What would you do?

[chook pen jen]

Have you explained to your dh, that dd is being harmed by getting the bailout every time she mucks up, we had the same problem with my dd and once the financial help stopped, she learned real quick how to manage, she got an apprentiship and is now a cabinet maker.
I still think she would never have got anywhere if the hand outs had kept going. So I think you are right, no kitten and no more money, and I hope it all works out well for you

 

[Xodrana]

If she really wants a kitten she will get one with or without your permission. As for the dishes i would say well I see there are no clean dishes so you are on your own for dinner. I would wash one dish and fix myself something to eat then get on my computer, read a book or what ever helps you to relax. This always worked for me but I did have to reenforce it occasionaly.

 

[Frosty]

DD doesn't live here. I am aware that she can get a kitten somewhere else, but it won't be one of ours. I feel that it would be irresponsible of me to knowingly put one of my kittens into a home like that unless I am willing to foot any vet bills.

As far as the dishes and stuff... at the time I was in the military. I retired, and DH immediately started saying that I would need to get another job. I smiled sweetly and said 'of course dear! I just need you to figure out how much we need to make between us to afford a maid and a cook because I won't do it all anymore!' He dropped that subject really quick and said that he understands.

He did tell DD that if things are that tight, that she can move back here until she gets on her feet. She refuses, so I told DH to not even think of helping her with rent or anything. And yes, I did explain to him that the only thing that he is teaching her is that she can blow her money and daddy will bail her out. I think he is getting the picture. A bit late, but better than never.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
What Mahonri said!!! Time for a heart-to heart with DH. You each have your reasons--you need to listen to each other and make a plan that you both agree to abide by.