lol this reminds me of ron white i couldnt find a vid of only the www.dontshakeababy.com skit did find several commercials for actual site though
When You Don't Know Whether To Laugh At Or Shake Your Children
- Thread starter deb1
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Quote:
I'll probably never be able to say that.
And whose fault is that, hmmmmm?
'Bout the time my DD started getting really mouthy I introduced her to the army recruiter. Problem solved.
Actually, we are all pretty mouthy in this house.
A child who wasn't slightly sarcastic would be underappreciated in my house.
I'll probably never be able to say that.
And whose fault is that, hmmmmm?
'Bout the time my DD started getting really mouthy I introduced her to the army recruiter. Problem solved.
Actually, we are all pretty mouthy in this house.
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- #13
- Thread starter
- #14
I remember one parent, who eventually moved her child from the classroom, saying her 4th grader didn't understand sarcasm. I so wanted to ask "what's wrong with your kid" because in our family that just wouldn't happen....
My niece, when she was about two, and her twin brothers were infants, was playing with her brothers. They were laying on the couch together, and she was picking her nose....she decided that feeding it to the babies would be appropriate.....we stopped her, but we nearly killed ourselves laughing too. She must have thought it was something to share.
Once, my younger son came complaining to me....Nick is making up songs about my penis. It was classic in all senses, so silly you had to laugh, so inappropriate for the brother to do, and forcing me to say words that never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have to say. How many of you, in your pre-child days, ever thought you would have tell someone not to make up songs about another person's equipment? How many time have you had to say things that never occurred to you that you would have to say?
My niece, when she was about two, and her twin brothers were infants, was playing with her brothers. They were laying on the couch together, and she was picking her nose....she decided that feeding it to the babies would be appropriate.....we stopped her, but we nearly killed ourselves laughing too. She must have thought it was something to share.
Once, my younger son came complaining to me....Nick is making up songs about my penis. It was classic in all senses, so silly you had to laugh, so inappropriate for the brother to do, and forcing me to say words that never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have to say. How many of you, in your pre-child days, ever thought you would have tell someone not to make up songs about another person's equipment? How many time have you had to say things that never occurred to you that you would have to say?
Last edited:
- Apr 15, 2009
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mom'sfolly :
How many time have you had to say things that never occurred to you that you would have to say?
Too, too many...
How many time have you had to say things that never occurred to you that you would have to say?
Too, too many...
- Jul 17, 2009
- 10,878
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- 291
Last night we took the kids out for the 4-yr old's b-day. LOOOONNNG story short, both kids got icky-sick: and my clothes and I caught the brunt of it.
As I was unloading them from the car, the 4-yr-old gets a whiff of me and says, "What the F$%& is that smell?!!"
I was laughing too hard to be annoyed or grossed out....
As I was unloading them from the car, the 4-yr-old gets a whiff of me and says, "What the F$%& is that smell?!!"
I was laughing too hard to be annoyed or grossed out....
- Oct 30, 2008
- 276
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Quote:
That is too funny...I've had to really watch what I say around my barey 3 yr old. When she was just learning to talk I remember finding a spill or something on my floor that ruined part of it and kept saying "crap" when I see her galloping thru the house repeating/singing "crap, crap, crap"...all over the house. Then the other day she asked me "if I got gum stuck in my hair would you be ticked?"....(That word just does not sound right from such a little perso)...lol
That is too funny...I've had to really watch what I say around my barey 3 yr old. When she was just learning to talk I remember finding a spill or something on my floor that ruined part of it and kept saying "crap" when I see her galloping thru the house repeating/singing "crap, crap, crap"...all over the house. Then the other day she asked me "if I got gum stuck in my hair would you be ticked?"....(That word just does not sound right from such a little perso)...lol
- Thread starter
- #19
mom'sfolly :
I remember one parent, who eventually moved her child from the classroom, saying her 4th grader didn't understand sarcasm. I so wanted to ask "what's wrong with your kid" because in our family that just wouldn't happen....
My niece, when she was about two, and her twin brothers were infants, was playing with her brothers. They were laying on the couch together, and she was picking her nose....she decided that feeding it to the babies would be appropriate.....we stopped her, but we nearly killed ourselves laughing too. She must have thought it was something to share.
Once, my younger son came complaining to me....Nick is making up songs about my penis. It was classic all senses, so silly you had to laugh, so inappropriate for the brother to do, and forcing me to say words that never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have to say. How many of you, in your pre-child days, ever thought you would have tell someone not to make up songs about another person's equipment? How many time have you had to say things that never occurred to you that you would have to say?
