*whine* Graduation Plans

[PineappleMama]

Okay so may have seen me mention that DH is getting his Bach this month? He's 31 so it's been a LONG time coming. His elder Bro and Sis never graduated college... Bro DID graduate HS but blew off the ceremony... so MIL is really looking forward yes?

So the ceremony is the 18th... Grads get 5 tix ... I do NOT know if DH needs one himself, but I'm afraid so since it specified that School ID will NOT be accepted to get in the door. Now, minimum, we would like 5 tix for FIL, MIL, Me, DS and DD... then there's DH's Sis, her hubby, her two kids... then there's DH's Bro and maybe his GF...

My side, NO way am I inviting my Mom... drama queen... Uncle might cough up a lung in the middle of things... other Uncle said he and DW would love to come IF there's a spare... would love to see them, good folks who've ALWAYS loved DH... even back when we were in HS.

Anywho, DH is talking to his mom tonight and she has NO idea on tickets... none. Which is weird since back in... Sept/Oct she was telling US that the number was 5 and they'd do a lotto or something for extras, if any were available, no sooner than the end of Oct. She indicated she'd be keeping an eye on that... seeing as how it's her other Son and Daughter that need tix... yeah she doesn't recall any of that... never heard of it... so that should be interesting. BIL was ranting about the stupidity of ceremonies at Thanks so I doubt he'll be all broken up if there isn't a ticket for him... but his sister, I can see her pitching a fit. OR holding a grudge for a year or three if I get to go and she doesn't... but we'll see.

Moving on to the point of my WHINE... MIL mentioned that after the ceremony we could all go out for some dinner and drinks. Mind the ceremony starts at 7... if it lasts as long as DS's 6th grade one then we're looking at 2 hours minimum... putting supper at 9pm. Pretty late IMO, but given MIL's knack for NEVER being on time to anything (yes including weddings and funerals) we can't risk being at dinner when the ceremony starts... DH must be there an hour early too.... just no way.

ANYWHO, she mentioned the idea of everyone (assuming she'd magically have all the tickets she wanted?) heading from the school to eat, drink and celebrate DH's hard work. She asks his opinion and he mentions a couple places thinking maybe they'd have drink specials... so LESS will be spent... that's his main concern.

Mine as well, but also, after been penned in for two hours, or more, I doubt the four kids (ours and SIL's two boys) are going to be quiet and reserved .... DH's suggestion of Sherlocks is SO out... they're a PUB for pete's sake!... anywho, so I'm thinking somewhere that's really family friendly... naturally boisterous atmosphere would be a good idea... AND still enjoyable for the adults (hence Chuck E Cheese being out) so I suggested Razzoo's... cajun place... loud, but not too loud, nifty stuff to see there... great food... all four of us love it... MIL says "Oh M -SIL's hubby Mr Picky Eater of the Year- LOVES Cajun.... and of course BIL's GF is Cajun so she and he would love it... MIL says her and FIL are good with anything, it's DH's Celebration.

Yeah, well... evidently not. SIL says that her little angels won't eat anything if they took them there (not that they've ever taken them there, pure speculation)... thing is though THEY DON'T EAT ANYTHING ANYWHERE... went to Logans for DH's, M's and her eldest's b-day back a bit and they wouldn't eat the food they ordered... go to McD's... won't eat the food they ordered... at home... won't eat the food she prepares... at Nana's... won't eat the food prepared... their Dad set this great example of refusing to eat anything, and SIL has totally catered to that... OY still shudder to recall when me and MIL took all four to the bowling alley... the younger SCREAMED bloody murder for an hour straight. Tried pizza, scream. Tried nachos, scream. Tried hot dog, scream. Tried ice cream, scream. And I got all the "Do something about your demon of a child" looks from other patrons... while MY kids were sitting there being decent human beings.

Anywho, SIL has declared that we're all going to El Fenix... a fairly nice mexican restaurant that we've all gone to once before, years back, and no her kids didn't eat anything but chips.

Rather reminds me of the last two years Thanksgivings (not this year) where SIL declared that everyone in the clan was expected to cook everything and drive it out to her house ... while WE all live in the same city... did I mention it was the first holiday since FIL's dad had died and he was forced to choose between the traditional Thanks with his entire family, honor his dad, etc and catering to her whim??

Yeah... I'm whining... it irritates the CRAP out of me that SIL just throws away ANYONE else's opinion and demands this or that and expects everyone to fall into line to cater to her and her bratty kids... worse because we ALL know that they aren't going to eat what's ordered no matter where they go... even THEIR choice they pitch a fit... so WHY are we bending over backwards, and setting ourselves up for embarrassment when all four kids get loud after 2 hours sitting in a quiet nice place... when we could go somewhere that loud is welcome and 10/12 love the food?

*sigh* Did I mention that if anyone even looks at SIL wrong she'll hold a grudge for MONTHS... even years... so no one likes to cross her? Seriously... your parents are afraid of offending the CHILD by not granting each wish... while celebrating the OTHER child's achievement? I think it was INCREDIBLY rude for her to even mention it... it's HIS party, not hers... but then I'm biased...

DH wants to, as usual, just cave and give her what she wants... again... and yet again have to listen to the kids whine about not wanting this... so order ANOTHER plate and then they don't want that... how is that not spending a bunch? And doing all this in a quiet place where everyone will be staring at us...

I am now no longer looking forward to this day... and that sucks!

 

[FarmerJamie]

Good heavens, woman, the things you have to put up with.

Is this to celebrate you hubby's accomplishments? I'd say to the SIL that we are meeting at place "A" and really go to place "B", waayyy out in the other direction.

Congrats to your DH...

