What do you do when you catch a friend cheating??

[Xtina]

I'm in the middle of a moral dilemma here, compounded by the fact that my husband and I tend to agree on the best course of action in this type of situation. Further compounded by the complexity of the "catching." Here's the story:

His best friend was just spotted at a restaurant, kissing a girl who was not his girlfriend, by a couple who is mutual friends with all of us. The couple who spotted this called us to see if we knew whether or not they are in an open relationship or not. We are pretty sure they're not, but it is possible that they are and we just don't know it.

I normally go for the tattletale route as being the most ethical, although I admit I don't know the best, least hurtful way to tattle. My husband goes for the "not our business" route and prefers to stay out of things, which I fully understand. Does anyone have any advice?

 

[debilorrah]

I sure do have advice. Stay out of it unless you know the WHOLE story, every last morsel. Many friendships have been destroyed over people wanting to help in a situation like this. Make sure you know the FACTS before you open your mouth.

 

[PotterWatch]

I agree. Unless you saw it for yourself I wouldn't take your knowledge any further.

 

[Thomas423]

If you are not friends enough to know if it is an open relationship or not, it's best to stay out of it.

 

[SunnyDawn]

I agree! That kind of situation never ends well for the tattler.

 

[Xtina]

Three quick answers in agreement. That certainly makes me think that your opinions are the best choice. Especially since I see that one of you is a grandmother, and therefore probably has a whole lot of life experience to back up the opinion.

I do want to ask, has any of you been cheated on? If not, do you think your answer would still be the same if you had been? I've never been cheated on, but I can imagine the humiliation if I found out I had been and everyone knew it but me.

 

[Xtina]

And one other thing: What about the option of asking him about it?

I forgot to say that the two couples met eyes and the "cheater" and woman left the restaurant immediately.

In response to the point about how good of friends could we be if we don't know that they're in a committed relationship: I think it's just our instinct to want to believe that there's more to this than meets the eye. We have hung out with this couple a LOT over the past few years, and like I said, it's my husband's best friend.

 

[Mahonri]

Stay out of it.

 

[redhen]

It depends...
Are you CLOSE friends with the girl??
If so.... i would expect my friend to tell me what folks were saying about my man...
True or not... i would want to know... so i could make my own decisions...

If youre not close friends with them.... mind your own....

 

[Xtina]

We could be closer. But I consider her a real friend to whom I owe some sort of loyalty.