What's UR Fav Poem, Saying, Quote, Riddle, Joke, Limerick, Song, ETC

Date sort Score sort
There once was a chicken from Maine
who everyone thought was a pain
off with her head!
the rest of them said
the owner said "that would make me insane!"
 
Quote:
That's a good one and appropriate too for a Chicken Forum!!
D.gif
 
I have a coffee mug, t-shirt and sweatshirt with this saying:

"God, please keep your arm around my shoulders and you hand over my mouth."

I received all three as gifts from the last place I worked. I am, unfortunately, one of those people who is incapable of sugarcoating things, especially in times of high emotion.
hmm.png
Makes me a good supervisor, but not a lot of friends, LOL.

I know a ton of limericks, but none are appropriate for a family forum.
lol.png


Em
 
The world has no room for cowards.
We must all be ready somehow to toil,
to suffer, to die. And yours is not the less noble
because no drum beats before you
when you go out into your daily battlefields,
and no crowds shout about your coming
when you return from your daily victory
or defeat.

~Robert Louis Stevenson
 
“If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.”

Tallulah Bankhead--Famous Actress

“Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get”

Ingrid Bergman
 
Last edited:
A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.
Mae West

A hard man is good to find.
Mae West

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
Mae West

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction.
Mae West

A man in the house is worth two in the street.
Mae West

A man's kiss is his signature.
Mae West

A woman in love can't be reasonable - or she probably wouldn't be in love.
Mae West

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
Mae West

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
Mae West

Any time you got nothing to do - and lots of time to do it - come on up.
Mae West

Any time you've got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.
Mae West

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
Mae West

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West

Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.
Mae West

Don't keep a man guessing too long - he's sure to find the answer somewhere else.
Mae West

Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for.
Mae West

Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.
Mae West

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
Mae West

He who hesitates is a darn fool.
Mae West

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
Mae West

His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.
Mae West

I always say, keep a diary and someday it'll keep you.
Mae West

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.
Mae West

I believe that it's better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.
Mae West

I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.
Mae West

I enjoyed the courtroom as just another stage but not so amusing as Broadway.
Mae West

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
Mae West

I like a man who's good, but not too good - for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.
Mae West

I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far.
Mae West

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
Mae West

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
Mae West

I only have 'yes' men around me. Who needs 'no' men?
Mae West

I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.
Mae West

I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them.
Mae West

I see you're a man with ideals. I guess I better be going while you've still got them.
Mae West

I speak two languages, Body and English.
Mae West

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
Mae West

I'd like to see Paris before I die. Philadelphia will do.
Mae West

I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
Mae West

I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action.
Mae West

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
Mae West

I've been in more laps than a napkin.
Mae West

I've been things and seen places.
Mae West

If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.
Mae West

It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don't break any.
Mae West

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
Mae West

It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.
Mae West

It takes two to get one in trouble.
Mae West

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
Mae West

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
Mae West

It's not the men in my life, but the life in my men.
Mae West

It's not what I do, but the way I do it. It's not what I say, but the way I say it.
Mae West

Keep a diary, and someday it'll keep you.
Mae West

Look your best - who said love is blind?
Mae West

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
Mae West

Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.
Mae West

Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
Mae West

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
Mae West

One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.
Mae West

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.
Mae West

Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is.
Mae West

Personality is the most important thing to an actress's success.
Mae West

Personally, I like two types of men - domestic and foreign.
Mae West

Right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they're doing and saying in films right now just shouldn't be allowed. There's no dignity anymore and I think that's very important.
Mae West

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain.
Mae West

Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
Mae West

Sex is emotion in motion.
Mae West

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
Mae West

Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.
Mae West

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
Mae West

The score never interested me, only the game.
Mae West

Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.
Mae West

To err is human, but it feels divine.
Mae West

Too much of a good thing can be taxing.
Mae West

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
Mae West

Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office.
Mae West

When choosing between two evils, I always like to pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
Mae West

When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.
Mae West

When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
Mae West

When women go wrong, men go right after them.
Mae West

Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
Mae West

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
Mae West
 
Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married....

If this does not make you laugh out loud, you have lost your sense of humor.

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 Cuckoos
(MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem ticked off in the least.

Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'

When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh s@#t.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and fa@#$d.
 

New posts New threads Active threads

Back
Top Bottom