What did you all do about your dissaproving DH?

[ChickensInTheNorthWoods]

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Well said! I was surprised to see people giving advice that could ruin a marriage - OVER A CHICKEN! I know in my marriage (i may only be 33 but Ive been married 15 yrs) communication has been very important. I suggest that you and your DH sit down and discuss this at home and hopefully you can work it out. I would not go and buy the chick behind his back. Once he sees how wonderful the birds you have now are I am sure you will be able to expand your flock - I started out with 6 birds and once my DW realized what a pleasure they were to have and care for she was asking me if we could get more! (and yes they were originally - MY project!)

 

[Rebekah]

Our deal was that I got the chickens, and he got to buy more beer-drinking gnomes. It was painful, but I relented. We now have three in the garden and he's obsessively searching for one more... but in the end, I have my new babies!!

But seriously, it has to be a compromise. If he truly hates the chickens and he is tolerating the several you already have, I think you have to be happy with that. We also have a "veto" rule. Basically, a reasonable "no" from one of us always works to put the keibash on something that will affect both of us.

Good luck. You never know - if you remain gracious and understanding about his position, he may come around.

 

[cthrash1]

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My hubby was amazed that there wasn't any odor like he thought there would be.

 

[Wifezilla]

I was at a stalemate with convincing my partner - he was vetoing the idea of getting chickens, and I didn't feel like I could just go ahead and get them without his consent, not for money reasons, but because living with chickens would affect him too.

We also have a "veto" rule. Basically, a reasonable "no" from one of us always works to put the kebash on something that will affect both of us.

Same here. The ducks were totally my idea and hubby was against it. Not because he has an aversion to poultry, he was just looking forward to our cat passing on (she is 19 after all) and having a pet free home for a while. Then our son joined the army and we inherited his 2 cats. So much for that idea. Plus with the economy going to pot, he liked the idea of a steady supply fresh eggs.

So with his ok, I went ahead and got the ducks. Since then he has helped me build a nice predator safe pen and he even dug them a pond. He thinks they are very entertaining

 

[hikerchick]

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Divorce would be preferable to living with someone who thinks he has a God-given right to have the final say over my decisions. Heck no! If that is what marriage is supposed to be, then no wonder over half of them fail. People require personal freedom; without it, we wither and die. Wars have been fought over this.

 

[babylady4]

I have been married for 15 years and been with my husband for 20. He has gone out and made purchases without my permission for his hobby (engine repair) and I have done the same. We are both adult enough to realize what the other needs to continue with their intrests, and know what is within reason for an amount of a purchase. He KNOWS I love animals and will have what I like, his only request has been no small rodents and no snakes. I can live with that (although, I would LOVE a corn snake!!!). My request is that he does not nickel and dime us to death with his endless supply of cars, lawn tractors, rototillers.....

I have posted before, any marriage should be a PARTNERSHIP not a dictatorship. My husband has the sense to NOT flat out tell me no, without giving me his reasons behind his answer. I respect him enough to take his request into consideration and also give him my reasons. Sometimes he changes his mind, sometimes I change mine. If he ever decided to dictate to me how I should live my life he would be shown the door. I am not going to have someone tell me what I can and cannot do, I have seen too many friends follow that 'man is the leader' garbage and they have miserable lives. Spouses who treat them like children or worse......

It sounds like you two need to sit and have a major discussion on your relationship. Find out what his issue really is about this.

Good luck, wish you the best!

 

[AHappychick]

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please some beer drinking gnome pics

 

[hikerchick]

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very well said.

 

[ChickBond 007]

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Um, picture please of beer drinking gnomes. Cannot stop laughing and quickly googling this....

 

[Chicks_N_Horses]

Hikerchick - most fail because folks don't want to work them out - they want to do what they want regardless of how their spouse feels and that is selfish IMO If a spouse genuinly isn't into something than the other should seriously consider that and understand why they feel that way and find a common ground so the both are happy...Not have the attitude of I can have what I want and I don't care if you don't like it.

My DH does not like horses, he is NO cowboy but we have come to a decision that I will not ever buy another horse again and stick with what I have. My dream is to have a horse ranch full of hundreds of horses but I married a man who like I said is no cowboy so we had to find a common ground. I get to have several horses, sure it isn't the dream ranch I want, but I have horses and am plenty happy for it and for the most part he tries to enjoy the ones I have. But I don't go out and by more even though I have found several that would take my competition level up a notch or two for sure! I made a deal though and I am going to respect it so that my DH may continue to be happy and stress free and enjoy horses without feeling overrun by them...and me.

When your DH is the head of your family then that does not mean your relationship is a dictatorship -

I would be willing to bet every single thing I own that any woman could spend one week at my home and see what a real marriage is all about and the enormous love and bond that a man and woman can have and that she won't think for a split second after that that my DH is a controllive man to me or a dictator.