Welcome to the night shift

[Isadora]

Oh , help, emergency! Is this a male or female chicken!

I practically felt physical pain reading that.

 

[saysfaa]

Among the things I contemplate at 3 am:
Am I actually behind in getting the garden in or how far behind am I? Does it matter? What are the next most important things to get in soonest?

I think the squash have been my favorite crop so far and I don't think I will plant any this year. Or maybe it is worth putting deer fencing around a big enough area? Probably not. Maybe I should rethink the strategy for getting the squash borer population down enough to get some squash this year too.

Hm, the chickens are officially hens now... one year old last week or so. I've enjoyed them more than the most I expected to.

They liked getting their dust bath renovated even if I forgot they like it best when it is damp. Poor dears didn't get dampness until so late in the day.

Better these things than what the FDA is doing about supplements. Or what China is doing in Hong Kong. Or...

Whitewashing the coop should be fun. Better to get more of the garden in first. Next to plant - the rest of the onions, I think. If they get enough start, they should do okay under the asparagus ... note to self: check if companion planting charts mention onions among asparagus. Among the strawberries is better but I might have to take them out to get that wood sorrel or whatever it is out.

Maybe I can get back to sleep?

 

[Callender Girl]

I have to admit, I enjoyed traveling through your morning minefield of thoughts. It reminds me of the jumble of stuff I think about when I can't sleep.

I hope you got back to sleep shortly after you posted. And, BTW, I've read that onions should not be planted near asparagus.

Sweet dreams!

 

[saysfaa]

I did get back to sleep! It took a while.

Thank you for saving me the time of looking up onions and asparagus.

Spice was such a silly chicken this week. I have two rooms to my shed, divided by garden fence and a sliding screen door. The chickens get the back 8 feet and storage for chickens and garden gets the front 6 feet.

I usually let the chickens have recess in the front. Spice went for a second recess and dove through a gap I thought was too narrow for her. Well, it was, for the most part. It was a little traumatic for her; and me as I nearly stepped on her. She squawked and tried to scramble back but, duh, the door was in the way. She tried a couple of times, then cowered beside it until I set things down and helped her.

We got things sorted out. But since then she has been convinced she can't get back from the front section. She looks at the opening and then cowers beside it. We are making progress on recovering. Silly chicken.

Only four deer in the field behind the house tonight. We shine them most nights. We always see four to six. Last week I saw seventeen, at least. I need to get the deer tape up above the garden fence this weekend. They don't bother jumping the five foot fence for the weeds but there is too much chance they will for peas. The deer tape makes the fence 7 feet high. Some whitetails can clear that but they aren't likely to try going into that smallish space.

 

[Callender Girl]

Hope Spice recovers from her "trauma.," poor goofy hen!

I rarely see whitetails here, but when I lived in town, my backyard dropped into a wooded area and then Soldier Creek, which was a perfect setting for deer. A renter, who moved in next door from New York City, had never seen deer in the wild and promptly started feeding them. That resulted in a literal deer run through my backyard.

One day, I left for work and had a 10-foot tall evergreen in the front yard. When I came home, I had a topiary, as the deer had eaten everything but a topknot of greenery. I bought wrought iron fencing for the small patch of flowers I was able to grow in the backyard. Like you said, it was a small enough space that the deer avoided trying to get in.

On the plus side, it was like having "Animal Planet" in my own yard. I got to watch pregnant does return with their fawns, warring mama's duke it out over territory and stare back at big-racked bucks as they raided my bird feeders. I figured I might as well enjoy it, since it was a battle I couldn't win.

I learned that if I went out to fill the feeders, moved slowly and turned so it appeared I wasn't looking at the deer, they would often let me within just a few feet before their better instincts kicked in and they ran off. I think it also had something to do with the limits of their vision. Visitors who pulled into my driveway were always astounded that the critters in the backyard just stood there, staring back, apparently fearless.

Thanks for reviving those memories for me.

 

[saysfaa]

How long do I keep the things I saved/collected for my grandchildren?

I have five kids, the youngest is over 25 now. I thought I would have grandchildren by now, probably many. They all (except maybe the youngest) want children quite badly to extremely badly. It isn't happening for at least a year; likely not more than one for several years.

I had lots of storage space until covid happened in the middle of relocating. If we had known it would be so long in this very small temporary house, we would have disposed of the bulk of things (not just grandchildren stuff) Even at today's prices, we could replace it for what we have paid in rent for the storage unit just so far and we've given up looking for a house.

Some is the many-times thinned down basics from when mine were babies. Some is the best, hardest to replace of the toys from when mine were young (the knex, the wooden train tracks, the matchbox cars, and such).
Some is never-find-again treasures - unique or very high quality things from garage sales type.

Even with lots of storage space, I probably would not have kept more than one small box for up to 20-30 years.

So, it seems a no-brainer to declutter nearly all of it. But seems unwise to keep it decades and then dispose of it a year before the grandchildren start coming. Especially with prices rising so much. But it might be many more years. Or never.

What do y'all recommend?

Part of the issue is I am done keeping heirlooms, might-be-worth-something things, really cool things, ect. Too much pain involved from an extended family that can't be reasonable about stuff... both ends of the spectrum. All three or four ends, for that matter.

