What should we do...re: neighbors...

[go-veggie]

I am so sorry this happened to your kitty and your family! I agree with everyone here, but the bottom line is that the husband told you his step-son threw a cat away. You have the right to ask him if he would allow you to at least see the poor cat in his garbage. If it is yours, you take her home and give her the proper burial your family needs. If he's a cop, he should respect that you want to see evidence or identify remains. We have the neighbors from hell by our house and I can tell you that walking on eggshells around neighbors and trying to keep the peace by never standing up for yourself and what you know is right, is not the best answer in every situation. Go and get your cat, please. Don't be intimidated by them...at least ask...I understand you don't want to "start" anything, if they don't let you see their trash for some reason, maybe you can have someone wait for the garbage man and tell him what happened and ask him to gently empty the can so you can try to get the cat out. Oh, I wish I could help you more. Best wishes to you and your family...

 

[sred98]

Sigh...DH is insistent that I let it go.

I am NOT that type of person!

I understand his point that she is afraid to damage our friendship, and is emabarrassed, but I don't want to speak to her ever again.

If I do, it won't be nice. What is going to make me go over the top is if she tells me after the trash has come and I can't bury her. I am just sooo upset about this. To have a grown woman bald-faced lie to me is just too much. DH says to keep quiet until we move out of here. We're building in the country, which is why I wanted to take Mimi there and bury her! This is just a bad situatin all the way around. DH is not being supportive, and he thinks I am being unreasonable. Plus, there's this little part of me that is thinking, "Maybe it's not her?" When I know it is! If someone had her, they'd know she belonged to someone. She was a calico persian, so she didn't look like a regular cat. My dog goes to the corner of the fence everytime she's out, and just sits there. I've peeked through the fence, but they have removed her. I did find where she accidentally went in, because there was a part of a plank missing (wood fence) and little claw marks where she dug in while he pulled her in the yard. (He is a large pit, so I know they aren't his marks!)

The whole thing is just really upsetting, and I appreciate everyone's support.

Mimi was the sweetest cat. She was so calm and good natured. She loved getting bathed, and especially loved the blow-dry afterward! LOL! I got her about 2 years ago, but she was about 13 when she disappeared. She would sit and sun herself in the window, or sit under a table and watch the birds outside. That's why we didn't realize she was missing, until dinnertime. She was not a demanding cat, but not overly affectionate, either. About twice a week, she'd hop in our laps for some serious loving time. We'd brush her and groom her and she was in Heaven. Then, occasionally, when I would make Cafe Au Lait, she would insist on a teaspoon of heavy cream when we had our coffee. Sometimes I would have to spell the word to DH, because when she heard it, she'd start following me. She was a very unique cat.

Thanks for listening,

Shelly

 

[Guitartists]

I would explain to them that she was a dear pet and you want to bury her, if indeed it was Mimi... explain that it is important to determine if the dead cat WAS your cat, so that you know whether or not to continue searching for her.

It's important that you know one way or the other. Explain that you understand that accidents happen. Dogs will be dogs. But you deserve and need closure.


If all else fails... wait for trash day and stand out there and explain to the garbage men that you need to know if it was your cat. Hopefully they will understand and help you look. I would think that once the garbage truck shows up, it becomes THEIR trash

 

[lizardz]

Oh Shelly, I'm so sorry. I recently lost a beloved cat, although not under such horrible circumstances. I know I would have been beside myself if I had not been able to bury him at our home. While it is often good to listen to the advice your husband gives, sometimes you have to do what's right for you. I suggest speaking to your husband and telling him how important it is to you and that while you understand his viewpoint, this is something you need to do. Then, speak to the husband, telling him what you said earlier. I know as this goes on longer, you'll just become more angry and bitter, so hold your original intent in your heart when you approach him. You know the wife didn't want to create trouble and probably felt really bad about what happened, so give her the benefit of the doubt that she just panicked and wishes she could go back (haven't we all had moments like that). If this is important to you, if you need this for both yourself and your children, keep that desire in mind and come from your heart when speaking to your neighbors.

I hope you are able to do what will set your heart at ease. Hugs to you in your time of sorrow

Liz

 

[PurpleChicken]

Sounds like you already know what happened to the cat. Let it go. You also now know
the neighbors have very little character that they wouldn't tell the truth.

 

[seminolewind]

I would take my oldest child and go over there and ask if you can fish the cat out of the trash. How can they say no? Tears help.
If you find the cat in the trash, quickly put it in a bag so your child doesn't see it. It could be awful. I wouldn't want my child to see that.

 

[Buster]

I agree with PC and your husband. Some things you just have to let go. It is a shame that your neighbors can't be honest about it, but it does show their character. You just have to remember that for future dealings with them. Sorry that this happened to you.

 

[PineBurrowPeeps]

If you really want to stick it to them call the local trash people and explain that you know for certain that these people threw a dead cat in their trash. Or call animal control and complain about the dog, explain that you have kids and you worry that if he could kill your cat he might be a safety issue towards your kids, they may even quarentine him for a bit. That'll teach em' Might be harsh but I HATE liars more than anything on the planet. The second she came out and said that there was no cat after her husband had said there was I would have called the cops and I'm not like that normally at all.

Around here it's pretty illegal to dispose of bodies in the garbage, they don't want them in the landfill de-comping and possibly spreading disease to wild birds who eat the trash.

I'd be PO'ed!

If you're moving out anyway, then what on earth have you got to lose? Go through their trash, confront them. Do it on your own, it would be nice to have your husbands support but if YOU really need this then he should be standing by you and you shouldn't let him disagreeing stop you.
You're ALWAYS going to wonder, trust me I know from experience. I'm almost 100% sure some teenagers that didn't like me posioned my perfectly healthy 7 year old bombay cat about 8 years ago and I could have had an autospy done but didn't at the time because of finances. I kick myself for it even now.

If you truly want to do something about this though you've got move on it, her body isn't going to keep for long wherever it is...

:aww
***HUGS***

 

[cajunlizz]

I would wait and when they take the garbage to the curbside , GO GET YOUR CAT .

Other than that , I would CALL the police and explain to them what all has happened and let them handle it


Would sure make her DH seem stupid if the law enforcement that he works for arrives at his door .

 

[Their Other Mother]

I'm so sorry. She sounds like such a nice little kitty. I too am one of those people who just can't let it go till I feel I have tried every option. For your own peace of mind go to the husband and tell him you just want to burry your pet. Don't let the trash truck come before you do because you will always wonder What If.... Then at least you will know you did all you could to honor your pet and have some sort of closure.