What would you do??

[sheila3935]

Quote:
You said that better than I could have thats exactly how I feel. I'd go just because she didnt want me to

and butter wouldnt melt in my mouth at how nice I can be!

 

[Souperchicken]

My DH said he would go without me, and maybe that would be a good idea at this point. I haven't talked to SIL since this has happened except through email, just congratulating us on something - it was friendly. I kind of feel like the family in Lampoon's Christmas Vacation that visits Chevy Chase(minus the gross stuff- well my son does pick his nose in public sometimes) Hahaha!
I have 5 children, 10 and under, and it can be overwhelming for people who aren't used to being around children - but they are good kids. It would be nice to go just to show them how well behaved they can be. It might be worth going just for that. LOL!

 

[PineappleMama]

I wouldn't risk it. In case it really was just a courtesy invite and she fully expects you to not come it might well be very uncomfy if you do... for everyone. SIL wanting to tell you to leave but not wanting to since you drove 3 hours... and you guys feeling really lame because you took her at her word and came just to feel unwelcome.

I'd let DH go on his own and me and the kiddos would do our own thing. Maybe once theirs gets older and they get used to kids then maybe they'll be a little better... but why risk you guys being hurt, your kiddos being hurt... but then I am a majorly paranoid chicken who avoids confrontation... so *passes salt cellar*

Basically how my SIL is... I just do NOT feel welcome in her home, at all... I'll happily send something along, since FIL/MIL are going, but we'll be happy at home for sure vs possibly being incredibly uncomfy there... no contest. And the fact that with our risky cars we end up always riding with FIL/MIL and therefor cannot leave until they're ready... yeah, better to stay home... as I said, coward I am.

 

[Ec_Prokta]

I'd go. So what if there's tension? She invited you and you have to go. It's common courtesy.

 

[FlashPointFarm]

I would go. You'll get to see other family members there that you like and get along with, right? I'd concentrate on them, and just be civil with the rest. Not worth getting into a family dispute over a "he said-she said" issue. If these are your biggest family issues, you basically don't have any. Trust me, I know!

 

[Cindiloohoo]

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Ditto. Pretty much what I was thinking. Though if they made me feel uncomfortable, I'd be very likely to return the favor.

 

[gettinaclue]

I wouldn't go. You couldn't drag my dead body there. BUT, I would haunt them.

 

[caspernc]

alright, don't go unless you want to go. Just to get a raise! Or to see those who you want to see.

 

[Souperchicken]

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This is true. We all get along fairly well and I'm grateful for that. I don't want to make it a bigger deal than it really is.

 

[PineappleMama]

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Since when are you required to accept every proposition thrown at you? You've got the right to say no, for whatever reason or none at all, and others should respect your right to say no. An invitation is NOT a command from god, you do not have to obey or die. Sheesh I know one lady that agrees with Kumatora's sentiment and even though she's very ill ran around to THREE different kids' parties in one day... because they invited and she "couldn't" say no.

In this case... from someone who has already made it clear that they do not want you and/or your family in their house... I don't think it's a stretch at all to think that she just invited because it was expected of her... and think on this... If you don't go then SHE wouldn't look like the rude one... she did ask after all... make it your fault if you don't come... and if you do then you get to be uncomfortable... sounds like you lose either way... those derned if you do or don't situations are never fun.

Overall you know your kin better than any of us do. If you think even with some uncomfy that it'll be a nice visit worth three hours driving time and gas then go for it... if you don't think it will, and don't fancy spending that time/gas on the road just to be miserable then don't.