Welcome to my pond - Swim, wade, or sit on the bank

After 20 years of daily morphine use. Im going on day 6 of not taking a pain pill. I just stopped. I was up to 6 pills a day. Never became an addict tho. Ive been dealing with suicidal thoughts for 5 months. Im okay but have days where it's hard.
Still seeing Alisha things are okay there.... but i don't see her as much as i would like.... mostly it's divorce stuff. Plus she moved about 20 miles away in with her dad and i think she's worried about what he thinks her not even divorced yet.
This whole lockdown has really been hard. I was already messed up after the winter i had.
I miss my wife..... and some days i just want to die.
Im trying.... but i hate my life....i hate what's become of me. Then this week posits cane in and wiped my flock out.... only MEAN DUCK is left.
He came home all bloody but alive.....
 

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