When did you stop hanging out with friends?

[AK Michelle]

I used to think I was missing something cause I don't have tons of friends. But I do have a couple GOOD friends.

I don't do drama or pity parties so some people think I'm a witch cause I won't follow them down those bunny trails. I've been called every name in the book just because I won't listen to "friends" whine about other friends or family members.

But,
I was recently in Seattle and a friend dropped everything and her whole family rearranged their schedule to meet me and my family for mexican food and hang out. I think I'm way lucky to have a friend like that. Next time I hope I can give her a bit more notice.


People change, we evolve, it's what we do. Do what makes you happy, and bring along those who inspire you.

 

[SarahFair]

Quote:
Yes but HOW do you tell someone they are going down the wrong road when they feel like they are having 'the time of their lives'.
All I see is unhappy people who drink to make themselves feel like they are having a good time

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

I stopped "hanging" out with my friends once I graduated highschool. Graduation was my passage of rights, my coming into adulthood....it was time to leave my childhood behind and show my parents that I had become the adult they'd hoped I would.

Now, I did keep two friends from HS. All three of us married and started families, but went different ways in our beliefs.

Several years ago both my friends were separated from their spouses for a period of time, because their spouses wanted freedom. They were single mom's for the time, and neither were happy about it.

They both have kids,and the one still drinks and parties and mostly gripe about her husband.

Their livestyles and relationships have gone so South from where my DH and I are. We at first tried to form friendships as couples, but that didn't work because the one friend and her spouse wanted to...uh...well....Let's just say WE don't share! Not like they wanted to. The results of their "sharing" has been cheating on eachother, lying, nearly divorcing, etc. LOTS going on that I can't even put here because it's NOT family friendly. I have mostly cut ties with this friend, as it wasn't a friendship as much as it was a toxin to my mental well being. She gets the occassional, HI how are you? and that's it!

The other friend and I have occassional conversations, but we're not into the same things, so it makes for awkward situations.

I've recently found, thanks to BYC, new local friends. Friends who seem to be on the same page and wave length as DH and me.

 

[ksacres]

Quote:
Yes but HOW do you tell someone they are going down the wrong road when they feel like they are having 'the time of their lives'.

If they matter to you, you just do it. If they don't, you walk away. It's simple.

It isn't your life to live though, it's theirs. To use or waste as they see fit.

If they aren't ready to grow up and you are, then you have to move on. There are millions upon millions of people in the world, don't waste your time on the ones that try to bring you down.

 

[SarahFair]

I just want a female friend or two that is my age, has children, inerested in entering chickens in the fair, likes cooking, and loves their family first and for most

I moved 30 miles from all these people and if it werent for FB and my SOs best friend since middle school (hes the main one Ive been speaking of) Id have no way to contact these people nor wouldnt care to.
I do love my SOs BF dearly as a friend (have been friends ever since I moved to that area) and am concerned for his well being but also can babysit him through every stage of his life.

 

[Hillbilly Hen]

Quote:
Sarah, there is a very easy answer. you don't need any excuses etc. it doesn't matter what is going on or anything else. if you don't like the circle of friends you are in, divorce them. cut ties and move on. it will not be fun, there may be consequences. bow out and move on. you don't have to explain or anything. just simply move on.

that's growing up. it's just part of the territory. and you don't necessarily HAVE to make new friends. that may come, and it may not. be secure in yourself and be done with it. relationships that are that much work are not worth it.

I agree with MJ here. I am just not as good at putting my thoughts into words. She said it perfectly.
It just means that you are the one growing up.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Quote:
Yes but HOW do you tell someone they are going down the wrong road when they feel like they are having 'the time of their lives'.
All I see is unhappy people who drink to make themselves feel like they are having a good time

They aren't always going to want to hear it. I've tried to tell my former friend several times....and she always reacted in anger no matter how I tried to tell her. In fact, she's tried to throw it back in my face by saying things to hurt me like, "Just because you have a good marraige" or something. She tries to make the good, positive things in my life seem bad, or like trash, to make herself feel better.

People like that are in a downward spiral, and you can't help them until they want to help themselves.

 

[SarahFair]

Quote:
Yes but HOW do you tell someone they are going down the wrong road when they feel like they are having 'the time of their lives'.
All I see is unhappy people who drink to make themselves feel like they are having a good time

They aren't always going to want to hear it. I've tried to tell my former friend several times....and she always reacted in anger no matter how I tried to tell her. In fact, she's tried to throw it back in my face by saying things to hurt me like, "Just because you have a good marraige" or something. She tries to make the good, positive things in my life seem bad, or like trash, to make herself feel better.

People like that are in a downward spiral, and you can't help them until they want to help themselves.

I just dumped a friend like that a few months back. I tried and tried to tell her that her little prescription addiction was wearing thin on me. I one day just stopped talking to her or hanging out with her and refused to hang out with anyone that hung out with her. Her family (mother, sister, and sister boyfriend) attacked my own family and I saying things like I only had my boys to keep me from working and other just HORRIBLE things that absolutly were not true. Posted all this on FB for everyone to see.
Needless to say everyone stopped hanging out with these people because they saw how they awful they could be.

 

[WriterofWords]

On Saturday and Sunday mornings I meet up with friends at our local hangout for coffee. As for friends from my youth I don't know too many of them anymore. I have one friend I used to rodeo with that still lives nearby and even though we were never really good buddies, but friendly, we support each other when needed. I'm not a partier, never have been, but I love to go out dancing and shoot pool, but I prefer to do it alone because then if I meet friends I can stay and visit without someone else wanting to leave and the opposite if I want to leave I'm not stuck there.
The way I am I make friends whenever and whever I am and temporary friends are good ones too.

 

[shelleyd2008]

Mine stopped once I moved away. It is very difficult to make new friends that I'm that close to. I have many acquaintances, but not many that I really want to hang out with.