What do you do when you catch a friend cheating??

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Xtina, Jul 22, 2010.

  1. Xtina

    Xtina Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jul 1, 2008
    Portland, Oregon
    I'm in the middle of a moral dilemma here, compounded by the fact that my husband and I tend to agree on the best course of action in this type of situation. Further compounded by the complexity of the "catching." Here's the story:

    His best friend was just spotted at a restaurant, kissing a girl who was not his girlfriend, by a couple who is mutual friends with all of us. The couple who spotted this called us to see if we knew whether or not they are in an open relationship or not. We are pretty sure they're not, but it is possible that they are and we just don't know it.

    I normally go for the tattletale route as being the most ethical, although I admit I don't know the best, least hurtful way to tattle. My husband goes for the "not our business" route and prefers to stay out of things, which I fully understand. Does anyone have any advice?
  2. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    I sure do have advice. Stay out of it unless you know the WHOLE story, every last morsel. Many friendships have been destroyed over people wanting to help in a situation like this. Make sure you know the FACTS before you open your mouth.
  3. PotterWatch

    PotterWatch My Patronus is a Chicken

    Apr 22, 2008
    I agree. Unless you saw it for yourself I wouldn't take your knowledge any further.
  4. Thomas423

    Thomas423 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 21, 2009
    Port Deposit, MD
    If you are not friends enough to know if it is an open relationship or not, it's best to stay out of it.
  5. SunnyDawn

    SunnyDawn Sun Lovin' Lizard

    Sep 12, 2009
    Nor Cal
    I agree! That kind of situation never ends well for the tattler.
  6. Xtina

    Xtina Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jul 1, 2008
    Portland, Oregon
    Three quick answers in agreement. That certainly makes me think that your opinions are the best choice. Especially since I see that one of you is a grandmother, and therefore probably has a whole lot of life experience to back up the opinion.

    I do want to ask, has any of you been cheated on? If not, do you think your answer would still be the same if you had been? I've never been cheated on, but I can imagine the humiliation if I found out I had been and everyone knew it but me.
  7. Xtina

    Xtina Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jul 1, 2008
    Portland, Oregon
    And one other thing: What about the option of asking him about it?

    I forgot to say that the two couples met eyes and the "cheater" and woman left the restaurant immediately.

    In response to the point about how good of friends could we be if we don't know that they're in a committed relationship: I think it's just our instinct to want to believe that there's more to this than meets the eye. We have hung out with this couple a LOT over the past few years, and like I said, it's my husband's best friend.
  8. Mahonri

    Mahonri Urban Desert Chicken Enthusiast Premium Member

    May 14, 2008
    North Phoenix
    My Coop
    Stay out of it.
  9. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    It depends...
    Are you CLOSE friends with the girl??
    If so.... i would expect my friend to tell me what folks were saying about my man...
    True or not... i would want to know... so i could make my own decisions...

    If youre not close friends with them.... mind your own.... [​IMG]
  10. Xtina

    Xtina Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jul 1, 2008
    Portland, Oregon
    We could be closer. But I consider her a real friend to whom I owe some sort of loyalty.

BackYard Chickens is proudly sponsored by