I remember one parent, who eventually moved her child from the classroom, saying her 4th grader didn't understand sarcasm. I so wanted to ask "what's wrong with your kid" because in our family that just wouldn't happen....
My niece, when she was about two, and her twin brothers were infants, was playing with her brothers. They were laying on the couch together, and she was picking her nose....she decided that feeding it to the babies would be appropriate.....we stopped her, but we nearly killed ourselves laughing too. She must have thought it was something to share.
Once, my younger son came complaining to me....Nick is making up songs about my penis. It was classic all senses, so silly you had to laugh, so inappropriate for the brother to do, and forcing me to say words that never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have to say. How many of you, in your pre-child days, ever thought you would have tell someone not to make up songs about another person's equipment? How many time have you had to say things that never occurred to you that you would have to say?
- Sep 28, 2008
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Okay... Here is a rather long one...But here she goes: My 3 year old daughter after returning from preschool (which has prayer and such) was sitting beside me and we were reading a book... The TV was on in the background... A man was shooting a gun at another character... (I quickly shut the tv off but it was too late.) My daughter says to me... "That man shot that udder man" followed by "but it's okay he is going to heaven!!!" She was overjoyed with her new learning about Jesus and heaven that the school was teaching... My heart melted as it was cute...
Then this
Mama... "Will I go to heaven? " I said .. "Of course you will dear... can we get back to the story?"
and then"Mama... Will you to heaven?" I said "I sure hope so"
then... "Mama... Will Daddy go to heaven?" I said... "I believe he will"
"Will Grandma go to heaven/" I said "Most assuredly... Now let's get back to the book"
And then "Mama will Jesse (our dog) go to heaven?" I said... "I have had enough of the game... Let's read"
But Mama ... Will Jesse go to heaven??? I said (because I knew there was no shutting her up till I answered "yep.. now let's read"
"Mama.... Will Shasta go to heaven?" (our cat) At this point.. I shut the book... I said we are DONE with story time... At this point she setted. We read and then prepared to go to grandma's house down the street...but not before I assured her the cat would also make the trip to heaven.
A little background here on Grandma... She is 82 years old and is recovering from a broken hip... She is in her chair most of the time and I go over and help her with her meals. She is a kindly old lady with a twinkle in her eye. She is a conservative woman that has miss manners style about her... She is a regal woman that has never cussed. She is a little put out that she can't get around like she wants to and is used to. She was very active up to this point.
We get out of the car and she charges up to the door like she has been shot out of a cannon... turns the knob and bounces up onto Grandma who is in the recliner. She grabs grandma's face in her chubby little hands and stares seriously at Grandma and says...
Wait for it
"GRANDMA... MOMMA SAYS YOUR GOING TO HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You should have seen the look on my mother in law's face... The color went right out...
(I think she though we were digging a grave out back to push her into)... I haven't laughed that hard ever
Then this
Mama... "Will I go to heaven? " I said .. "Of course you will dear... can we get back to the story?"
and then"Mama... Will you to heaven?" I said "I sure hope so"
then... "Mama... Will Daddy go to heaven?" I said... "I believe he will"
"Will Grandma go to heaven/" I said "Most assuredly... Now let's get back to the book"
And then "Mama will Jesse (our dog) go to heaven?" I said... "I have had enough of the game... Let's read"
But Mama ... Will Jesse go to heaven??? I said (because I knew there was no shutting her up till I answered "yep.. now let's read"
"Mama.... Will Shasta go to heaven?" (our cat) At this point.. I shut the book... I said we are DONE with story time... At this point she setted. We read and then prepared to go to grandma's house down the street...but not before I assured her the cat would also make the trip to heaven.
A little background here on Grandma... She is 82 years old and is recovering from a broken hip... She is in her chair most of the time and I go over and help her with her meals. She is a kindly old lady with a twinkle in her eye. She is a conservative woman that has miss manners style about her... She is a regal woman that has never cussed. She is a little put out that she can't get around like she wants to and is used to. She was very active up to this point.
We get out of the car and she charges up to the door like she has been shot out of a cannon... turns the knob and bounces up onto Grandma who is in the recliner. She grabs grandma's face in her chubby little hands and stares seriously at Grandma and says...
Wait for it
"GRANDMA... MOMMA SAYS YOUR GOING TO HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You should have seen the look on my mother in law's face... The color went right out...
(I think she though we were digging a grave out back to push her into)... I haven't laughed that hard ever
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