What to do? Hubby doesn't want all 5!

[SkyWarrior]

I guess what really bothers me is that you're treating your husband's word as law. Marriage is a partnership, as gryeyes pointed out, not a dictatorship. I've been married 25 years to the same man and we both respect each others' hobbies, whether it's my sled dog racing, his cars or airplanes, his hiking, our martial arts, my chickens, etc. We come to a consensus on most things and even when we've agreed on something (he wanted only one cat, for example), sometimes life gets in the way and I got adopted by my neighbor's cat, so now we have two. Life happens.

As others have said, if he's really upset about two little chicks, he's going to get upset fairly often. How is he at handling the big stuff if two little birds are ruining his day and making him mad? I mean, I went from 6 chickens to 25 birds (it's that chicken math thing

)-- it shocked my husband, but he got over it when we butchered the cornish crosses. Now he's asking when we're getting eggs.

He knows we're butchering the roos, so he's good with maintaining a flock. And he knows we're going to get attrition.

My concern is that this could be the sign of something far more ominous. I've never allowed my husband to dictate to me what to do with my pets. Not that if he did try to dictate, would it do any good. He knows that and we're both good with that. I respect his hobbies and he respects mine. That's really key in a relationship.

 

[myminicooper]

My DH is a saint...now I did have to convince him that chickens were the right thing to do. "They will eat the bugs, and make our lawn and plants pretty! not to mention all the eggs!!"..."how can we afford NOT to have chickens??" I thought up coop plans, did most of the manual labor myself (except the nail gun...he wouldn't let me use it, he said I would hurt myself.....which i probably would). We decided on 4...that was our number, that's what we built for, planed for decided on and we were going to get....4. 3 months of planning later, we finally went to get them, she put 5 in my little box, and i looked at my husband and asked him what he wanted to do (because god forbid I choose one to put back), he said "why don't you just get one more!" So we left w/ 6 instead of the 4 we planned on....thank goodness he likes to indulge me!!

almost forgot to mention that it does go both ways. He always gets what he wants and so do I. We discuss things w/ each other though and make sure the other is on board, otherwise it's not fair.

 

[dreamwallaby]

30sq feet ~ I *think* the outside run is suppose to be 10sqft per bird but you might want to run a search in the coop/run section to double check.
Makes more sense now, if there was no real discussion on a limit ahead of time then keep the 5

I kept talking about chickens and finally my fiance jumped on board. I got 4 and then just had to have this other white chick. I told him the morning of that I was thinking of adding another chick to the flock(I told him we were soon to be a family of 5 so of course it made sense to have 5 chickens, lol) and then took him with me to pick it up.
But I have to say that it kills me to log on to BYC because all I want are more chickens!!!

I am a huge animal lover also and grew up surrounded by critters. To me, it's just not home without pets, but I try to take into account his sanity too and discuss any new additions. We usually compromise and both remain happy

 

[DragonEggs]

I couldn't marry a man that couldn't deal with me sporadically bringing home some animal or another... because trust me it happens a lot! My dad had to get use to it. Now he just sighs and shakes his head. For the first few years of this I heard "You know YOU'RE taking care of them, right?" He would constantly remind me about how I was going to clean up after them and how I was going to buy their food and pay for their vet bills and I did EVERYTHING. I think thats why it only took a couple of years for him to get over it.

The guy I'm dating now knows he is somewhat responsible for my chicken obsession, since it was his best friends parents who sucked me in like a black hole. I persist that if we had not spent so much time at his friend's parent's house I would not have fallen in love with the silkies and would never have gotten into chickens. I swore 3, but I wasn't going to say no when she gave me 5 to start with! I insisted we were being polite. My first chicks were the same way. I swore 3, I got six. I told him I had to have insurance chicks in case some die (good thing too because I only have 1 left from that batch). Now chickens are a perfect excuse for him to get me to do something. He wants his truck washed? Thats 5 chicks. Feet rubbed? 2 chicks (sometimes 3).

