Who else hates being addressed as Ms

[Coopa Cabana]

I think the title Ms. was born out of the NOW movement, as a title for those women who got married but kept their maiden names.

 

[PaulaSB12]

Quote:
Well I am not married so I still have my maiden name and I am not a MS Iam a MISS. Also if Now want to fight female genital mutilation then how about stop being hypocrites and fight male genital mutilation (I bet an aweful lot of them had no problem mutilating their little boys! and by government statistics 115 baby boys a year die from that habit)

 

[twentynine]

I use the term Ma'm frequently. When addressing any female.

Very seldom do I use Ms, Mrs.

In my part of the world Madame (cajun french version of Madam) is still used frequently.

But what should I do, let's see so far some say Ms is wrong, some say madam is wrong, some say Miss is wrong, how about I grab (oh never mind I forgot where I was at) and holler out "Hey You wit the big feets". I bet that would go over like a lead balloon.

Next door neighbors are three 25 year old men, they are constantly addressing me as Mr twentynine. When they do it, I can't help but turning around and looking to see if some old guy is behind me. I keep telling them I would much rather be one of the guys. Shame of it is I am never encluded in any of the good stuff, but they sure can find Mr twentynine when the lawnmower is broke or the water pump needs priming.

I guess I am officially old, got my AARP card years ago.

 

[KimberlyJ]

I used to hate Ms. back during the feminist movement it seemed really pushy to me. But now I am a Ms by default since nothing else works.... my last name is "Jones" and my husbands last name is "Smith" . I can't be called Miss Jones since I am married, but I shouldn't be called Mrs Smith as that's not my last name. I personally would just love to be called by my full first name. More than the Ms/Miss/Mrs Ma'am thing, I hate being called just Kim, my name IS Kimberly.

We hosted two very respectful college aged baseball players last year. It was very confusing for them since they wanted to call me Mrs. Smith........and you know what, I let them. I was too impressed with their awesome up bringing to try and change it! (And they were from Maine and Rhode Island)

 

[Ridgerunner]

All these terms were developed by society to teach people how to respectfully address other people. Doesn't matter if that is Mr., Sir, Miss, Mrs., Ms., Ma'am, Madam, or Madame. Which were the proper terms just depended on how you were brought up. Where I grew up, Mizz was the correct pronunciation of Mrs. Any of them can be used sarcastically or with the intent of insulting, but that is usually detected by the tone of voice.

When people with different upbringings get together, they are not all used to the same usage. Some people take offense by being addressed by what the other person was brought up to consider respectful. I think for most it is unfamiliarity with the usage. I assure you when I called my teachers Ma'am, I was not thinking of a brothel. I was thinking of survival.

Ms. is a little different. I remember when you put your life at risk if you called the wrong person Mrs. or Miss instead of Ms. You also put your life at risk if you opened a door for what you thought was a lady. Sometimes the courtesy was appreciated and sometimes it was not. I remember when Ms. became the way to properly address business correspondence, whether you knew if the female you were writing to was married or not. It is just a way to deal with people.

If you are dealing with strangers and they call you one of these in a respectful tone, I think you are being unreasonable to take offense. You don't know how they were brought up. They don't know your personal politics and can't be expected to know your personal preferences. If you are dealing with someone on a regular basis and they are addressing you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, politely help them understand how you would prefer to be addressed, but don't be surprised if the childhood upbringing slips in every now and then.

 

[Dunkopf]

Quote:
Mrs. is "missus", and indicates that the woman is married. Miss indicates that the woman is not now, nor has ever been, married. Ms. is pronounced more like "mizz", and is supposedly used for a woman who is divorced or when you aren't certain if she is a Miss or a Mrs, or if she requests to be addressed in that manner as a high school teacher I had insisted upon. You would get in big trouble if you ever called her a Mrs.

Technically, it has been considered proper for some time now to address a woman as "Ms." unless directed to do so otherwise, though that certainly seems to be falling to the wayside in recent years.

I always use Ms on letters to women whom I don't know status on. Is that the correct way to do it?

 

[crossgirl]

Quote:
Mrs. is "missus", and indicates that the woman is married. Miss indicates that the woman is not now, nor has ever been, married. Ms. is pronounced more like "mizz", and is supposedly used for a woman who is divorced or when you aren't certain if she is a Miss or a Mrs, or if she requests to be addressed in that manner as a high school teacher I had insisted upon. You would get in big trouble if you ever called her a Mrs.

Technically, it has been considered proper for some time now to address a woman as "Ms." unless directed to do so otherwise, though that certainly seems to be falling to the wayside in recent years.

I always use Ms on letters to women whom I don't know status on. Is that the correct way to do it?

Yes!

Ridgerunner wrote anything I could say on the subject. I could care less how someone addresses me as long as it's respectfully and don't understand why so many people take offense where none is intended.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Quote:
When I took business etiquette/writing, Ms was the proper way, but my business etiquette/writing course (put on by my company) was a few decades ago.

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
to turn the tables, I hold the door open for people, man or woman,a ll the time, and have been called names, including not a lady for holding the door open for men, but I will continue to hold the door open for people because it is polite.

and when someone get to the door before me and holds the door open for me, I will thank them.

My friends and I would always start exaggeratedly looking around saying "Where!?" when someone referred to us as ladies. We always met this with a joke because we do many "unladylike" things in our diverse group like being called "Ms", hunting, fishing, riding, martial arts, weight lifting, yard work, wood work, fixing cars, shooting, fixing up the house, using chain saws, holding doors open for people, including each other, pulling chairs out for people, and so on.

if it really is about manners then men wouldn't get so bent out of shape about us holding doors open for them and pulling chairs out for them, something we do our of manners. we have this habit of who ever gets to the door or table first holds the door open or pulls the chair out for our partners.

 

[zoo357]

Kristy, I too hold the doors open for people and always thank anyone who does the same for me.
I guess what I should have said in my first post was that when I'm called "ma'am" it makes me feel old. I've also heard the same when Dave has been called "sir" when we've been out. He will usually loko around and say "where".

I also love your comment about "ladies" as I've done that with my friends.....
I have noticed since my son has been in the service he refers to people with "ma'am" and "sir". I do realize it's showing respect but.......