 

[PineappleMama]

That would work FINE if I was inviting MY sister or MY mom... but MIL and FIL are paying for supper so THEY get to choose basically... and THEY are at the mercy of miss cranky pants because the world revolves around me and it makes my butt look big.

I'm VERY tempted to just go to Razzoo's... and maybe eventually they'll notice we aren't there... but by then they'll prolly be seated so why not just stay and we four can have a nice little meal just us.

Razzoos is only just around the corner from El Fenix... wouldn't realize we weren't behind them since it's mostly the same route... oh yeah, SERIOUS consideration to just do what WE want and to heck with them.

Point is to REWARD the hard work? DH is a hermit who hates confrontation... so far it's not a reward... having people staring, not a reward. Listening to SIL baby talk to her TWELVE year old "Come on Ry pwetty pwease take one bite" is just nauseating...

Think maybe I'll tuck some funds away next check just in case.

 

[FarmerJamie]

Quote:
Oh my goodness. This should be interesting.

 

[PineappleMama]

Actually, I had a better thought.

If the kids REALLY want Mexican loaded with fat and who knows what else we may as well just hit Taco Bell, all of a block from the school, on our way to or back HOME from the Graduation... before means no growling bellies on top of sitting still for two hours... after means full bellies, can get comfy (who knows what the weather'll be like), and can watch a movie/play games... RELAX after years of work by DH and hours of sitting still and quiet by the kiddos.

Whatcha think? Good plan?

Thinking maybe I'll suggest to MIL that 9pm is too late for supper for us... WE are used to eating at 5:30-6 so it's totally the truth... and maybe we could do a family dinner another night... EARLIER? Minus the hyper after sitting too long risk... the hungry during the ceremony... etc??

And remember we're ASSUMING that SIL and Co will even be in the city... if they don't have tix for the ceremony that'll mean them driving out here at 9 just to watch everyone else eat... I don't see them waiting around until 9 to eat... that's not exactly nice right, especially for them growing boys... Just thinking of them...

Yeah, definitely considering making it TWO things... ceremony for those who have tickets...
And a family dinner the next night (we DO normally do family stuff on Sundays, DH and FIL's ONLY day off) or another...

Whatta ya think... does that sound reasonable?? Or just snarky?

 

[FarmerJamie]

Quote:
First, I couldn't/wouldn't/shouldn't take my own kids to Taco Bell first if we had public function afterwards, if you know-what-I-mean.

The family dinner another night is a great idea. No one would have to dress up, the pressure is off of DH, a true relaxing event.

See, a little venting, and the solution becomes obvious.

 

[PineappleMama]

Mentioned this idea to DH and he agrees it'd make WAY more sense... especially when you throw in that as he says "college graduations are REALLY long" so 9pm might be a low estimate... but no way to know so can't call an make a reservation, have to just show up with 12 people and hope... at already 9pm...

Agrees it's be WAY better to just do the graduation, quick bite en route, and come home Sat, then do family meet up for supper (or even just supper at In Laws House!!) on Sunday.

On the Razzoos thing... now I've got a HANKERING for Cajun... DH too, and since my B-day is Monday it's a perfect excuse to splurge and go this weekend. Best of both worlds...

Thanks for letting me ramble and come up with a less stressful (and snarky) alternative.

Now to sell the idea to MIL... eh... maybe I should start with FIL... he's usually happy to be snoring in his chair by 7 so bet he'd love this idea... and it's his paycheck we're talking about... eating at home (even if purchase 'drinks') is cheaper no doubt.... even if we ordered pizza.

 

[redhen]

Time to put on your big girl pants...

Your the wife of the graduate... You plan it.
Just let people know whats going on... and if they show up great! If not... its their choice.
Sounds like SIL does this just to see what she can push.... like a kid. NO way i'd tolerate it.
But i'm a mean old bag...

 

[mom'sfolly]

Okay...SIL is a nasty little brat, but it is not her day.

I say you feed your family and plan on a nice brunch on Sunday, open house style. That way friends and family can celebrate, everyone gets fed on time, and you're not hostage to SIL's bad manners and nasty children. If they won't eat anyway, she can bring poptarts for the monsters and you can relax. Say we'll have food from 10-2, that way if MIL is late, she knows she won't get fed. Make simple stuff, coffee cake, egg casserole, pre-made baked french toast etc. Buy some cheap bubbly and serve mimosas.

Don't let family drama ruin the accomplishment and celebration. Honestly tell MIL that so close to Christmas, something simple at home works better.

 

[PineappleMama]

SIL & DH will NOT come to my house, nor her eldest... he's stayed at our house once in his 12 years... no cable, never came back.

Family gatherings are NOT to be held in a house without cable. The world would end. Didn't you know?

God forbid you not have a 'valid' excuse for sitting on your butt doing nothing while the women do everything *growl*

FIL likes to watch TV, but he and MIL'll come over for supper, visit etc and he actually (surprisingly) has no problem hanging and talking... says our house (living room) reminds him of the old style where the living room was the 'conversation pit"

Eh, no big. I really don't care to be looked down upon, particularly by someone 6" shorter than me

And MIL's house is ... well with our convoluted curving (rather than graph style) streets I think it ends up being 1-1.5 miles walking from ours... it's no problem to drive over... and I don't HAVE to do the dishes... though I help anyways. Which is why grabbing pizza or chinese or chicken or whatever and just noshing it at MIL's would be awesome... less driving for EVERYONE... but mostly for MIL/FIL.

Was going to suggest Gilligans as a possible, most everyone loves them... but that night they're having their Christmas Party... GAH, no thanks!! BUT, if we're doing something Sunday... that's a possible. They have irish nachos that are SO good. *drool*

More to chew... err think on.