None of my kids want any heirlooms anyway. Lol, they are wiser than me; they say, "taken notes, please," - don't do these things when it is their turn.

Well, the headache is still here but less. And my teeth still throb but less. Most of the nausea is gone. If I had to be a target for unreasonable emotions, I'm glad it was of extended family rather than immediate family.

 

[Callender Girl]

Since his death, more than seven months ago, I have been going through the belongings of someone who was a collector of many diverse things. He had things he'd kept for decades and added more stuff all the time.

I let Jim's son take what he wanted, but I am still left with so much stuff, and there are two storage units full of even more. What to take, what to keep, what to sell -- because there are some valuable vintage tools and antiques -- is almost a daily struggle.

Sometimes, I will look at something that has literally been in my way for years and realize I'm keeping it there for someone who is never coming back.

I think you are being pretty reasonable in your approach -- analyzing and questioning what should stay, what should go. I suspect it will take me more than another year -- at the very least -- to pare down what needs to go.

Sometimes, I realize I'm just keeping things that he loved, like a cheap, little ceramic squirrel from his mom's house that he got when she was dying -- one of the few things from his childhood that brought him happy memories. I will have that stupid squirrel for the rest of my life.

There is one chest of drawers that is devoted to the most special "Jim stuff." Slowly, I am figuring out what to do with the rest. Maybe you can dedicate one small area to those someday-appreciative grandkids?

And, I say, keep some of your childhood things. When I go through mine, I get to relive happier, simpler times. At the very least, take some photos. I did when I had to clean out my old house -- which I was using as a de facto storage unit some years ago. The pictures still bring back the memories but are much easier to store on my phone than all the physical room that used to be needed.

I am sorry that your kids don't value the same things in the same way you do. And, I hope you continue to feel better. Take care.

 

[saysfaa]

Heart is closest to hug of the "likes". Like didn't seem what I meant.

Yes, that is emminantly familiar. We've been working on my dad's for over five years... similar mix but more buildings.

I don't mind my kids not being interested. My dad held things so tight that he defeated his stated purpose of "saving" it. They've never seen much of the legacy stuff. I know I want the things associated with good memories - needs to be seen for that. And all of us experienced what happened what you tried to use (or even just touched) the hammer that looks like every other hammer but he remembered as the hammer his grandpa built his house with. Or the iron widget that might be worth something or "go to something" even though you picked it out of an open bucket of rusty water under the drip edge. No good memories there.

He taught me to care too much about stuff. My mom lived longer than he did. Eventually, I figured out we had different definitions of "cleaned up". I thought it meant "the junk thrown away, the excess sold or given away, and the rest stored neatly under a roof and behind doors, and protected from mice, insects, and mold." She thought it mean gone. All of it completely gone. No good memories for my kids there either. Some of the neighbors were happy to cherry pick through the easiest parts. She knew everyone in the county and thought everyone she knew was a good friend and honest. Including her realtor. And she didn't have facebook to see what they sold it for the next day. Or know how to do comps on real estate. No good memories there either.

Yesterday was aftermath of my uncle (my dad's brother who probably cared more about stuff than my dad did) finding out what his stepson was doing to clear the house and barn that he (uncle) had sold because he had to move into assisted living (against his will) because his wife needs more help. Only I got caught in the crosshairs between them and between them and my brother who is very deep into family history but couldn't go to the sale on Saturday.

 

[saysfaa]

Wow, writing that was more helpful than I expected. I tried to express what happened to someone last night, after I had started to recover somewhat, and it all resurged stronger and clamped down harder. This is major progress in dealing with it.

I am glad it will be a sunny morning today, though.

 

[Callender Girl]

Thanks and yes, sometimes the available emoji's don't quite fit.

I find writing things out is often helpful (of course, I spent the majority of my career working in newsrooms. I used to tell people my columns were really just therapy for me; they could read them or not).

It's crazy how stuff becomes a battleground when someone dies. I let Jim's son come pick anything he wanted, and I was surprised at some of the things he took. But, they all reminded him of his dad, so I was fine with that. In contrast, when Jim's mom died, things got ugly with one of the siblings.

Jim collected bookcases full of books -- which were also stuffed in anywhere they would fit. Three of his friends, who are more knowledgeable about some of the topics he valued, came in last fall and took the majority of his specialized books. The plan was to sell the entire lot of a bookseller we all know who deals in those types of books.

However, in doing some research, one of the friends held back a set of two books -- because she learned those two were worth $250 by themselves, and she gave me the money. So, they were good friends, indeed, because all they got from helping was the few (much cheaper) books they chose to keep for themselves.

I wish I could say Jim took great care of all of his collectibles, but I continue to find new things tucked away in the garage or barn, certainly not well protected. I am hanging on to one very rusty tool because it always makes me remember better days with him.

My dad died six years ago, and my sister still lives in our hometown. She is desperately attached to anything and everything that was his. I am letting her decide when she is ready to let things go because she has more sentimental attachment to all the rusty, dusty stuff.

Sorry you got caught up in family drama.