When Will It End?

[mangled]

Okay folks, if you don't want to read a post about me bemoaning the miserable past few months we've been having, click away now.

Sorry, everyone, I just need a place to unload.

My husband and I are just at our wits' end. This year honestly has been nothing but downturns and bad luck.

For some reason we cannot get out of this bad turn of events. As much as I try to remain upbeat and optimistic, I'm just so defeated and beat down that I'm near tears all the time.

My son is doing well, that's not an issue. The dog's paw is finally healed up, and that's good.

Since they were released by some morons the other day, we've lost almost all of our chickens. They're just dropping like flies in the run or the yard, or dead in the coop in the morning. All my chicks died. I'm down to my RIR, Morgan, and 8 girls.

I'm medicating them with Teramycin right now, hoping I can catch something, but honestly, it's like they've been poisoned or something.

One of our cats was dead on the porch this morning.

Last night, my Mom finally got enough courage up to call me and let me know that my Gramma's cancer has gone terminal. She's basically on hospice care now. It's a matter of weeks, they say.

The car needs $800 in repairs to pass inspection.

My sister just self-admitted to the county treatment center this morning with alcholism and suicidal thoughts.

As of now, Christmas won't even happen, because there isn't enough money to grocery shop, let alone go out and start buying stuff for Christmas.

To top it all off, since we weren't able to keep our tax payments up to date through my son's illness, the bank is putting us into "forced escrow", which basically will increase our monthly mortgage payment by the amount of our delinquent taxes, plus an estimated amount of NEXT year's taxes, and long story short, our mortgage payment is going up close to $200 starting next month.

I sat down last night to try to figure it out, and there's no way our current income will even near meet our living costs, so I have to go back to work. Right now, we're a family of 4 living on an income of $32,000 a year. With the cost of gas and food prices going up, there's no way I can stay at home with my kids anymore.

My husband was so upset last night about me having to go back to work, he was actually in tears. He feels like he's let his family down, because he can't provide enough, and that's totally not the case.

Anyway, I'm just feeling like there's a black cloud of misery floating above us. I'm trying so hard to lean on my Faith and put my troubles in God's hands, but I'm just falling short of that.

Thanks for listening. Wish me luck finding a decent nusring position. Monday I go out to find a job.
Em

 

[Buster]

I am sorry you are having a bad time right now. I do wish you the best of luck. We all go through hard times and they can serve to make us stronger. Trials can be the Refiner's fire. We can choose to be gold or clay. Gold can be made into wonderful things when heated. Clay gets brittle and breaks. Think Gold.

 

[thechickenchick]

Oh sweetie. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I know it doesn't help but I truly do understand where you are coming from. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. If you want you can PM me. Sometimes just knowing theres someone to "talk" to makes it a little more tolerable. Hang in there, and hug your family!

 

[swampducks]

Tell your husband it is not his fault. When I was a kid (many, many years ago) my mom also ended up working in order to make ends meet. It happens to thousands of families when times are tough. And times will get tough then better, then tough then better over and over again.

Maybe have him think about your working is just to provide the extras and/or just till things get better. Just don't mention the extras aren't really luxuries.

Sorry about your birds and cat. Poision does come to mind. Since the police already have a file opened, you could tell them this, especially about the cat as they're probably geared more towards what is thought of as "real" pets anyway.

Good Luck.

 

[MaineChickens]

I so understand. I am not in your shoes yet, but my crystal ball is saying to prepare for the worst. This is happening to many families right now.

I wish you luck in your job search.

 

[mustangruss]

I think in this day and age you are feeling what many people are feeling. The economy just isnt good enough to ever feel comfortable with where you are. We will say a prayer for you and remember that as long as you have your family things can always be worked out. God Bless

 

[Chirpy]

I won't go into it but I honestly understand what you are going through (except the mysterious animal deaths). I will be praying specifically for you and your family as you face this difficult time.

There are so many times that we don't understand why we are facing things in life. God allows bad things to happen, He doesn't cause them. We are not puppets, we have free will/free choice and He wants us to come to Him freely. I'm praying that He will show you His love and give you the strength you need to keep going on.

Keep your eyes up and your family close.

 

[mangled]

Thanks, everyone.

I guess it all boils down to frustration that we can't give the kids the benefit of a Mom at home through their early years. My husband and I have tried so hard to make this a reality, and it's just falling apart.

The nursing field is just so flooded in our area, it's almost impossible to get in on the day shift, and that's exactly what I need. I'm going to go to the last facility I worked first thing Monday morning and see if they can fit me iin somewhere. I've remained on good terms with them. Even after three years, the Administrator still sends me Christmas cards.

My 5 year old was devastated when I told her Momma has to go back to work. She doesn't understand why, and she's afraid Daddy won't know what to do.

She spent most of the evening on my lap. My 2 year old is too small to understand.

They're finally asleep, and I'm on here to get my resume polished up. I know a lot of you other families are going through this as well, and it's just a sad sign of these difficult financial times.

Em

 

[newchickenfamily]

 

[nccountrygirl]

Darling you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers, remember God does not shut a door without opening a window. It will work out for your family just trust God.