What did you all do about your dissaproving DH?

[mrsengeseth]

silkies sucked him over to the dark side. He's the guy who flipped out about me wanting them, had experiences in uncles chicken coop with aggressive hens protecting their eggs as a child etc etc. the smell will get too much, yadda yadda yadda.

Well, now muppet is by herself, her hatch didn't take and so is truly alone. Mr "I-hate-chickens" has since told me to find her more poodle chickens. So now I get to have more. LOL, pathetic little silkie Muppet, draged him over to the dark side.

However, my chickens are mine, I wanted them, I need to take care of them. Selling their eggs keeps them in food and shavings. I maintain their coops (he will help withthe things i simply can't. (I have a minor disability, so some things physically i cannot do) But he is basically hands off with them. I dont' expect his help, but gush all about it when he does, because I know how much he doens't like them. (till muppet came around). He isn't finacially strapped with "another animal I dragged home". And slowly they are charming him with their simple likes and easy demeanor. Not at all the same hens that were on the farm as a kid.

My advise is to talk about it. Come to an agreement. If you want them, make sure it's clear you will take care of thier needs 100%. See what EXACTLY are his objections...smell, predators, mice, etc etc etc. Explain how you plan to midigate those concerns.

Hubby read over my shoulder, and adds, the egg fresh breakfasts sure helped my cause!

 

[Msbear]

The problem is your opinion had nothing to do with her question. What she posted on the internet was a post wanting some advice as to how to convince her hubby to let her get a chick. Some folks interpretted this as an opressed woman in need of an awakening. The can of worms was opened and the feeding frenzy began. And, please don't feel singled out. There are pages and pages of women who feel very strongly about this issue, as do I and couldn't help but toss in their two cents.

I don't blame the OP at all for starting this. She never asked how to deal with a "controlling husband."

 

[hikerchick]

If someone were playing on train tracks and asked for ways to do so without getting hit by a train I would feel honor bound to tell them that the only way to avoid getting hit is to get off the track.

Whether or not that was the answer they were looking for.

You have to be true to yourself, always.

 

[Judy]

Quote:
Valid point. It's easy to get sucked into responding to responses instead of the original post, especially since there are bound to be strong feelings on a subject like this out there.

As for your last sentence, in a sense, this is just what she asked, though no negative label similar to "controlling husband" was part of the post at all.

 

[klf73]

Quote:
the situation changes completely once kids are involved, it's a whole new level and a lot more responsiblity....

Why would you assume I don't have kids? I raised my child by myself. It is not impossible.

I never said you didn't, I was referring to how things are handled. When children are involved is adds complexity to the situation. The do what I want attitude doesn't cut it if he is a great dad other than not letting his son have a chicken. A single chicken is not a relationship breaker IMO. This is minor and is being made into a major thing.

 

[klf73]

Quote:
your analogy is a bit extreme.
Yes, you should always be true to yourself but to be in a successful marriage sacrifice needs to be made on both sides, period. We have cats, dh is allergic but got them for the kids cuz they really wanted them. He has a motorcycle and I am a wreck every time he goes out on it because I have seen too many cars running them over here, but I don't say I don't want you to go because he enjoys it. On the flip side he stopped parachute jumping(miliarty) when I asked him to because it is extremely dangerous and he had already had 2 failed chutes...reasonable request and he understood. communication is key

 

[sangel4you]

WOW.

BACK DOWN LADIES! Geez! First of all, hikerchick, I never singled you out! And actually your posts WERE NOT the most offending ones to me. IT was the women that came here calling my DH names etc without even knowing him and or our situation.
As far as asking for help with a controling DH..MSBear your are correct...that is NOT what I asked and since you all are speculating so much I feel compelled to tell you that it is ME who wears the pants around here, not him! However I knew another chick would most likely upset his already distaste on the matter, so I decided to ask him opinion on the matter. And when he gave it to me, with valid reason even though it wasnt what I wanted to hear, my brain still let me see the logic in his response and I DID NOT get the chick. I did however know that there were other women on this board who's DH's didnt like their chickens one ounce when they first got them. ALL I wanted to know was how they got their DH's to like them?! And to those of you that actually answered my question I greatly appreciate it.
This is why I am so upset by the "runaway train post", because here I asked a simple CHICKEN related question did NOT broadcast my relationship for scrutiny, and yet 21 pages later I have more of that, than answers to my question. Hence the reason I was upset the post ran away. it's taken an immense amount of my time to read over the posts every two or three days and quite honestly, I got sick of wasting my time reading about my marriage that you all dont know diddly squat about and for the most part gave up on getting actual answers. DH and I have discussed the new chick, and have come to an agreement, but I have to tell you after all this I plan on printing the convo out so he can get a good laugh at what a "controlling selfish arse" of a husband he is LMAO

And one more thing, as far as being hostile like I said hikerchick I wasnt pointing you out. To me you just had a strong anti marriage opinion and IMO that's fine. You're not me so I dont give a rats ... and in all honesty besides my own, I dont have a strong liking to marriage either... I feel many people way over use the sancitiy of marriage for the wrong reasons. But if things werent considered hostile before... I certainly feel as though I'm being attacked now. All because I wanted a simple chicken question answered and I got upset when I got 18 out of 21 pages of marriage BS and then I get chewed a new for for that with the "well she asked for is" discussion when in reality...I never did. Maybe people need to be more literal in their cohereance of words.
Sorry this was such a strong post, its just I have made what three? posts total on this thread that I started and yet once again feel like this has turned into a nasty cold place instead of an informative warm board and frankly it pisses me off. I cant believe the amount of time ppl must have spent on this lousy thread. Glad you made friends hikerchick bc imo this board is becoming increasingly difficult to make friends at all unless you have extrememly strong opinions and they're EXACTLY like someone elses.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

sangel4you, I am sorry you have felt attacked here. I have things I'd like to share, too, but I am leaving them out.

I will tell you this: My husband wasn't that keen on the idea of my chickens at first either. His reasoning was based on a financial aspect, and how much we spend on feed in a month.

I honestly do not know what won my husband over to my chickens. If I knew the answer to that, I would tell you. What I do know is I had several different breeds to start. Just a few. Sussex, Orpingtons, and a few bantams. My husband gets the biggest kick out of the bantams because they seem to think they are 10 times bigger than they are.

As my chicks grew into chickens, and their feathers came in, I'd hear comments from him that, "Oh look how pretty that one is" or "I really like that one-can you get more like that?"

I now have over 100+ chickens.

I'd also like to add I paid for my own chickens, and DH and I built the first few coops together. My current coop my girlfriends and I are building due to the fact that my DH had to have back surgery 2 weeks ago.

 

[sangel4you]

Quote:
oh wow! LOL a sex and the city coop building party! LOL do you drink cosmos on your break too? :-D Thats awesome!

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Quote:
oh wow! LOL a sex and the city coop building party! LOL do you drink cosmos on your break too? :-D Thats awesome!

ROTFL No, no cosmos, but we did go shopping later and hit a few yard sales. Then the next morning we hit the local Farmer's Market and more yard sales.

Oh and we grilled out~steaks!