Well, tonight having chickens actually brought about a bonding moment - a shared laugh between me and my dad. We don't often laugh, at least not at the same time! Let's back up a few years. I figured out I was gay in high school. My parents figured it out shortly after when they found a "Dear John" love note I had written. My dad cried anytime he looked at me for weeks after that. I didn't mean to be gay, I guess I missed that question on the form. I do that sometimes, get bored during difficult multiple-choice tests and just start randomly picking answers. I don't think that happened on the gay question. I never had a choice, kinda like a baby chick born with 3 legs or an extra head, just something I am stuck with. Despite being moderately good looking and possessing the ability to cheer people and make them laugh, I have never felt liked or comfortable around other people, probably because I never liked myself. I always managed to feel awkward in completely comfortable, relaxed situations. I have disliked myself so much that I have tried to "punch my own ticket" on more than one occasion. Moving back home this year to help Mom and Dad while he battles brain cancer has been good for me, it has allowed me to finish growing up, something I think I left partly undone when I rushed away from home in a small-town weeks after high school graduation. It has allowed me to get to know my parents as fellow adults and also for them to see me as the same. But anyway, back to the subject of my post, a friend of mine said "Congrats on your chicks, I bet your parents are proud that you finally brought chicks home!" I read this while I was in the same room as Mom and Dad and they asked what was funny. I read them the email and Dad laughed and said he wanted to make a similar comment weeks ago, but did not want to hurt my feelings. I told him I thought it was funny and we laughed together. Well, not sure why I posted this on here, except BYC is kinda my only social outlet right now. I think I needed to get this out! I feel better now, G'night fellow BYCers
Your sexuality has nothing to do with the person you are, and from that post, you are an awesome person. I am sure your dad is happy to have you home with him for his remaining days on earth. And PLEASE, never stop being true to yourself to please another.
IRoo you tell a pretty good story, it just flows and it's good for us all to be able to laugh at ourselves. Also I want to tell you that I'm glad you didn't punch your ticket too hard
My cousin had very similar difficulties as you have had. He tried several times to 'escape'. When he was 16 he was finally successful. Now his dad is elderly and has serious health issues that make it necessary to have daily care. He misses his son terribly, and would give anything to still be able to laugh with him like you did with your dad. Cherish this time with your parents, it is all too fleeting. My mom was diagnosed with brain cancer, a particularly virulent variety. We spent the next 18 months with her until her passing. I still feel like I needed just a little more time with her, even though she lived a year longer than her doctor said she would.
What a cool story--made me laugh and nearly cry all at the same time. You do tell a good story. And Debi is right about being true to yourself; gay or straight, purple or green, tall or short. You are who you are and be proud of it. Heck, you sound like someone I'd like to hang out with! Good luck with your dad. I'm so glad you have the opportunity to spend this time with him, and I'm sure he feels the same way. No matter what, you are his son and it sounds like he loves you very much. edited for lousy punctuation
