Nick: only dead fish go with the flow
Dad: It's all good, just relax and it will pass.
Mom: Every experience, even bad ones are meant for us to learn from. also try to learn from other people's experiences
Brothers: Mom and Dad taught all of us to walk and talk. now all they want us to do is sit down and shut up!
Sister: DON'T GET PREGNANT! (best advice ANYONE could give a young lady!)
Grandpa: eat your vegetables, leave my "shrooms" alone!
Grandma: Grandpa is a F***ing hippie. don't turn out like him!
best friend Robby: Don't carry your eggs in a basket across the road if you can't count your chickens!.... wait... nevermind...
Glen: Thomas is an Idiot (also good advice)
Janessa: Hunting is good for the soul ONLY when you eat what you killed.
EDIT: i've seen so much good advice from you guys so far! keep it comin', i'll be reading!