Welcome to our money pit ... New pics of our progress

[speckledhen]

My condolences to your family. This is another case that shows how important having a will is. My DH and I made a will when our kids were very young (they are 32 and 30 now) and it hasn't been changed; obviously they arent minors and dont need to be placed with anyone, but the other stuff in the will is the same. Doesn't matter how old or how healthy you are, everyone needs a will, even a simple one, and someone needs to know where it is.

 

[AussieSharon]

I just wanted to add how very sorry I am for your loss and the troubles you are now having to deal with. *HUGS*

 

[Guitartists]

Thanks everyone...... today was hard for DH. Going through stuff and sending the dogs off was not easy. It really finalizes things for him, and up until then I think it almost seemed not quite so real yet.

 

[The Chicken Lady]

I'm sorry for your loss.

As for what to say to your DH... Sometimes the best thing to do isn't to say anything, but just be there for him. He probably won't be "at home" upstairs for a while, so just keep him fed, comfortable, doing normal activities, etc. Don't get upset if he forgets the romance in your relationship for a while while he copes with all the other crazy emotional stuff. Do some research online about the stages of grief, and that will help you to know what to look out for.

As for the family members, at least you know who to trust and who isn't worth your time, so you don't ever get tricked like your DH's father did. It's sad when those you can't trust are family, though.

Hang in there! We're here to listen when you need it.

 

[Mahonri]

Hang in there. It's always tough when someone dies and you end up picking up the pieces.

I agree with Opa also... take the high road.

 

[Guitartists]

Going to talk to the lawyer today with his sis....... hopefully probate will not be a nightmare.

 

[CUDA]

Sorry to hear about your loss, if there is anything I can do, just give me a call!

 

[Guitartists]

Thanks CUDA...... it's just a matter now of muddling through everything and figuring out how to get it done.

The funeral is tomorrow..... he didn't want one... but it makes the daughter feel better, so we're going with it

The Elks are sposed to be there also to do some kind of service. Ought to be interesting..... hopefully the idiot brother keeps his mouth shut. I think my DH is a half step away from losing his cool. If he complains about the title to the car I'm sure he'll be next into the hole.

We went and spoke with a lawyer...... like he says... our heart and our wallet are not in the same place. The house was appraised today and was less than 20. He owes 52 on it! We will most likely be able to assume the loan after the quick title change... IF we can get his brother to sign off. So... it's a matter of getting screwed and liking it! If things work out.... we'll simply be losing money to secure the home we want.... it could be worse. We would die if it got sold to someone not in the family. His grandfather designed and built the home and it has so much value to my husband. I don;t think he'd ever get over it if we lost it just because of money.

 

[Chicken Boo]

I am so sorry. Hugs.


My DH's father died in 1989 without a will with 7 kids, lots of property, little cash, lots of tricky property deals. He and his sister administered the estate (both with law degrees) to save the family the cost of outside probate. BIG MISTAKE. The estate was finalized about 10 years later. The family sued my DH and his DS 3 times. We are still not talking to one sib and barely talking to another. It sounds like there are possible snags in your dad's estate. Get an outside party to administer it so there is less chance of what happened to my DH. He is still heartbroken that members of his own family would stand up in court and call him a liar and a thief because they wanted cash. Good luck.

 

[Zookeeper9000]

Well I sure am sorry that you and your hubby have to deal with such crud at a time like this.

As far as the house goes, I sure hope that it works out for the best for both of you. I would not be surprised if that brother wouldn't want money for signing off on the house. He sounds like a piece of work.

Hang in there and hold your head up through all of this.