with books and snacks. Makes for some great memories for me and mine.

My step-daughter was required to be dressed the minute she hopped out of bed. When I came along and we had a few long saturday mornings in pj's doing crafts and watching TV did a lot of good in taking the edge off her personality and making her comfortable in her own skin.

Hope things get better for you and that grandbaby.

 

[SterlingAcres]

MY SIL has dropped her daughters here in nothing but dirty pajamas, no diapers and no shoes. Once it went on for a few months of them ditching the kids here so they could eat, I said "Bring lunch", they brought those teeny individual boxes cereals. I was supposed to feed the kids apple jacks ALL day.

Some people aren't that bright.

 

[jnjross]

we stay in pj's when we're not going to leave the house,
but she should always bring him clothes! gees what if you need to go to town,

 

[Beau coop]

I am sorry to hear that you are being taken advantage of, even if you may have had a hand in enabling it

. I think MP is correct- you do need to establish some ground rules. When everyone understand the expectations it can alleviate a lot of tension and hurt feelings.

 

[PineBurrowPeeps]

My kids are still in PJ's right now at 10:20am. But we homeschool so no need there to jump up and dress each morning and sometimes we (usually on Sundays) have "loungy" days where we just hang out all day in PJ's. We've had more loungy days this winter than ever before due to the weather.

I personally don't see anything wrong with the baby being brought to you in PJ's if it's in the morning that he's coming to your house. I would see more wrong with it, if it was like at 3pm and she showed up with him still in PJ's.
My youngest is 3 and once a week my MIL takes my three kids for me to have a break, she gets them at about 9am. Now for us that's kind of early, we are not morning people by any strech of the imagination. BUT my kids have never gone to their house still in Pajamas. It sounds like she's just lazy. It is a mad rush on those mornings to get 5 people dressed and fed and then 24 animals cared for but we scramble and get it done.
My kids have brought PJ's and put them on around the time we were due to pick them in the evening but my kids are always dressed when they leave the house and I always pack extra clothing for the little one and for my middle girl who gets car sick sometimes.

I would do exactly what MissPriss said and lay it all out for her and not make light of it. If this is important to you then you need to speak your piece about it.
Sitting on those feelings and letting them build up isn't healthy for you.

 

[PineBurrowPeeps]

Quote:
LOVELY family member you have there

 

[Jenski]

Dixiedoodle, there is already plenty of good advice here so just let me say BLESS YOU for taking care of your grand-baby. My mother has done the same thing for years for my brother's children, with very little given in return. You are doing such a fine thing in passing along your love and wisdom to another generation with your care!

And thanks to all the grandparents out there who are giving of themselves and their time to nurture little ones! You are so very important to the world.