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it's not ridiculous at all. i would say most humane is pithing, then hatchet,
and last slicing the jugular.
i haven't processed any myself yet, but i used to watch my grandmother all the time. she always chopped the heads off with a hatchet. it's a quick death, really humane. but the body does suffer a major shock, which could lead to bruising of the meat (from the flailing around).
pithing should be completely painless for the bird (other than maybe the initial discomfort of having something stuck it it's throat) since it instantly severs the spinal cord. because the birds suffer almost no stress, they bleed out better and their muscles don't contract unduly, allowing the feathers to come out neatly. (this is the reason that the poultry industry electrocutes the birds. it's faster for them than pithing, but it's not practical for home slaughter. and something about it just feels wrong to me.)
slicing the jugular only is probably the most traumatizing for the animal. while the other methods sever the spinal cord, causing instant death, if you just slice the neck, the animal doesn't actually die until it looses enough blood or it suffocates. it's aware of the pain and panics, which leads to more bruising of the meat and the possibility of blood being aspirated.