He is also an avid smoker and warcraft player. He likes to splurge on junk food from McDonalds and Taco Bell a lot. I've gotten him to agree that my monthly chicken budget is equal to his cigarette budget. It works out for me, so thats all that matters

 

[gritsar]

Quote:
As I was responding, I was thinking How long till Redhen finds this thread.

Gotta love her,

Imp

Yes, we do love our redhen and our Impy too I might add.

Tell your DH to get over it or I'll send you a couple of Tyson broiler chicks. I've got plenty to spare.

 

[NHchicks]

You can try my method.

Pretend you agree with him wholeheartedly. Even more than wholeheartedly.

And then never get around to taking them back.

He'll get used to them.

(pure evil, I know. But I have learned several tricks after 20 yrs.!

)

 

[robk0220]

When my wife decided to get some chicks, my thought was, sure, ok. She'll get a few to start, and slowly as she gets more used to animals, we can get some more... Well, apparently a few = 40 chickens, 12 ducks, and 5 geese... then she started ordering hatching eggs... then she starts taking others animals... we now have a total of 41 chickens, 15 ducks, 5 geese, 6 cats, 1 dog.....

Now she wants some welsummers...

 

[kmwright]

If I find a box of broiler hens on my doorstep, I'll hunt you down!

Do chicks often die? We're already attached to them. They all have names and if one died I would be devastated! I guess I'll have to get used to it. I get sad when one of our fish dies.

My daughter was carrying the Cal white pullet around today like a baby. It was lying on it's back with its eyes closed. I mean DEAR GAWD if that doesn't make you want to keep them, you have no heart.

 

[CoyoteMagic]

Quote:
This is true!

Wow, I came back to this thread thinking I would find someone to say "I get that, just get rid of them" and instead, I'm all fired up now and want to keep them all! I didn't think there was a huge difference between 3 and 5. It's a little cramped and loud right now since they are in the garage, but once I get them outside, nobody will even notice! I have penned in area in the back that's approximately 30 square feet or so. Is that enough for 5?

I think he's mostly annoyed because I didn't run it by him, I just came home with them. But, whatever. His hobby is music. He goes to the record store all the time to trade stuff in and get new stuff and always goes over by about $25.00. I spent $4.99 on each chick.

Go figure.

I'll keep you updated. I want to keep the peace, but not at the expense of something I enjoy. You know??

Hun, if my hubby got upset I didn't run something by him, he would be one unhappy man.

When I met my husband, in the woods of PA, I was a 29 year old college graduate, who was the only woman in smack dab in the middle of a wilderness camp with 125 hard core juvenile offenders. Not one of those boys would dare raise his voice, let alone a hand to me, even though most of them could snap my neck like a twig. Prior to that I was a Park Ranger at a National Park. Had been homeless, living in a tent, just me and my dog to keep the coyotes away at night.

By the time he married me, he knew how strong willed I was and that I didn't need a man to take care of little ol' me!

If something is going to cost as bit of money, there is a discussion about it. If I want it, I will get it, but may have to save up for it.

But for 2 chicks, I don't think so.

He's got his hobbies, you've got yours!

One of my hobbies is fabric, lots and lots of fabric! I've drawn my husband into that one

Actually I think it's because he likes to talk and he flirts with all the older ladies at MaryJo's, lol

 

[arkansaschicks]

Enjoy your babies!!! All 5 of them. I started with 6 a year ago and my husband was not happy with that at all!! Now I have 22 and more to be born in a couple of weeks. My husband has not liked it but he has dealt with it. He too came from a house with no pets. (He just last month spent a weekend adding real estate to their coop) I never in a million years wanted chickens till my 11 year old daughter started begging for them since we moved to some acreage. Now she and I are literally obsessed with our babies!! You will find them to be the most wonderful addition to your family!!! Good luck! Just keep them all!!